Change of Heart (Chapter20/22) - ReitaxRuki
Title: Change of Heart
Chapters: 20/22
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Yaoi, Drama, Romance
Warnings: nothing here yet
Ratings: PG-13/
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Band: the GazettE, Vivid, ScReW
Summary: Uruha has the best of life. Great family, nice friends, and good at almost everything. Aoi, on the other hand, is a talented and genius young man who'll risk everything for his dreams and a chance to escape his miseries. Two opposite world collides, jealousy and hate enveloped the raven one to the other who got everything he wanted. Rivalry took place but soon they'll discover that life played on them and they must live the life of the other.
Disclaimer: I wish but I declined. Many fan girls would try to kill me^^
Comments: REITUKI SPECIAL. HAHAHA!
[ACT 20: Rewind]
Long time ago, I remember I was holding someone’s arm. We walked hand-in-hand through the darkness of the road. Both of our hands were swinging with every step. He’s special to me. I’m special to him. It’s a special relationship. We promised to protect each other and never let go of each other’s hands. It was then I felt the cold wetness running from the opposite hand. It’s red. I looked unto his eyes. My body went to him, locking each other’s lips as we commit our vows to be each other’s light. I softly caressed his soft face and we smiled at each other. How come were on each other’s back right now, walking at the opposite direction? Whose hand was left waiting?
“Forgive me, Ruki…” Ruki slowly focused his sight to the edge of the knife lingering on Reita’s hand down to the dead body lying on the ground.
Ruki was left speechless. Reita only protected him, protected him against his own father. It’s painful to admit that Ruki’s father didn’t like him. It was then the secret of Aoi’s disappearance unfolded. His own father chose Aoi to be his successor. It’s because of his weakness. He didn’t deserve any acceptance that’s why he has to die. It wasn’t clear if that was only the effect of too much alcohol but Ruki knew the fact that after his mother died, no… even before his mother died, his father never loved him but he never thought that he could almost die by his father’s hands. Ruki slowly walked, his shivering feet almost slipped to the ground. His body felt towards Reita who held him tightly, dropping the knife on his hand. Ruki was tainted with the blood of his own father but through that stain, he felt Reita’s warmth covering his whole body.
“Reita… Ruki…” Reno entered and his eyes were widened by what he saw. It’s the boss’s corpse lying on the ground and his young friends were the murderer. “What happened?” he walked closer to the two.
“It’s just what you see Reno,” Reita buried Ruki on his chest. “From now on, we have to protect Ruki. We cannot stumble from now on. It’s because we’ll make Ruki the head of the whole organization.”
Ruki’s eyed widened.
Reno had the most complicated mixture of feelings. There were fear, joy, sadness, disappointment, hesitation, guilt, and madness. A long term of silence outburst as Reno walked to every corner of the room, like an investigator investigating a crime, trying to weigh the circumstances. He hit his head into the wall. Hit it for the second time, the third time and the fourth time with his fist. It was then Reita tapped his shoulders, still holding Ruki on the other hand.
“We should hide the body or throw it somewhere no one could see,” Reno said. “Let’s look for the documents that could help Ruki to strengthen his hold on this organization. I can forge Mr. Matsumoto’s signature and pass everything to Ruki.”
“About the disappearance, I’ll think of an alibi to it,” Reita was too manly that time. “I will protect Ruki no matter what,” and as like a gentleman hiding on a wolf’s clothes, he smiled and wrapped Ruki again within his arms.
“We’re all in this. I won’t leave you guys,” Reno sighed.
All this time, Reita has been my support. He was the one who built me, who strengthened me. He didn’t leave me. He didn’t forget about me. He is my family. Every thing that I went through, I surpassed it all because of him. That’s why that time my greatest fear was losing him.
“We should call Aoi back,” Reita looked at Ruki’s eyes.
“No!” he ran.
We love because we know hate and we hate because we love. It was clear for me that Aoi left us because of me but I blinded myself with a lie that it was just his selfishness. Reason? Actually I didn’t understand it at all. It was just as if his existence is my self-destruction. I wanted him to stay with me but if he would come closer and closer to me, Reita would drift farther to me. I didn’t want it to happen, to be a spectator of Aoi and Reita’s own lives. I wanted someone who’ll always be there for me. It was then I decided to love that young kid who’s buried inside my memory. (Refer to Chapter 10)
“Why are you crying?” I asked the first time we met.
