My Top 50 wishes for the finale
My Top 50 wishes for the finale:
50. Sookie pulls a Kelly Taylor and choses herself. And someone actually makes a Beveryl Hills 90210 reference about it.
49. No death for Terry.
48. I want Holly to wear that riddiculously awesome dress all episode, because I feel like it's mocking the fairys. Then I want it to go up in flames.
47. Jessica's hair must get more sreen time than Sam, Luna and that annoying little Emma Sue together!
46. After Laffy is back to normal, I want Jesus to sit down with Andy and explain to him, calmly and reasonably that some of his bigoted/racist comments are hurtful. Because Jesus is the person who'd totally do that!
45. Sookie must be seen working at Merlottes for more than 2 minutes
44. Eric must apologize to Pam. On his knees.
43. The season ends with Jessica and Pam giving our love triangle an intervention about how they're all horrible together.
42. Sookie must swear to Jason to never see Eric or Bill again. And then she must immidiately run off to fuck them both, because we gotta stay in character.
41. I want to hear vampires talk in their native tongues.
40. Where the fuck is Steve Newlin?
39. Tommy CANNOT come back. He just cannot. He bugs me too much.
38. No more scenes focusing on Andy's story. He's had far too many since season 3.
37. Nan Flanagan must have a conversation with Jason Stackhouse, for comedic purpose alone.
36. I also want to see her on TV again. It's been ages, and someone must put the awesomely ignorant conservative fuckers in their place.
35. Laffayette must wear the best earrings around.
34. Ginger must scream at the top of her lungs
33. Jason cannot become a vampire. Seriously. He has no self-control, they'd have to take him out in a week. Plus, Jessica is too immature to be a maker, Bill can't even get his own act together, let alone look out for her and Jason is awesome the way he is. Plus, someone at the police station needs to keep an eye on Andy.
32. If someone kills Laffayette ---- aw, I can't even think about it! Don't. Just don't.
31. No sex dreams, we've had enough for one season.
30. Someone must point out that Eric did indeed act like Russell recently, even if it was under a spell (and then later at Moon Goddess without a spell) - and Pam must not be around to childishly defend him. Because he doesn't deserve it.
29. I don't want Pam to stop at throwing things off of Eric's desk. Destroy the whole fucking office! Go insane while Ginger watches with her mouth open! Throw hard stuff! Destroy a computer! Get crazy hair! And at the very last second, reveal that Nan Flanagan has been standing behind Ginger the whole time, but noone noticed. Because I just love her facial expressions when people express these things called "emotions". It's like Sheldon Cooper, but hotter.
28. Don't turn Hoyt into a bigot. It'd be lazy writing and totally OOC. He's had a break-up two nights ago and he's already calming down, give the guy a fucking break! OMG, he said mean things? While his first gf dumped him because he wasn't "enough" for her? And he acted petulant and stupid after that? And he got drunk? Who acts like that during a nasty, hurtful break-up? Oh, right, guys.
27. Bill must sign a pledge to Jessica that he never will try and kill himself for Sookie again. Then she has to send him to his bedroom. Without desert.
26. Speaking of Bill, someone should make sure this guy never gets employed again. So far, he's tried to kill all his bosses - what is wrong with him?
25. Whoever is wearing that little red riding hood must impersonate Amanda Seyfried.
24. Someone must acknowledge that Adele Stackhouse is/was always right. I also would love to see Jason, Tara and Sookie visit her grave together. It's just such a normal family activity and they're kind of family, so why not bring some humanity into all the crazy.
23. No more wasted time on advertising the love triangle of doom. Don't show Sookie chosing one of them. Don't show any more love triangly professions, don't show them fighting over Sook, don't show how fucking torn she is over which serial killer she'd like to romantizise and glorify/defend/fuck/date next season. NOBODY CARES you guys!
22. Can Marnie-in-Laffayette please fool a couple of people and just pretend to be Laffayette? It would add so much to the suspense!
21. Cray-cray Debbie!
20. Tara going ninja-badass on cray-cray Debbie with her cage fighting experience. Then the actual police shows up, stuns Debbie and brings her into prison. So she can come back in season 7, covered in tattoos, smoking like a chimney and burning down EVERYTHING (though probably just Alcide's house)
19. Fuck it! Let's just put EVERYONE in leather jackets!
18. No more organs pulled out of people, that's so 2010!
17. Give it a two-weeks-later scene at the end. Sam is seen talking on the phone to Luna (his only scene in the episode), Arlene and Tara chat with Holly, Jesus has to work, everyone is doing their fucking job actually, which means Jason and Andy in police uniforms and then Alcide comes to have coffee with Sookie and asks her out.
16. Can the authority be the villain for the 6th season? And Russell for the 6th?
15. Stop pretending Eric and Bill have to face no consequences for their actions, ever. I want them both tried and fired for their crimes, because I want a shot of reality in their storyline. And I don't want it resolved by them just killing someone and noone ever coming to find out it happened. That's just getting riddiculous. Wasn't Talbot in a romm full of guards? And noone stormed in when he screamed in pain and a blood-spattered viking zoomed out? Get real, people.
14. I want to see Laffy-as-Marnie in at least 3 colourful robes. Make it happen, costume department?
13. More awesome one-liners for Pam!
12. Eric buys Pam new pumps, so she can throw them at him and Sookie while they make out. Just for the hell of it.
11. Coby and Lisa have to appear. I love them!
10. A sundress for Sookie
09. Why hasn't Hotshot exploded already?
08. Can we have more twisty storylines, please? I miss the rush, the excitement, the surprise! Let Russell come back, kidnap a weather girl
named Tiffany and force her to read the weather report backwards. Then reveal the Bill sold Sookie for a pack of gum, to give that gum to Jason for saving Jessica. But Jason has become Hoyt! And then there are two Jasons! Pam has secretly been Nan's girlfriend for 72 years! Summer is a spy send by Debbie Pelt! A rainbow appears and explodes! Metaphors! Andy proposes to Alcide! What? He's on drugs! More blood!
07. While we're at it: BRING RUSSELL BACK! Like, now!
06. Don't let the final cliffhanger be Eric/BIll burning at the stake. We all know they'll survive until the season ends, it's not really ... it's like when Sookie is in mortal danger. Only Sookie at least has to go to hospitals or fairy worlds sometimes to survive, vampires just heal while we watch. It's lame. Also, it was in the trailer.
05. Someone has to point out to Jason and Jessica that they have not been interested in each other BEFORE the blood, therefore the blood bond is actually what caused it. Also, they cannot talk about how they would feel the same without the blood because they have no fucking clue. I mean, come ON! I love their chemistry, but this train of thought is pretty dumb.
04. Make Pam realize that you shouldn't be the lackey/cheerleader of a man who treats you this way.
03. Keep the fucking Faeries away!
02. No Crystal, please. No Hotshot at all.
01. AAAAAND NAN STAYS ALIVE PLEASE. She also must have the exit line "I'm surrounded by Idiots!" before she gets into her car and leaves this crazy place, because it's been a long time coming. Also, it's so true. That'd be all.