untitled multichapter fic
I don't have the story finished, so if something written later doesn't add up to this, sorry :(.
Title: None yet
Author: Nathansslut
Pairing/characters: all the boys are here, eventually Nathan/Toki
Rating: PG
Summary: Nathan and Toki discover their feelings
Warnings: Uhm... only mention of child abuse for now. Will change warning as needed
Toki sat bolt upright in bed screaming. The nightmare had been of a particularly sever punishment, even by his parents standards. A seven year old Toki had been very ill and feverish. All he wanted to do was sleep, but it was Sunday, and church services could not be skipped. Unfortunately fifteen minutes into the service, the very ill child couldn't keep his eyes open, and fell into a deep sickness induced sleep. His parents were furious and held no sympathy or mercy for him just because he was ill.
Toki laid back down willing his heart to calm. He looked at the clock and groaned. 3:03am... he wasn't sleeping again tonight, not here, not alone. He considered his options. Lay here, awake, the rest of the night. The next day he would be cranky and irritable, and constantly snapping at his band mates. They had practice the next day. That wouldn't work. The way Skwisgaar and he fought could make practice a grating experience anyway, him being an ass due to lack of sleep would just intensify things. No, that would do at all. Besides he was, by nature, a decent guy (being "nice" is too not metal). Yelling at his band mates and anyone else in his path only made him feel worse at the end of the day.
He could go to Skwisgaar's room. That is what he normally did. Skwisgaar never complained, at least not about that, and actually encouraged Toki to seek his comfort on nights like this. For all of their fighting over trivial things, and Skwisgaar's apparent indifference, he cared for Toki as a brother would. He would readily provide confort to the younger man as needed, and if there were fan girls in his room, they were immediately ejected in favor of Toki. The Swede was also the only one who knew the full truth of Tok's childhood. Granted it wasn't hard to take a good guess as to what had happened, thanks to the many scars, but Skwisgaar was the one that had found Toki and took him away from the farm and his parents. Skwisgaar was definitely the safe and familiar choice.
Lately, though, Toki had found himself wishing he could seek comfort from another. Just thoughts of Nathan comforted him greatly. He couldn't really explain why, only that when he was near the singer, he felt safe. But is was more than that. He wanted to be closer to the large man. Wanted to feel his arms around him and that gruff voice saying he was safe, soothing him to sleep. He was held back by fear of Nathans reaction if he dared ask. What if Nathan became upset? Receiving a punch from those large hands would hurt, both physically and emotionally. He wanted Nathan to like him, to be close, but he was too scared to ask. Toki knew that it was most likely because of the way his cold parents had treated him, but he was terrified to seek affection from anyone.
Skwisgaar it would be then. Toki just couldn't risk rejection and resentment by attempting to go to Natan. With Deddybear clutched tight in his arms, Toki left his room heading for the pristine white room of the tall blond. As he approached, he realized he must have screamed louder than he thought. Fan girls were already in the hallway trying to dress as a klokateer urged them towards the door. Inwardly Toki winced. He hoped Skwisgaar had been awake, and that was why he had heard his scream. He hoped he hadn't woken any of his other friends. Once the girls were out of sight he went into his "brothers" room, and fell into an uneasy sleep with his head on Skwisgaar's chest.
Chapter two
Nathan lay starring at his ceiling, Toki's screaming still ringing in his mind. His eyes slid over to his clock; 3:03am. He briefly debated checking on the kid. Sometimes when he woke this late (early?) Toki would just stay in his room, awake the rest of the night. It made him hell to deal with te next day. Rolling onto his side Nathan thought 'Fuck it...if he woke me, he woke Skwisgaar. The Swede's room is closer to Toki's than mine. Let him deal with it.' Nathan's mind wondered as he drifted back to sleep. He thought back to when the band had first met Toki. He briefly felt guilty about not checking on him. He had always wanted to take care of the younger man, protect him, but lately that urge had become something more than friendship required. Nathan stopped that line of thought. He didn't want to think on his feeling right now-refused to.
(AN somewhat: this is pretty much a dream/memory sequence.)
They had held numerous auditions in America and had found no one good, or patient, enough to play rhythm to Skwisgaar's lead. They decided that since he would be working closely with the rhythm player, that Skwisgaar would have final say, and that he may have better luck in Europe. After two months of receiving very discouraging news from the Swede, he finely phoned saying he had found a rhythmist, and was on his way back.