“Okasan… Okasan’s gone…” he cried, his tears continued to flow from his eyes.
I don’t know if that’s just an impulse but I kissed him and he finally stopped sobbing.
He quickly wiped his lips and asked, “Are… are you a gay? Why did you do that?”
“You’re annoying,” I scratched my head, trying to hide the blush on my cheeks. “My mother used to kiss me when I’m crying. When she does, the pain will stop same with my tears.”
“Where is she now?”
“Gone… to the sky…” my heart tried to break me.
“What… does it hurt? Your chest… does it hurt?” he moved closer to me.
“The pain… it won’t go away…” I cried almost helplessly, wishing for the existence that won’t return. “What?” I exclaimed because his lips suddenly touched mine. It’s a wonderful sensation almost comparable with my mother’s comfort.
“Does it still hurt?” he’s so gorgeous.
“It’s different so maybe that’s why… it still burts but… thank you,” finally I smiled because of him.
Then his mother picked him up. She’s crying like that kid. I was jealous because even I would stay here for so long, no one’s going to pick me up and cry for me like his mother. I continued to look at him as his back went smaller and smaller. He turned to me and gave me hope.
“See you again!” we waved at each other.
I remembered that kid whom I met when I was younger. It’s the day after my mother’s funeral. It was Uruha. If ever the time comes when I lost Reita to Aoi, I couldn’t possibly walk anymore. That’s why these feelings, I chose to love a memory of a kid who I might never meet again. At least, he’ll forever exist deep inside me. At least, we won’t ever bid farewell to each other. I buried myself beneath his shadows knowing that I’ll never see his back turning around me.
But unexpectedly…
WE MET.
That’s why I couldn’t let go of him. He’s the imaginary kid I enveloped my life with. It was a lame reason. Because of the fear to be hurt, to be betrayed, to be left, I now suffer a harder situation. I shouldn’t have averted my eyes to my feelings for Reita. If only… If only he told me those words earlier. He should have told me that he loved me back then.
And now, he’s standing on my front. My hands were tied on my seat. He probably planned this and maybe now, Uruha’s with Aoi. I looked up on him, trying to conceal the fear and pain of those possibilities.
“This is kidnapping, you know,” Ruki smiled, like starting a drama with a comedy act.
“Yeah,” Reita answered.
Ruki waited for a follow-up reply but he was disappointed, “So, what do you want? I thought I made it clear for you that we’re nothing more than what we had been. Release me.”
Just like a simple command program, Reita did what he said. He untied Ruki and opened the door for him. The other couldn’t believe that after all the effort of bringing him at that place. Reita would just let him go with an okay expression. I rubbed the marks of the ropes on my hands.
“Did I tie you that tightly?” Reita looked down. “I’m sorry.”
“If you’re going to release me that easily, then why bother bringing me here?”
“Ruki, do you possibly thought that I and Aoi were together?”
Ruki knew that Reita could read through him, “It’s just that, you’re so close, aren’t you? You even helped him escape. It’s not really my fault that I thought that way.”
“The truth is it’s Aoi who told me that you could possibly think of that way and that’s when I realized that you’re already in love with me that time.”
“Who is?” Ruki laughed. He wanted to get away from that awkward moment to avoid any more bitter truths coming out. “You’re imagining things Reita.”
Ruki was stunned with Reita who’s holding him with full strength. The other had been always gentle to him, treating him like a fragile vase, but now Reita could push him towards the wall, tightly gripping on his shoulders, “Then tell me, why did we fall apart? Why did you suddenly walked away from me? It’s just so insane. How could you possibly ignore everything that happened between us?”
Ruki pushed him away, running immediately to the door, he just doesn’t know how to deal with Reita’s words right now, “I love Uruha and that’s just the way it is!”
“No matter how hard you tried to be a deserving son, your father always pushes you away. He doesn’t acknowledge or even give a damn on you. Furthermore, he even tried to erase your existence. That’s why you wanted to be needed, to have someone who’ll fear losing you.”
“Shut up Reita,” Ruki ran to cover Reita’s mouth but Reita was too strong, he immediately grasped Ruki’s wrists in an instant. “Then what’s wrong with it? What’s wrong for being selfish? For being greedy? For wanting to be love?”
