still alive and with internet
the swamphouse phone has been down, so i had no way to get a hold of them. it took me about three hours to walk here from tesc. it was drizzling. i walked without a shirt on and got a lot of people to look at me. i should have been advertising for something. i appreciate the light and fast mentality here. your rain attire will eventually become soaked, so why not just wear swimming trunks and sandals? less wet clothing to weigh you down. i am thinking more about writing lyrics for WHOVP to make into songs for me. are you ready for the next number one single? "for anyone that i am trying to impress or anyone who wants to be impressed by me: stop listening. mainly it is an issue of hypocrisy. whatever valid positions that i claim to take will soon be contrasted by my actions. do as i say children. the other reason is that at first i may appear intriguing, this is surely a passing notion and after little time my novelty will wear off, leaving another author who wishes once again to be witty. for anyone who i am trying to impress or who is trying to be impressed by me: stop listening. i will let you down. i will make you hurt. it is a quality of mine to be self-destructive. anyone who stays in my sphere any extended time will be injured. i always wanted to be a vampyre and it has occured to me that i am one. a vampyre by my definition is a being infamous for draining energy from their victims. blood is just an analogy for life energy. i am a vampyre: a leech that will will eat your food, use your house as it's own, remain inconsiderate, and offer nothing in return. my confession of this is not a cry for help or for pity: it instead is a warning to all that cross my path to beware. remain civil but avoid hospitality. please stop listening. i am lame. i lack qualities of hardcore. none will have a good time in my presence. i am a drag. a loser. i can convince myself that something acts against me. i have self-pity. i can acknowledge that death is imminent, but i can not respect life. quit listening so i can die alone. i am not abnormal. i am unique, just like you, just like everyone else. i am normal. i am just like everyone else. why would you want to listen to ordinary ramblings? i know i would not." can that be a song? i want it to be my song. can i get half of the financial earnings once it's on clear channel? everyone is being super nice to me at the swamphouse. someone just gave me a drag on their cigarette. it's one of the roommate's twenty-third birthday. he has been very nice to me as well, even though i have known him the least amount of time. maybe that's why. i don't feel anywhere near as bad as last night. no food in my stomach, but that didn't feel good yesterday, so why should it today? i brought the tea with me. i just couldn't go without it. if only it gave me calories to burn. i get way excited when people respond to my entries. i get off on knowing that these people have been allowed to see what are my conscious thoughts. polarunity is my friend. ooooooooohhhhhhhhh so i have been self-dubbed as the scapegoat to the swamphouse so now hopefully i will receive the abuse that WHOVP denies me. i have needs goddamnit. i want all you can eat chinnese food. i want people to pay me to pay attention to myself on a stage and call it performance art. i want to start a medical practice where WHOVP gives blowjobs and i eat brains. it is such a commitment to listen to horrible music for the purpose of being cynical towards it. it gets old fast. know anyone who listens to andrew wk? i will continue my journal after people go to bed: then i may reign in the only time i can: the night.