Hormone Craziness & Brain Fog
Experiencing bouts of extreme tiredness then hyperactivity these last few days. Yesterday I felt like the energiser bunny on the go all day from late afternoon right up until around 1am then still couldnt sleep so knitted through one and a half movies, half an hour of financial news (WTF?) then finally forced myself to stay horizontal in the bed until finally falling asleep. It was already starting to turn daylight by then. I got up again just before 5:30 to use the toilet AGAIN then fell straight back to sleep but kept waking every half an hour or so. Feeling extremely unsettled at the moment.
This is day and night seven without Harvey breastfeeding. He naturally stopped on his own I havent instigated this but now its gone through a week without any I want it to continue. My left breast hurts a lot and with not being able to climb into the shower to run warm water over it, its presenting a little problem for me today as its niggling away and he asked for some, must have been able to smell the milk or just feel the connection.
The large parcel of dancewear shoes and tights arrived today minus Harvey's tap shoes. Oh dear, this resulted in 42 minutes and 37 seconds of him screaming in my ear sitting half on my leg and knee but mostly being pushed off on to the sofa beside me instead. At one point I calmly got up, unlocked the front door telling him I was putting him on the doorstep then I walked back over to him picked him up and walked quite calmly towards the front door, he panicked big time at this prospect and went quiet for about three seconds whilst I shut the door but then started up again immediately even louder this time. I am praying for the strength to see these tantrums through and hoping now he is about to turn four years old they stop altogether although I know this not to be true, I can wish cant I.
On the upside Harvey is now using the big toilet wanting to be "big" and managing it very well. He has wet himself whilst playing though a few times forgetting he needs to go and currently there is virtually a whole washing machine full of clothing from just the last two days just of Harvey's waiting to be hung outside in the sunshine to dry this afternoon.
I have so many things to do, the MHE fibre update is going to have wait yet another day now, I spent all yesterday from around noon until well past five wrapping ebay parcels to go out today. I did so many that by the time some more fibre sold late yesterday evening I had fallen into robotic mode and just automatically got up to wrap the parcel in the kitchen.
Another thing seriously winding me up at the moment is this : on Monday evening the kids were playing outside quietly on our front lawn in the front garden, Carlos's step daughter Aleesha put a twisted up mess of a plait in Imogen's hair, she kept randomly coming up to Imogen and playing with her hair knotting it badly and asking her all sorts of awkward questions like "are you wearing a bra" and "what sort of knickers do you like". Angelica was very very angry when she heard these questions and more of the discussion and went out to ask the girl why she was saying all this stuff. Later when the kids came inside I spent a considerable length of time cuddling Imogen and talking to her about setting personal boundaries trying to get her to come up with a solution to this problem of hair fiddling and sexual with underwear questions other than simply not playing outside any more. It was in interesting discussion, I really want Imogen to handle this one herself and learn to set personal boundaries in the process because if I or Joseph do it the problem will never be fully resolved. This girl is spitting, swearing continuously and generally very badly behaved then suddenly she will come over to Imogen and start fiddling with her hair, what is that all about? its weird to say the least. On the general face of it two girls doing girlie things like hair braiding is not unusual but this girl is not Imogen's friend and spends quite a bit of time actually bullying Imogen and Ivan, arguing with Angelica threatening her with older kids even a man to beat her up the other day. Thankfully Angelica is very quick whitted and has some excellent come backs so I am not worried, she also is a lot more thick skinned then all the other kids, her and Joseph are very similar in that regard which makes me feel secure in the knowledge that Angelica wont fall under the fear from bullying spell from the kids outside ever.
So healthwise, not much happening really, pain in the coccyx area is unchanged and still driving me crazy, my face feels swollen at the moment but my trousers are now falling down so a good sign. Its definitely hormonal mainly due to the change in sleep patterns and the breastfeeds stopping I believe.
House looks like a complete disorganised mess at this week although it isnt, its just how I feel about it and the solicitor is coming over today at 3pm because she has received a letter from the local authority complaints panel about the shower complaint we put in. To be perfectly honest I dont really want to discuss the situation any longer, I just want the bath taken away and a shower put in in its place so that I can walk in there when ever I need or want to and wash myself. I fed up of discussing it now, action is most definitely needed instead.
