In Less Than Three Weeks Time ……...
……. on the 23rd November is my pre op appointment with Shaw Somers and his bariatric team for weight loss surgery.
The hospital is over 100 miles away, the appointment is for over four to five hours long and will include the psychiatric assessment followed by a decision as to which type of weight loss surgery I can have safely, a good look inside the abdominal cavity to see what can be done for improvements there and general discussions as to the way forwards for me in general post surgery.
I do know several things already :
a) the metal plate which was put in to reconstruct an abdominal wall to hold back all the internal organs is now too large for the space its occupying, its anchored to the inside of the skin therefore needs to come out, made much smaller and put back in or replaced altogether
b) the adhesions built up over time from three previous c-c-sections and the reconstructive surgery have been reducing in size, plus muscle tissue all cut back during previous surgical procedures in March 2008 have grown back to a significant amount so may not be cut through again
c) I have worked extremely hard this year and already lost a grand amount of weight, its just over 65 pounds in total now which has made a huge difference to my mobility issues and life in general, its making me very excited to be able to see what I will be able to do if another 65 pounds were to disappear.
There are loads of things whirling around in my head making sleeping very difficult at the moment, the main thing are all the what ifs that keep popping up, namely: what if the surgeon decides he won't do the surgery, then what will I do as I've literally pinned all my future hopes and dreams on this very big experience already.
Having quit smoking I feel good, not, the nerves are really kicking in also causing me to not sleep or have irregular sleep patterns. I feel great inside knowing I've done it, got past the hard part of just stopping, now though is the long battle getting it all out of my system completely and just carrying on as a non smoker from now on. My chest feels quite odd, I've started to have that horrid non productive cough and everything tastes different thus weird now too.
Been worried sick about the house lately too, rats mainly. The dogs have killed a fair few over the last few days just outside both back doors, both upstairs and down which is unnerving. Opening the door to the balcony to see a large dark blackish colour rat sprawled out in font of you is enough to send me in a state of not being able to sleep for several weeks all by itself. Honestly the thought of them coming back into the house after it took so bloody long to rid the place of them before Christmas last year frightens me greatly.
Hubby's birthday was yesterday, he is completely over the moon with having quit smoking the week before, I am so very proud of him because he's gone from about 25 to 30 a day to 0 in the space of ten days, no one ever thought they'd see the day he'd quit just like that. He's also been walking several times a day since Kai came to live with us on the 14th October so is already starting to feel the benefits of exercise too. I am very happy for him that he's doing this for himself. I think initially he was just going along on the wave of excitement from my corner where I have been avidly determined to change my own life personally, he'd said he would try quitting and putting in more exercise because I have been doing those things but then quickly came to realise how much of a change its making on his own self which is fantastic and I feel very proud.
Christmas too, normally I've finished all the shopping by now, this year I have not even decided on one single item for anyone. I can not focus on anything until I've been to the hospital I dont think so I am going to put the money aside until after that date, already made a start by saving the smoking money in a jar and will continue to build up the first month's worth as quitters as that should be Christmas sorted then all I need to do is decide what to purchase for everyone in the house.
All I keep on yearning for is a body to match my new mindset, in my head I'm fitter and healthier than ever before in my adult life, which is a total contrast to what is actually happening in real life. What is happening is that yes, I can do more now than I have been able to for over five years but its no where near physical fitness by any stretch of the imagination, but for now its working for me and I can get in and out of the bath, make it to the toilet in time, control my mid section ad generally hold myself upright for longer periods of time, am off the strongest of pain killers so am no longer addicted, that was an experience in itself coming down off the ceiling from years of taking those tablets like they were sweets let me tell you, prescription or not from now on I want to be healthy and non artificial again like I always was before all of this crap started back in 2006.
So diet wise I appear to have hit a plateau over the last nine weeks and my weight has not changed or even moved up or down. Its staying between 1 and 2 kilos apart frustratingly so. I really need to get back into cutting down those carbs again to kick start the system off into weight loss once more but the energy I'm burning now each day is fairly balanced to that what I'm consuming so waiting for my next nurse appointment on the 21st to discuss what to do for the best. When I brought up the subject last Friday at swimming club she said she didn't want me to loose any more weight in between now and my appointment with the surgical team on the 23rd because I just about fell into the bracket of criteria for surgery on the NHS as it is, if I loose 2 more pounds my BMI will be too low for the main part of the surgery. I can have the rest fixed no problems like the metal made smaller, free up the trapped nerves etc but the actual gastric bypass I so want will not be funded if I fall out of the qualifying obesity levels stated for approved funding applications. Having been turned down twice already I want to run with it all now that funding has been approved and issued. I want a different life, a new one, fully improved and filled with exciting challenges, not the one I've had to become used to sitting back not being able to move much because my body is too weak and in constant pain. I want an opportunity to shine once and for all as an adult woman.
