A Letter to My Lovers (xposted from FB/Tumblr/etc.)
Perhaps we've just met. Perhaps we've known each other for months, years, even decades. Perhaps you aren't sure about exactly who I am, or what I mean when I say or don't say things, or what to do with me at all. It's fair for you to wonder, so I'm going to explain, or at least try.
I will love you. This is a promise I can make because frankly, I've lived with myself a long time, and I've developed a degree of self-knowledge. I may not love you right in this moment, but it's safe to say I will. It's not the easiest thing to explain, but I can tell you it's not just a feeling, but a calling. I will love you. That is my promise.
When I say I will love you, I'm not trying to mold our relationship, whatever it may be, into any particular form or shape. To love you is not the same thing as to want to pair-bond with you, complete with picket fence and 2.5 kids. When I love you, I'm not painting a picture of any hoped-for future. I will offer you my heart, without strings attached.
When I say I will love you, I'm not trying to claim you, or demand that you love me back. My love for you will not be contingent upon reciprocation. I will not restrict you, or ask for anything you can't offer of your own free will. I will merely open a room in my heart for you, and that room will belong to you. I will let you in.
When I say I will love you, I won't love others any less for your presence in my heart. The human capacity for love is infinite. You will be one of the many people I love, and yet I will love you no less than I would if you were the only one. I love fiercely and permanently, and every love is sacred. I will choose you to stand in the proudest company.
When I say I will love you, I'm promising a leap of faith. To love someone is to be vulnerable to that someone. I am entrusting you with the potential to cause me enormous pain, and hoping I've chosen well. I will bare my throat to you.
When I say I will love you, I'm promising you my kindness and care. Those I love receive my support and protection, to the extent of my ability. You can text me at 4am when you're too drunk to get home, or call on me to sit with you in the doctor's waiting room, or cry and cry and cry, and I will ensure that you are safe. I will stand guard for you.
I say these things because I don't know any other way to love. I love broadly and deeply, exuberantly and enduringly. And if you are my lover, you will be my love, also. I've tried to separate the two, and I can't, any more than I could separate life from breath.
I will love you.
I will love you. This is a promise I can make because frankly, I've lived with myself a long time, and I've developed a degree of self-knowledge. I may not love you right in this moment, but it's safe to say I will. It's not the easiest thing to explain, but I can tell you it's not just a feeling, but a calling. I will love you. That is my promise.
When I say I will love you, I'm not trying to mold our relationship, whatever it may be, into any particular form or shape. To love you is not the same thing as to want to pair-bond with you, complete with picket fence and 2.5 kids. When I love you, I'm not painting a picture of any hoped-for future. I will offer you my heart, without strings attached.
When I say I will love you, I'm not trying to claim you, or demand that you love me back. My love for you will not be contingent upon reciprocation. I will not restrict you, or ask for anything you can't offer of your own free will. I will merely open a room in my heart for you, and that room will belong to you. I will let you in.
When I say I will love you, I won't love others any less for your presence in my heart. The human capacity for love is infinite. You will be one of the many people I love, and yet I will love you no less than I would if you were the only one. I love fiercely and permanently, and every love is sacred. I will choose you to stand in the proudest company.
When I say I will love you, I'm promising a leap of faith. To love someone is to be vulnerable to that someone. I am entrusting you with the potential to cause me enormous pain, and hoping I've chosen well. I will bare my throat to you.
When I say I will love you, I'm promising you my kindness and care. Those I love receive my support and protection, to the extent of my ability. You can text me at 4am when you're too drunk to get home, or call on me to sit with you in the doctor's waiting room, or cry and cry and cry, and I will ensure that you are safe. I will stand guard for you.
I say these things because I don't know any other way to love. I love broadly and deeply, exuberantly and enduringly. And if you are my lover, you will be my love, also. I've tried to separate the two, and I can't, any more than I could separate life from breath.
I will love you.