The new seedlings and salad seeds are doing really well in the garden, it rained on and off for the last two days but remained quite warm so everything has sprouted which is very exciting.
The holiday fund is coming along nicely after we had to use the money from the sale of the wheelchair last week, I felt so cheated by having to do that but needs must and all that. Thankfully all the grown out of clothing and unwanted good quality items sold well on ebay so the money is going to be very useful for the holiday fund. I have decided to just draw it all out when the people have finished paying this week and just put it away and forget about it all until out trip in a few months time. I am very good at saving but at the moment with money being so low coming in its been a bit stressful and difficult to manage. The boys graduate in just under three weeks time so no more 80 miles a day journeys for them and my husband, that will cut back on fuel bills and our carbon footprint considerably, we are all looking forward to the day when this all stops as its been great but a lot of sacrifices have been made for them to do their course for the last two years so we are all looking forward to getting back to doing things together with the kids ourselves. Once the boys leave home in the summer to start university things will be very different around here that's for sure. I will miss them tremendously but both of them will only be an hour away which I am sure we can manage every couple of weeks to a month to see them.
Knitting continues and is going well, I have made lots of progress with the secret uni project, the new design in the Vive la Différence! (loom knit) series is almost finished I just need to check through it and add photographs once I have finished knitting the garment and I also started a Jane's Shawl by Renee Van Hoy which is a take on the shawl that Jane Eyre wears in the new movie
This is Renee's brilliantly put together loom knitted version
and this is Jane Eyre in the movie wearing her own one.
I converted the loom knitting pattern for needle knitters last week and its been extremely popular as well as encouraging more people to look at loom knitting as an alternative as well which is also fantastic news.
Also in the pipeline I have a cable project getting ready for publishing maybe next month, I feel extremely excited about this one as it will be my first published cable pattern for the looms. Not going to share anything about this one because I may submit it for publishing in print, not sure yet will wait and see then decide properly once its finished.
Still havent made that hair appointment for today or tomorrow but I will be doing that within the next couple of days, I really feel too drained to get that sorted for today.
The big spinning news is that I managed to do quite a bit over the last two days in my hyperactive mode, I went all the way down the bobbin and back up again too. This made me feel very proud of myself. Paid for it in spades with the pain in my coccyx region sitting for so long though but feel it was well worth it as I cant wait wait to see these two gorgeous batts spun into yarn finally, it already feels like they have taken absolutely ages to spin and I am only half way through the first one still.
Mysterions by KnittyAndColor
Finally I want to share with you my thoughts on the house. Since 2006 I have looked for what they call a "Social Landlord House Exchange " but to no avail. Stopped looking during 2007 to 2009 but picked it up again last year. A few possibilities presented themselves during the past eighteen months or so but for various reasons we have not seriously followed them through or the other parties have pulled out of talks once they have gone quite far into the process which was disappointing. In the summer of 09 there was the very big possibility of us moving to a bigger house, everything was put in place except signing the paperwork then the other couple pulled out leaving us feeling quite disappointed and upset so we gave up for a while. However, my yearn to move has not changed and now I am on the search again having made a list of positives and negatives, for against the relocation to a completely different area altogether or staying put in the north east region. With the boys leaving home this summer it kind of opens up a whole new world of opportunity for us as we will no longer require a massive house with four or five bedrooms and can start to look at Victorian three bedroom properties with garden and separate dining room. Last night the virgin media internet connection was really playing up finally going off completely around midnight so this morning we have switched to the free sky broadband which came with the tv package last year, we have only used it a handful of times but the virgin one seems to be really dreadful a connection at the moment so we might switch. More on that one later we havent decided yet, we've been with the virgin broadband for ten years but the company has gone completely downhill since their call center is now answered in India making the phone calls when something goes wrong impossible to manage effectively. So I will carry on looking at the houses online in a bit now that my connection will actually load the images quickly. I hope that we can sit down and thrash out the pros and cons of moving together because it takes a hell of a lot of energy to sort through the ads online waiting for the right sounding place and making contact etc with the people to see if they are serious or just testing the water and I dont want to do all of that unless I know for sure this is something that everyone wants not just me.
