I don't wanna be your bandage if the wound is not mine
So what's been new? Not much really. Same old shit. Sun-Wed work and see family, Thursday-Saturday spend all of my time erasing the memories of work and seeing family. Just been real tired lately. It's not easy trying to run two homes, work full time, have a social life, and still try to find time to meet potential dates. Sometimes I just want to run away by myself and start over somewhere, but then I remember....oh yeah I'm directionally retarded so where the fuck am I gonna go? But besides all that stupid shit I've just been trying to put plans together for the future like Halloween, sex toy party, and chicago trip with work in February. I've been working on my studio with Reflex a lot lately. My computer is fucked up right now though. We put in a new soundcard and it went to shit. So, he's gonna fix it here soon when he has more time and I don't have to be at work the next day. AFter that all i need is a mic stand, mic screen, and a little recording foam and the studio will be complete. I must say it's exciting. The first thing I've been able to get excited about in a long time. It's good to feel something again and not be completely numb. I feel like I don't have emotions anymore. I've been tapped out I think. I don't get sad, i don't get happy, i don't feel anything...i just am these days. Don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing, but I do know it's definitely my defense mechanism against destroying myself. I have to block everything out and not think about shit if I want to survive....otherwise I would've already blown my fucking head off. So, i guess I'll take being emotionless. keep it creamy