[log] Looking Glass [Hizashiko and Hinaji]

[hizashiko]

It was interesting, what medical care and good food could do to a person. Though she was still thin (and its possible, would always be) Hizashiko looked far better then she had just a few short months ago. She no longer looked like a diseased, ratty mess or like her bones were in danger of poking out of her skin. Her hair was well kept and looked

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[hizashiko]

Hizashiko didn't say a word, barely moved, as Hinaji seemed to absorb all that she had said. It seemed to be difficult for him and she wondered again what had happened. When he finally shifted and spoke, again unable to meet her eyes, his words made her arch an eyebrow slowly. He told Hiashiko that she hated him? Impossible. And... for Hiashiko to hear that, and to think in turn that her son hated her... she must have been devastated. The next time she saw Nejiko, Hizashiko was going to have to ask (or even beg) her daughter to get her sister in here right away

[hyuuga_hinaji]

Hizashiko's hand on his chin startled him, but Hinaji let her lift his face anyway. It was still hard to meet her eyes, though he tried.

"Was she really happy?" Honestly all Hinaji remembered from his childhood was being pushed towards being the ideal Hyuuga, and being punished for failing that. No matter what Hizashiko said, it was hard to equate the harsh stares and hard words for love. But Hizashiko had no reason to lie to him, he was sure of that.

His shoulders shook and he quickly pulled away from her hand to get his emotions under control. He was already being an inconvenience; he didn't want to embarrass himself further.

"I couldn't meet her expectations, though..." He rubbed at his cheeks, trying to be discreet. "I always loved my mother. It hurt that she always looked so cold. I wanted to make her smile at me. But even though I couldn't...you're sure she doesn't hate me?"

He felt like a child needing reassurance.

[hizashiko]

"Never openly happy- that's not your mother," Hizashiko explained, still watching him. "Public displays of affection never occured, not once. But I believe he made her happy. He loved her as deeply as she loved him. No one quite cared for her the way he did. And they were both very happy to have you. After a few.... painful failures, to have you, nothing made them happier. Neesama was very proud to announce your birth. Just because she was harsh in raising you doesn't mean she didn't care- it was just how we were taught."

White eyes finally lifted off the boy as he tried to discreetly cry. It was uncomfortable, and she wouldn't add to his shame by openly staring and wondering what was up with this child. Really though, there wasn't anything wrong with him. He simply wasn't his mother, like most everyone had expected

[hyuuga_hinaji]

"I've tried to tell her before," he said softly, his voice still thick from the tears he couldn't quite stop. "But the words don't come. They always sound foolish, and I know--I'm afraid she'll laugh them off or reprimand me for them." He smiled a little before letting the expression drop. "...So the bitterness wins out, and I fight with her

[hizashiko]

There was irritation bubbling under Hizashiko's surface that she struggled to control. She very rarely talked this much, and it was the most that she had talked in.... probably fifteen years or so and her throat was starting to hurt a bit. Plus, Hinaji just wasn't seeming to get it. Everytime she gave him a solution, he rebuffed it with a weak arguement based mostly on fear. Of course, he probably had reason to be afraid but it wasn't helping

[hyuuga_hinaji]

Hinaji felt his face heat up at Hizashiko's words. He hadn't even realised he'd fallen back into his old habit of excuses, and that grated more than he realised. Hadn't he been trying to change himself? He thought he'd become stronger by actually beginning to confront his mother, but if he didn't follow through with it he was no different than from before.

"...Thank you, Hizashiko-san." He smiled--albeit weakly--and looked up at her before bowing his head. "You're right. I'm sorry I wasn't understanding before."

He stood slowly and bowed properly, truly grateful. He'd given her trouble and still she helped him. When he came out of the bow he smiled again. "I'm glad you're back, Hizashiko-obasan."

[hizashiko]

"Don't apologize," Hizashiko said dryly. "Just try and do. You're welcome."

Settling back on the bed, she sighed a touch and smiled very faintly to his smile and his bow. "... as am I. Take care, Hinaji-kun."