Imogen is washing up now so I better go help her in the kitchen, the boys are rolling around on the carpet laughing their heads off, a pleasant and welcome change from the tantrums earlier.
This is day and night seven without Harvey breastfeeding. He naturally stopped on his own I havent instigated this but now its gone through a week without any I want it to continue. My left breast hurts a lot and with not being able to climb into the shower to run warm water over it, its presenting a little problem for me today as its niggling away and he asked for some, must have been able to smell the milk or just feel the connection.
The large parcel of dancewear shoes and tights arrived today minus Harvey's tap shoes. Oh dear, this resulted in 42 minutes and 37 seconds of him screaming in my ear sitting half on my leg and knee but mostly being pushed off on to the sofa beside me instead. At one point I calmly got up, unlocked the front door telling him I was putting him on the doorstep then I walked back over to him picked him up and walked quite calmly towards the front door, he panicked big time at this prospect and went quiet for about three seconds whilst I shut the door but then started up again immediately even louder this time. I am praying for the strength to see these tantrums through and hoping now he is about to turn four years old they stop altogether although I know this not to be true, I can wish cant I.
On the upside Harvey is now using the big toilet wanting to be "big" and managing it very well. He has wet himself whilst playing though a few times forgetting he needs to go and currently there is virtually a whole washing machine full of clothing from just the last two days just of Harvey's waiting to be hung outside in the sunshine to dry this afternoon.
I have so many things to do, the MHE fibre update is going to have wait yet another day now, I spent all yesterday from around noon until well past five wrapping ebay parcels to go out today. I did so many that by the time some more fibre sold late yesterday evening I had fallen into robotic mode and just automatically got up to wrap the parcel in the kitchen.
Another thing seriously winding me up at the moment is this : on Monday evening the kids were playing outside quietly on our front lawn in the front garden, Carlos's step daughter Aleesha put a twisted up mess of a plait in Imogen's hair, she kept randomly coming up to Imogen and playing with her hair knotting it badly and asking her all sorts of awkward questions like "are you wearing a bra" and "what sort of knickers do you like". Angelica was very very angry when she heard these questions and more of the discussion and went out to ask the girl why she was saying all this stuff. Later when the kids came inside I spent a considerable length of time cuddling Imogen and talking to her about setting personal boundaries trying to get her to come up with a solution to this problem of hair fiddling and sexual with underwear questions other than simply not playing outside any more. It was in interesting discussion, I really want Imogen to handle this one herself and learn to set personal boundaries in the process because if I or Joseph do it the problem will never be fully resolved. This girl is spitting, swearing continuously and generally very badly behaved then suddenly she will come over to Imogen and start fiddling with her hair, what is that all about? its weird to say the least. On the general face of it two girls doing girlie things like hair braiding is not unusual but this girl is not Imogen's friend and spends quite a bit of time actually bullying Imogen and Ivan, arguing with Angelica threatening her with older kids even a man to beat her up the other day. Thankfully Angelica is very quick whitted and has some excellent come backs so I am not worried, she also is a lot more thick skinned then all the other kids, her and Joseph are very similar in that regard which makes me feel secure in the knowledge that Angelica wont fall under the fear from bullying spell from the kids outside ever.
So healthwise, not much happening really, pain in the coccyx area is unchanged and still driving me crazy, my face feels swollen at the moment but my trousers are now falling down so a good sign. Its definitely hormonal mainly due to the change in sleep patterns and the breastfeeds stopping I believe.
House looks like a complete disorganised mess at this week although it isnt, its just how I feel about it and the solicitor is coming over today at 3pm because she has received a letter from the local authority complaints panel about the shower complaint we put in. To be perfectly honest I dont really want to discuss the situation any longer, I just want the bath taken away and a shower put in in its place so that I can walk in there when ever I need or want to and wash myself. I fed up of discussing it now, action is most definitely needed instead.
The new seedlings and salad seeds are doing really well in the garden, it rained on and off for the last two days but remained quite warm so everything has sprouted which is very exciting.
