Cookie Cutter Reality...
Richard is defending his behavior towards her to me. I don't even know what to think but I doubt she's lieing to me at all, why would she? Beh. He never did address my question of why she thought I was pregnant. I didn't elaberate and tell him that she said that he straight out told her I had an abortion. :P. My head is all screwed up on what to think about him so ...I'm just not going to try to figure it out. Causes me less concern when I just don't think about it and since it is not directly effecting my life, I really don't need to and can be all "meh" about it. I think I'm only writing about it as a kind of ...log? Possibly. I didn't write about a lot of stuff he did and ways he acted with me when we were dating (yep even with the stuff you guys read there was still more) because I felt like a moron for staying with someone who obviously made me feel like shit. A little ashamed too. Plus, I still saw the guy in him I thought he was capable of being and didn't want others to ...hate him I guess. Going back through my posts a while back though... seemed like entries were missing? I know I posted about Donna taking my antique Sugar bowl outside and how pissed I was that no one respected any one elses stuff there, but I can't find teh entry only me referring to it later. and seemed like I posted several things about Richard being a dick but I don't see that many... LJ server vomited up my entries?
Anyway, enough about that. Molly went to the vet yesterday morning bright and early. They were supposed to call us when we could pick her up, but they never did, we got her this morning. They did the spay and all her vaccinations. She has heartworms :( but they aren't bad enough that we can't keep them in check so she's on Heartguard now. My anxiety started acting up yesterday as it neared their closing time and Paul hadn't txt me to say they called and to get my cousin to bring me to pick her up, then just steady anxious feeling all night and pretty bad going up there this morning. It's like I'm incapable of pushing little silly fears and worries to the side now. I was worried that she might die while they had her. It happens, spaying is a surgery and there is the anesthesia, plus the risk is higher when they are pregnant. I was scared that they'd tell us our dog was dead. I was a kinda upset that we weren't called yesterday, I realize now it's because I wanted her where I could see her and watch after her, I don't trust anyone with her well being, I need to see that she's okay. I don't even like leaving her at the house for a few hours... dear deity, thank you for the fact that I do not want to breed, kid would have to be in a damn bubble. What the hell am I going to do about all of this if everything goes wahooney shaped here and we have to bum places to sleep off of my friends? I've figured out what to do with the ferrets and the Chin, plus my kitty can just stay here till we can get him. Matt said he's watch them if needed, and they are really easy. Izza is kinda temperamental but pretty easy to care for and the ferrets are good with anything that comes their way, plus I guess I worry less because they have cages, they aren't running loose in a house all the time, when they are out they are being watched and when they can't be watched they are safe in the cages. The Kitty is indoor\outdoor, he'd still get fed here till we could get teh kitties, and I just don't spaz as much about something happening. Molly, not so much. Plus how many people would be okay with letting a 45-ish pound dog loose in their house? Even if she's house trained(so long as she gets her walks) and doesn't really get into things. Striking that, who do I know with a yard in first place? Plus I don't even like the idea of leaving her in the fucking yard, all the shit that can go wrong. *head desk* All of the stress I trigger in myself. beh.
I hadn't realized how used to her I'd gotten in the last month and a half until yesterday, when I look at the spot on the floor that she would normally be laying and she just wasn't there. It seemed so wrong that she wasn't, like someone had taken a cookie cutter to my doughy reality and removed that shape.
Cookie Cutter Reality sounds like a cool band name... I should form a sim band by that name... ...once I figure out what freaking combination of crap is causing my game to crash in Doors. I am not convinced that there is no limit to how much custom you can have.
Anyway, enough about that. Molly went to the vet yesterday morning bright and early. They were supposed to call us when we could pick her up, but they never did, we got her this morning. They did the spay and all her vaccinations. She has heartworms :( but they aren't bad enough that we can't keep them in check so she's on Heartguard now. My anxiety started acting up yesterday as it neared their closing time and Paul hadn't txt me to say they called and to get my cousin to bring me to pick her up, then just steady anxious feeling all night and pretty bad going up there this morning. It's like I'm incapable of pushing little silly fears and worries to the side now. I was worried that she might die while they had her. It happens, spaying is a surgery and there is the anesthesia, plus the risk is higher when they are pregnant. I was scared that they'd tell us our dog was dead. I was a kinda upset that we weren't called yesterday, I realize now it's because I wanted her where I could see her and watch after her, I don't trust anyone with her well being, I need to see that she's okay. I don't even like leaving her at the house for a few hours... dear deity, thank you for the fact that I do not want to breed, kid would have to be in a damn bubble. What the hell am I going to do about all of this if everything goes wahooney shaped here and we have to bum places to sleep off of my friends? I've figured out what to do with the ferrets and the Chin, plus my kitty can just stay here till we can get him. Matt said he's watch them if needed, and they are really easy. Izza is kinda temperamental but pretty easy to care for and the ferrets are good with anything that comes their way, plus I guess I worry less because they have cages, they aren't running loose in a house all the time, when they are out they are being watched and when they can't be watched they are safe in the cages. The Kitty is indoor\outdoor, he'd still get fed here till we could get teh kitties, and I just don't spaz as much about something happening. Molly, not so much. Plus how many people would be okay with letting a 45-ish pound dog loose in their house? Even if she's house trained(so long as she gets her walks) and doesn't really get into things. Striking that, who do I know with a yard in first place? Plus I don't even like the idea of leaving her in the fucking yard, all the shit that can go wrong. *head desk* All of the stress I trigger in myself. beh.
I hadn't realized how used to her I'd gotten in the last month and a half until yesterday, when I look at the spot on the floor that she would normally be laying and she just wasn't there. It seemed so wrong that she wasn't, like someone had taken a cookie cutter to my doughy reality and removed that shape.
Cookie Cutter Reality sounds like a cool band name... I should form a sim band by that name... ...once I figure out what freaking combination of crap is causing my game to crash in Doors. I am not convinced that there is no limit to how much custom you can have.