The hospital is over 100 miles away, the appointment is for over four to five hours long and will include the psychiatric assessment followed by a decision as to which type of weight loss surgery I can have safely, a good look inside the abdominal cavity to see what can be done for improvements there and general discussions as to the way forwards for me in general post surgery.
I do know several things already :
a) the metal plate which was put in to reconstruct an abdominal wall to hold back all the internal organs is now too large for the space its occupying, its anchored to the inside of the skin therefore needs to come out, made much smaller and put back in or replaced altogether
b) the adhesions built up over time from three previous c-c-sections and the reconstructive surgery have been reducing in size, plus muscle tissue all cut back during previous surgical procedures in March 2008 have grown back to a significant amount so may not be cut through again
c) I have worked extremely hard this year and already lost a grand amount of weight, its just over 65 pounds in total now which has made a huge difference to my mobility issues and life in general, its making me very excited to be able to see what I will be able to do if another 65 pounds were to disappear.
There are loads of things whirling around in my head making sleeping very difficult at the moment, the main thing are all the what ifs that keep popping up, namely: what if the surgeon decides he won't do the surgery, then what will I do as I've literally pinned all my future hopes and dreams on this very big experience already.
Having quit smoking I feel good, not, the nerves are really kicking in also causing me to not sleep or have irregular sleep patterns. I feel great inside knowing I've done it, got past the hard part of just stopping, now though is the long battle getting it all out of my system completely and just carrying on as a non smoker from now on. My chest feels quite odd, I've started to have that horrid non productive cough and everything tastes different thus weird now too.
Been worried sick about the house lately too, rats mainly. The dogs have killed a fair few over the last few days just outside both back doors, both upstairs and down which is unnerving. Opening the door to the balcony to see a large dark blackish colour rat sprawled out in font of you is enough to send me in a state of not being able to sleep for several weeks all by itself. Honestly the thought of them coming back into the house after it took so bloody long to rid the place of them before Christmas last year frightens me greatly.
Hubby's birthday was yesterday, he is completely over the moon with having quit smoking the week before, I am so very proud of him because he's gone from about 25 to 30 a day to 0 in the space of ten days, no one ever thought they'd see the day he'd quit just like that. He's also been walking several times a day since Kai came to live with us on the 14th October so is already starting to feel the benefits of exercise too. I am very happy for him that he's doing this for himself. I think initially he was just going along on the wave of excitement from my corner where I have been avidly determined to change my own life personally, he'd said he would try quitting and putting in more exercise because I have been doing those things but then quickly came to realise how much of a change its making on his own self which is fantastic and I feel very proud.
Christmas too, normally I've finished all the shopping by now, this year I have not even decided on one single item for anyone. I can not focus on anything until I've been to the hospital I dont think so I am going to put the money aside until after that date, already made a start by saving the smoking money in a jar and will continue to build up the first month's worth as quitters as that should be Christmas sorted then all I need to do is decide what to purchase for everyone in the house.
All I keep on yearning for is a body to match my new mindset, in my head I'm fitter and healthier than ever before in my adult life, which is a total contrast to what is actually happening in real life. What is happening is that yes, I can do more now than I have been able to for over five years but its no where near physical fitness by any stretch of the imagination, but for now its working for me and I can get in and out of the bath, make it to the toilet in time, control my mid section ad generally hold myself upright for longer periods of time, am off the strongest of pain killers so am no longer addicted, that was an experience in itself coming down off the ceiling from years of taking those tablets like they were sweets let me tell you, prescription or not from now on I want to be healthy and non artificial again like I always was before all of this crap started back in 2006.
So diet wise I appear to have hit a plateau over the last nine weeks and my weight has not changed or even moved up or down. Its staying between 1 and 2 kilos apart frustratingly so. I really need to get back into cutting down those carbs again to kick start the system off into weight loss once more but the energy I'm burning now each day is fairly balanced to that what I'm consuming so waiting for my next nurse appointment on the 21st to discuss what to do for the best. When I brought up the subject last Friday at swimming club she said she didn't want me to loose any more weight in between now and my appointment with the surgical team on the 23rd because I just about fell into the bracket of criteria for surgery on the NHS as it is, if I loose 2 more pounds my BMI will be too low for the main part of the surgery. I can have the rest fixed no problems like the metal made smaller, free up the trapped nerves etc but the actual gastric bypass I so want will not be funded if I fall out of the qualifying obesity levels stated for approved funding applications. Having been turned down twice already I want to run with it all now that funding has been approved and issued. I want a different life, a new one, fully improved and filled with exciting challenges, not the one I've had to become used to sitting back not being able to move much because my body is too weak and in constant pain. I want an opportunity to shine once and for all as an adult woman.