The holiday fund is coming along nicely after we had to use the money from the sale of the wheelchair last week, I felt so cheated by having to do that but needs must and all that. Thankfully all the grown out of clothing and unwanted good quality items sold well on ebay so the money is going to be very useful for the holiday fund. I have decided to just draw it all out when the people have finished paying this week and just put it away and forget about it all until out trip in a few months time. I am very good at saving but at the moment with money being so low coming in its been a bit stressful and difficult to manage. The boys graduate in just under three weeks time so no more 80 miles a day journeys for them and my husband, that will cut back on fuel bills and our carbon footprint considerably, we are all looking forward to the day when this all stops as its been great but a lot of sacrifices have been made for them to do their course for the last two years so we are all looking forward to getting back to doing things together with the kids ourselves. Once the boys leave home in the summer to start university things will be very different around here that's for sure. I will miss them tremendously but both of them will only be an hour away which I am sure we can manage every couple of weeks to a month to see them.
Knitting continues and is going well, I have made lots of progress with the secret uni project, the new design in the Vive la Différence! (loom knit) series is almost finished I just need to check through it and add photographs once I have finished knitting the garment and I also started a Jane's Shawl by Renee Van Hoy which is a take on the shawl that Jane Eyre wears in the new movie
This is Renee's brilliantly put together loom knitted version
and this is Jane Eyre in the movie wearing her own one.
I converted the loom knitting pattern for needle knitters last week and its been extremely popular as well as encouraging more people to look at loom knitting as an alternative as well which is also fantastic news.
Also in the pipeline I have a cable project getting ready for publishing maybe next month, I feel extremely excited about this one as it will be my first published cable pattern for the looms. Not going to share anything about this one because I may submit it for publishing in print, not sure yet will wait and see then decide properly once its finished.
Still havent made that hair appointment for today or tomorrow but I will be doing that within the next couple of days, I really feel too drained to get that sorted for today.
The big spinning news is that I managed to do quite a bit over the last two days in my hyperactive mode, I went all the way down the bobbin and back up again too. This made me feel very proud of myself. Paid for it in spades with the pain in my coccyx region sitting for so long though but feel it was well worth it as I cant wait wait to see these two gorgeous batts spun into yarn finally, it already feels like they have taken absolutely ages to spin and I am only half way through the first one still.
Mysterions by KnittyAndColor
Finally I want to share with you my thoughts on the house. Since 2006 I have looked for what they call a "Social Landlord House Exchange " but to no avail. Stopped looking during 2007 to 2009 but picked it up again last year. A few possibilities presented themselves during the past eighteen months or so but for various reasons we have not seriously followed them through or the other parties have pulled out of talks once they have gone quite far into the process which was disappointing. In the summer of 09 there was the very big possibility of us moving to a bigger house, everything was put in place except signing the paperwork then the other couple pulled out leaving us feeling quite disappointed and upset so we gave up for a while. However, my yearn to move has not changed and now I am on the search again having made a list of positives and negatives, for against the relocation to a completely different area altogether or staying put in the north east region. With the boys leaving home this summer it kind of opens up a whole new world of opportunity for us as we will no longer require a massive house with four or five bedrooms and can start to look at Victorian three bedroom properties with garden and separate dining room. Last night the virgin media internet connection was really playing up finally going off completely around midnight so this morning we have switched to the free sky broadband which came with the tv package last year, we have only used it a handful of times but the virgin one seems to be really dreadful a connection at the moment so we might switch. More on that one later we havent decided yet, we've been with the virgin broadband for ten years but the company has gone completely downhill since their call center is now answered in India making the phone calls when something goes wrong impossible to manage effectively. So I will carry on looking at the houses online in a bit now that my connection will actually load the images quickly. I hope that we can sit down and thrash out the pros and cons of moving together because it takes a hell of a lot of energy to sort through the ads online waiting for the right sounding place and making contact etc with the people to see if they are serious or just testing the water and I dont want to do all of that unless I know for sure this is something that everyone wants not just me.
Imogen is washing up now so I better go help her in the kitchen, the boys are rolling around on the carpet laughing their heads off, a pleasant and welcome change from the tantrums earlier.