Wut's the Problem with Me
I wake up everyday feeling great. But i alwayz wake up knowin that im alone. I swear Shaun cursed me. I just dont kno wut's wrong with me. I kno im 15 but by this time in everyone's life they have had a relationship a good one. Shaun and i's just plain sucked I might as well just face that. We couldn't stay with each other. But when we weren't together we were crazy about each other. But he cheated on me all the time. I dunno wut's wrong with me. I can't seem to keep a relationship. I have tried but i jus wasnt into them enough. And the guys that i actually like and think i may have something with i can't get. I mean let's take now as an example. i like this guy alot. Were friends and i guess we mess around but he doesn't want a relationship. I mean i could treat him so well, but i dont have the chance to prove it. I guess i have to respect his decision cuz it's his life, but sometimes i wonder if im just a booty call. I mean am i anything else. Cam tells me all the time how im a great chic n when this guy see's how great i am he's gonna want me. But then how can i believe Cam when he told me he really wanted to be with me, then he fucks lindsey. Just my luck right. And i dont want it to seem like im whinning or cryin about it but this hurts. Cuz im happy most of the time, but i wish i had someone to share it with. I mean this guy that i like, I swear to god i could treat him so well. But i dont have the chance too.
And sometimes as stupid as it sounds i miss shaun. Ill read the notes and listen to that cd. And times jus come back. The night i ran away and he cried and told me he loved me and i actually thought he meant it. The times i snuck out and we would jus hang out and talk. When i came home from brooklane and all he could do was hold me. Were still friends but he can't deny he doesnt still think about me. I wana kno wut i did to screw that up. Wut the hell was so wrong with me. And wuts still wrong with me. Y am i not able to get something else. If that person that I like is readin this and actually kno im talkin about u. I could treat u soo well jus give me chance. Today has really jus sucked for me. I'm goin to homecomming at walkersville tomorrow so hopefully ill feel better before that. Well im gettin outta here now. Amber and trey r coming over to hang out. TTYL