“Nothing, what’s wrong is you failed to realize what you already have from the very beginning. I love you Ruki.”
“Fuck you Reita. Fuck you!” Ruki moved away. He would surely leave this time and he swore that he never want to meet Reita ever again.
“Being affected like what you are right now, I know you still love me,” Ruki didn’t dare to look back to Reita again. “Ruki, don’t you think that maybe all this time… you’re just directing your love to a wrong person?”
My tears fell down. My heart raced till I could finally hear my heartbeats. What I couldn’t let go, what I couldn’t possibly afford to lose, am I just directing my love to a wrong person? The busy streets won’t be able to answer me. I called my driver to pick me up. All I want to see is Uruha. I know he’ll be able to clear everything. I just want to be with him, to be needed, to be loved. Reita’s wrong. I don’t need anyone. I just want Uruha.
When they reached his house, Ruki ran to find Uruha. He’s searching and searching. Aoi couldn’t already have him. He noticed a light shining at the tiny space below the door. There’s someone out there. He wiped his tears and walked slowly to the door. He closed his eyes and slowly turned the knob. He keeps wishing Uruha’s there. When he opened his eyes, his heart was torn apart.
“Liar,” Uruha looked at him holding the examination result.
The falling tears became unstoppable.
A/N: You must not go to the next chapter without a comment. HAHAHA!
Chapters: 20/22
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Yaoi, Drama, Romance
Warnings: nothing here yet
Ratings: PG-13/
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Band: the GazettE, Vivid, ScReW
Summary: Uruha has the best of life. Great family, nice friends, and good at almost everything. Aoi, on the other hand, is a talented and genius young man who'll risk everything for his dreams and a chance to escape his miseries. Two opposite world collides, jealousy and hate enveloped the raven one to the other who got everything he wanted. Rivalry took place but soon they'll discover that life played on them and they must live the life of the other.
Disclaimer: I wish but I declined. Many fan girls would try to kill me^^
Comments: REITUKI SPECIAL. HAHAHA!
[ACT 20: Rewind]
Long time ago, I remember I was holding someone’s arm. We walked hand-in-hand through the darkness of the road. Both of our hands were swinging with every step. He’s special to me. I’m special to him. It’s a special relationship. We promised to protect each other and never let go of each other’s hands. It was then I felt the cold wetness running from the opposite hand. It’s red. I looked unto his eyes. My body went to him, locking each other’s lips as we commit our vows to be each other’s light. I softly caressed his soft face and we smiled at each other. How come were on each other’s back right now, walking at the opposite direction? Whose hand was left waiting?
“Forgive me, Ruki…” Ruki slowly focused his sight to the edge of the knife lingering on Reita’s hand down to the dead body lying on the ground.
Ruki was left speechless. Reita only protected him, protected him against his own father. It’s painful to admit that Ruki’s father didn’t like him. It was then the secret of Aoi’s disappearance unfolded. His own father chose Aoi to be his successor. It’s because of his weakness. He didn’t deserve any acceptance that’s why he has to die. It wasn’t clear if that was only the effect of too much alcohol but Ruki knew the fact that after his mother died, no… even before his mother died, his father never loved him but he never thought that he could almost die by his father’s hands. Ruki slowly walked, his shivering feet almost slipped to the ground. His body felt towards Reita who held him tightly, dropping the knife on his hand. Ruki was tainted with the blood of his own father but through that stain, he felt Reita’s warmth covering his whole body.
“Reita… Ruki…” Reno entered and his eyes were widened by what he saw. It’s the boss’s corpse lying on the ground and his young friends were the murderer. “What happened?” he walked closer to the two.
“It’s just what you see Reno,” Reita buried Ruki on his chest. “From now on, we have to protect Ruki. We cannot stumble from now on. It’s because we’ll make Ruki the head of the whole organization.”
Ruki’s eyed widened.
Reno had the most complicated mixture of feelings. There were fear, joy, sadness, disappointment, hesitation, guilt, and madness. A long term of silence outburst as Reno walked to every corner of the room, like an investigator investigating a crime, trying to weigh the circumstances. He hit his head into the wall. Hit it for the second time, the third time and the fourth time with his fist. It was then Reita tapped his shoulders, still holding Ruki on the other hand.