They excitedly awaited the arrival at the airport, anxious to see this new metal player. When they finaaly saw Toki...well disappointed wasn't a strong enough of a word. Apparently young, overly thin, and scared of the other men, Toki peeked at them from behind Skwisgaar. But the seemed so sure, that the band and their manager allowed Toki to settle in a bit before trying to play anything.
Once they finally started practicing, it was obvious Toki was still learning. Skwisgaar would have to show Toki his parts numerous time prior to him playing them, and then the kid would still make glaring mistakes. On more then one occasion Nathan and Charles would have heated "discussions" with the tall Swede about whether or not Toki was the correct person for the group. Skwisgaar was adamant. Yes, he was still learning, but he had potential. He would be good, and he would be fast. Soon. He was sure of it. Whether or not Toki was getting better went unnoticed by anyone except the Swede though. The band was working with the first impression they got; young, skinny, and still learning. They couldn't get past it. He as just a kid damn it! How could he play for Dethklok. The "discussions" became more heated and involved the whole band (minus Toki). Still, Skwisgaar refused to budge. He went so far as to threaten to leave the band himself if they booted Toki. The band felt trapped, and it was creating tension.
One weekend some stupid stuffed suit industry nobody (as the band called him) was having a party. Ofdensen insisted the band attend. The more people who knew them the better, even if they were nobodies. So they went and there was a pool, there was booze, and they weren't too bored. Someone had convinced Toki to get into the pool, and when he removed his shirt the band (except Skwisgaar, who had already seen this site) stared. The Taller Scandinavian quickly engaged the young man in a splash fight, acting like he was pissed his hair got wet, but everyone else was fixated on the scars. Toki's back was a mess of them. While he had been with them for a few months so there were no fresh wounds there were plenty of newer looking scars crossed over od ones. They spread down his arms and under the waist band of his swim trunks. It was apparent that while he may be a "kid", he had been through hell. After that day, with unspoken agreement, the whole band worked to keep Toki with them. They were more patient. Pickles and Murderface would practice with Toki, and the youngster seem to learn better from them. Nathan would often find himself talking to him to calm him when he would become upset and frustrated. Skwisgaar was able to relax and return to his usual arrogant self with the knowledge Toki was finally safe in the band. The tension dissipated, and their music improved.
Title: None yet
Author: Nathansslut
Pairing/characters: all the boys are here, eventually Nathan/Toki
Rating: PG
Summary: Nathan and Toki discover their feelings
Warnings: Uhm... only mention of child abuse for now. Will change warning as needed
Toki sat bolt upright in bed screaming. The nightmare had been of a particularly sever punishment, even by his parents standards. A seven year old Toki had been very ill and feverish. All he wanted to do was sleep, but it was Sunday, and church services could not be skipped. Unfortunately fifteen minutes into the service, the very ill child couldn't keep his eyes open, and fell into a deep sickness induced sleep. His parents were furious and held no sympathy or mercy for him just because he was ill.
Toki laid back down willing his heart to calm. He looked at the clock and groaned. 3:03am... he wasn't sleeping again tonight, not here, not alone. He considered his options. Lay here, awake, the rest of the night. The next day he would be cranky and irritable, and constantly snapping at his band mates. They had practice the next day. That wouldn't work. The way Skwisgaar and he fought could make practice a grating experience anyway, him being an ass due to lack of sleep would just intensify things. No, that would do at all. Besides he was, by nature, a decent guy (being "nice" is too not metal). Yelling at his band mates and anyone else in his path only made him feel worse at the end of the day.
He could go to Skwisgaar's room. That is what he normally did. Skwisgaar never complained, at least not about that, and actually encouraged Toki to seek his comfort on nights like this. For all of their fighting over trivial things, and Skwisgaar's apparent indifference, he cared for Toki as a brother would. He would readily provide confort to the younger man as needed, and if there were fan girls in his room, they were immediately ejected in favor of Toki. The Swede was also the only one who knew the full truth of Tok's childhood. Granted it wasn't hard to take a good guess as to what had happened, thanks to the many scars, but Skwisgaar was the one that had found Toki and took him away from the farm and his parents. Skwisgaar was definitely the safe and familiar choice.
