[log] Looking Glass [Hizashiko and Hinaji]

[hizashiko]

It was interesting, what medical care and good food could do to a person. Though she was still thin (and its possible, would always be) Hizashiko looked far better then she had just a few short months ago. She no longer looked like a diseased, ratty mess or like her bones were in danger of poking out of her skin. Her hair was well kept and looked

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[hyuuga_hinaji]

"I've tried to tell her before," he said softly, his voice still thick from the tears he couldn't quite stop. "But the words don't come. They always sound foolish, and I know--I'm afraid she'll laugh them off or reprimand me for them." He smiled a little before letting the expression drop. "...So the bitterness wins out, and I fight with her."

Although it wasn't always like that. Only recently, since he'd gained more confidence from his team, and after his treatment in Sound, did he actually begin to attempt to confront Hiashiko. He used to be so afraid of her, and so ashamed of himself, that he could barely speak to her outside of a botched training lesson. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so many feelings he'd tried to hide for so many years.

And knowing his mother was cold, knowing that coldness hid her feelings, still didn't entirely help. Hinaji always knew that deep down. The problem was he couldn't relate to that. Everytime he had to hold in what he felt, everytime that Hyuuga mask came up, it hurt. He wondered how his father had managed, if they were so similar.

"...I don't know what to do when I go back. I can't just see her anytime I wish, and now that you're home she's going to be extra busy. Even though you say she cares...I don't know if I can talk to her like this when I do eventually get to see her."

[hizashiko]

There was irritation bubbling under Hizashiko's surface that she struggled to control. She very rarely talked this much, and it was the most that she had talked in.... probably fifteen years or so and her throat was starting to hurt a bit. Plus, Hinaji just wasn't seeming to get it. Everytime she gave him a solution, he rebuffed it with a weak arguement based mostly on fear. Of course, he probably had reason to be afraid but it wasn't helping.

"You have two options, for when you get back," she finally said, arching an eyebrow just slightly. "You can continue to be afraid about telling her, continue to not tell her... and continue to fight with her, which you obviously don't like, and which I'm sure she doesn't like either."

The woman leaned back slightly and softened her voice. "Or, you can force past that fear, go to her, and explain. Tell her you love her. And try and start over again. No, you can't see her anytime you wish- no one can. Me coming home means she could need your support and care more then ever. If you don't think you'll be calm enough, stop by and say you love her, and then go and take time to calm down. If you've come to me to ask questions, then you want to fix it. So do so."

[hyuuga_hinaji]

Hinaji felt his face heat up at Hizashiko's words. He hadn't even realised he'd fallen back into his old habit of excuses, and that grated more than he realised. Hadn't he been trying to change himself? He thought he'd become stronger by actually beginning to confront his mother, but if he didn't follow through with it he was no different than from before.

"...Thank you, Hizashiko-san." He smiled--albeit weakly--and looked up at her before bowing his head. "You're right. I'm sorry I wasn't understanding before."

He stood slowly and bowed properly, truly grateful. He'd given her trouble and still she helped him. When he came out of the bow he smiled again. "I'm glad you're back, Hizashiko-obasan."

[hizashiko]

"Don't apologize," Hizashiko said dryly. "Just try and do. You're welcome."

Settling back on the bed, she sighed a touch and smiled very faintly to his smile and his bow. "... as am I. Take care, Hinaji-kun."