(no subject)
Heh, I haven't been onto the blog for so long that I've actually managed to forget my password. I've had it emailed to me but as the NF email has been down for almost a month then I can't find it out yet.
Much has happened since I last wrote, we've left our tiny dog box of a flat and are now residing in a beautiful four bedroomed home which I love. Dan left his job in the city and said goodbye to the hour commute at each end of the day in exchange for a ten minute walk to his new work, teaching at the local college. Declan has grown from being a little blob into a squirmy baby, at his two month check up three weeks ago he weighed in at 5.55kg and 59cm long. All of his clothes are too small for him in the length but too baggy for him around his stomach and shoulders, he definitely picked up Dan's lankiness, I think he's going to be taller than me in a few years time.
As for me, I have my good days and bad, it's literally a case of gettting through one day to the next, I'm feeling better since the move has finished, and it's now been three days since I've ended up crying in a crumpled heap while poor Dan tries to work out what's wrong. I love the baby to distraction but there are times when I truly want to go out to buy some milk and never come back. I feel miserable about my body, I thought that I would be back to normal by now but three weeks ago I still had another 8 kilos to lose, only problem is I have no urge to do anything about it and because I feel so down I eat really badly - ice cream is my best friend, I've already lost 12 kilos (although four of them were a baby!) and I'm trying to focus on the fact that it took me 9 months to put it on so I should take 9 months to get it off, but I just feel so crap everytime I'm naked, particularly in front of Dan. I'm still very anxious, I have real problems falling alseep most nights just because of all the things that are going through my head, I panic about money, think of things that I should have done during the day and didn't, and I'm still constantly worried about something happening to Declan.
I have a Doctor's appointment today, the baby has been having real troubles settling lately so we're just giving him a check up to make sure he's doing okay, I have to see if I can get the lump on my head removed (Dan and I refer to it as my tumor and although it's stayed the same size for the last two years it's suddenly started growing again) and Dan wants me to talk to the Doctor about my mood swings, I'm still unsure as to whether I'm going to bring it up though.
I started taking the minipill a few weeks ago :( no more babies for us for the time being, it's funny, I may be near enough to throwing him through the window some days, but I really can't wait to have another one, the good outweighs the bad so easily, I'm in love with that silly gummy smile.
I've had very limited internet access for the last month, and I'm really not missing it, I'm focusing on the baby a lot, obviously, trying to look after the house (although Dan would probably say otherwise!) and just enjoying life away from the computer. I'm sorry if I've missed anything significant, but I'm trying to slowly get back into coming online every so often and catching up on people's journals, but feel free to fill me in :)