Lately, though, Toki had found himself wishing he could seek comfort from another. Just thoughts of Nathan comforted him greatly. He couldn't really explain why, only that when he was near the singer, he felt safe. But is was more than that. He wanted to be closer to the large man. Wanted to feel his arms around him and that gruff voice saying he was safe, soothing him to sleep. He was held back by fear of Nathans reaction if he dared ask. What if Nathan became upset? Receiving a punch from those large hands would hurt, both physically and emotionally. He wanted Nathan to like him, to be close, but he was too scared to ask. Toki knew that it was most likely because of the way his cold parents had treated him, but he was terrified to seek affection from anyone.
Skwisgaar it would be then. Toki just couldn't risk rejection and resentment by attempting to go to Natan. With Deddybear clutched tight in his arms, Toki left his room heading for the pristine white room of the tall blond. As he approached, he realized he must have screamed louder than he thought. Fan girls were already in the hallway trying to dress as a klokateer urged them towards the door. Inwardly Toki winced. He hoped Skwisgaar had been awake, and that was why he had heard his scream. He hoped he hadn't woken any of his other friends. Once the girls were out of sight he went into his "brothers" room, and fell into an uneasy sleep with his head on Skwisgaar's chest.
Chapter two
Nathan lay starring at his ceiling, Toki's screaming still ringing in his mind. His eyes slid over to his clock; 3:03am. He briefly debated checking on the kid. Sometimes when he woke this late (early?) Toki would just stay in his room, awake the rest of the night. It made him hell to deal with te next day. Rolling onto his side Nathan thought 'Fuck it...if he woke me, he woke Skwisgaar. The Swede's room is closer to Toki's than mine. Let him deal with it.' Nathan's mind wondered as he drifted back to sleep. He thought back to when the band had first met Toki. He briefly felt guilty about not checking on him. He had always wanted to take care of the younger man, protect him, but lately that urge had become something more than friendship required. Nathan stopped that line of thought. He didn't want to think on his feeling right now-refused to.
(AN somewhat: this is pretty much a dream/memory sequence.)
They had held numerous auditions in America and had found no one good, or patient, enough to play rhythm to Skwisgaar's lead. They decided that since he would be working closely with the rhythm player, that Skwisgaar would have final say, and that he may have better luck in Europe. After two months of receiving very discouraging news from the Swede, he finely phoned saying he had found a rhythmist, and was on his way back.
They excitedly awaited the arrival at the airport, anxious to see this new metal player. When they finaaly saw Toki...well disappointed wasn't a strong enough of a word. Apparently young, overly thin, and scared of the other men, Toki peeked at them from behind Skwisgaar. But the seemed so sure, that the band and their manager allowed Toki to settle in a bit before trying to play anything.
Once they finally started practicing, it was obvious Toki was still learning. Skwisgaar would have to show Toki his parts numerous time prior to him playing them, and then the kid would still make glaring mistakes. On more then one occasion Nathan and Charles would have heated "discussions" with the tall Swede about whether or not Toki was the correct person for the group. Skwisgaar was adamant. Yes, he was still learning, but he had potential. He would be good, and he would be fast. Soon. He was sure of it. Whether or not Toki was getting better went unnoticed by anyone except the Swede though. The band was working with the first impression they got; young, skinny, and still learning. They couldn't get past it. He as just a kid damn it! How could he play for Dethklok. The "discussions" became more heated and involved the whole band (minus Toki). Still, Skwisgaar refused to budge. He went so far as to threaten to leave the band himself if they booted Toki. The band felt trapped, and it was creating tension.
One weekend some stupid stuffed suit industry nobody (as the band called him) was having a party. Ofdensen insisted the band attend. The more people who knew them the better, even if they were nobodies. So they went and there was a pool, there was booze, and they weren't too bored. Someone had convinced Toki to get into the pool, and when he removed his shirt the band (except Skwisgaar, who had already seen this site) stared. The Taller Scandinavian quickly engaged the young man in a splash fight, acting like he was pissed his hair got wet, but everyone else was fixated on the scars. Toki's back was a mess of them. While he had been with them for a few months so there were no fresh wounds there were plenty of newer looking scars crossed over od ones. They spread down his arms and under the waist band of his swim trunks. It was apparent that while he may be a "kid", he had been through hell. After that day, with unspoken agreement, the whole band worked to keep Toki with them. They were more patient. Pickles and Murderface would practice with Toki, and the youngster seem to learn better from them. Nathan would often find himself talking to him to calm him when he would become upset and frustrated. Skwisgaar was able to relax and return to his usual arrogant self with the knowledge Toki was finally safe in the band. The tension dissipated, and their music improved.