“We should hide the body or throw it somewhere no one could see,” Reno said. “Let’s look for the documents that could help Ruki to strengthen his hold on this organization. I can forge Mr. Matsumoto’s signature and pass everything to Ruki.”
“About the disappearance, I’ll think of an alibi to it,” Reita was too manly that time. “I will protect Ruki no matter what,” and as like a gentleman hiding on a wolf’s clothes, he smiled and wrapped Ruki again within his arms.
“We’re all in this. I won’t leave you guys,” Reno sighed.
All this time, Reita has been my support. He was the one who built me, who strengthened me. He didn’t leave me. He didn’t forget about me. He is my family. Every thing that I went through, I surpassed it all because of him. That’s why that time my greatest fear was losing him.
“We should call Aoi back,” Reita looked at Ruki’s eyes.
“No!” he ran.
We love because we know hate and we hate because we love. It was clear for me that Aoi left us because of me but I blinded myself with a lie that it was just his selfishness. Reason? Actually I didn’t understand it at all. It was just as if his existence is my self-destruction. I wanted him to stay with me but if he would come closer and closer to me, Reita would drift farther to me. I didn’t want it to happen, to be a spectator of Aoi and Reita’s own lives. I wanted someone who’ll always be there for me. It was then I decided to love that young kid who’s buried inside my memory. (Refer to Chapter 10)
“Why are you crying?” I asked the first time we met.
“Okasan… Okasan’s gone…” he cried, his tears continued to flow from his eyes.
I don’t know if that’s just an impulse but I kissed him and he finally stopped sobbing.
He quickly wiped his lips and asked, “Are… are you a gay? Why did you do that?”
“You’re annoying,” I scratched my head, trying to hide the blush on my cheeks. “My mother used to kiss me when I’m crying. When she does, the pain will stop same with my tears.”
“Where is she now?”
“Gone… to the sky…” my heart tried to break me.
“What… does it hurt? Your chest… does it hurt?” he moved closer to me.
“The pain… it won’t go away…” I cried almost helplessly, wishing for the existence that won’t return. “What?” I exclaimed because his lips suddenly touched mine. It’s a wonderful sensation almost comparable with my mother’s comfort.
“Does it still hurt?” he’s so gorgeous.
“It’s different so maybe that’s why… it still burts but… thank you,” finally I smiled because of him.
Then his mother picked him up. She’s crying like that kid. I was jealous because even I would stay here for so long, no one’s going to pick me up and cry for me like his mother. I continued to look at him as his back went smaller and smaller. He turned to me and gave me hope.
“See you again!” we waved at each other.
I remembered that kid whom I met when I was younger. It’s the day after my mother’s funeral. It was Uruha. If ever the time comes when I lost Reita to Aoi, I couldn’t possibly walk anymore. That’s why these feelings, I chose to love a memory of a kid who I might never meet again. At least, he’ll forever exist deep inside me. At least, we won’t ever bid farewell to each other. I buried myself beneath his shadows knowing that I’ll never see his back turning around me.
But unexpectedly…
WE MET.
That’s why I couldn’t let go of him. He’s the imaginary kid I enveloped my life with. It was a lame reason. Because of the fear to be hurt, to be betrayed, to be left, I now suffer a harder situation. I shouldn’t have averted my eyes to my feelings for Reita. If only… If only he told me those words earlier. He should have told me that he loved me back then.
And now, he’s standing on my front. My hands were tied on my seat. He probably planned this and maybe now, Uruha’s with Aoi. I looked up on him, trying to conceal the fear and pain of those possibilities.
“This is kidnapping, you know,” Ruki smiled, like starting a drama with a comedy act.
“Yeah,” Reita answered.
Ruki waited for a follow-up reply but he was disappointed, “So, what do you want? I thought I made it clear for you that we’re nothing more than what we had been. Release me.”
Just like a simple command program, Reita did what he said. He untied Ruki and opened the door for him. The other couldn’t believe that after all the effort of bringing him at that place. Reita would just let him go with an okay expression. I rubbed the marks of the ropes on my hands.
“Did I tie you that tightly?” Reita looked down. “I’m sorry.”
“If you’re going to release me that easily, then why bother bringing me here?”
“Ruki, do you possibly thought that I and Aoi were together?”
Ruki knew that Reita could read through him, “It’s just that, you’re so close, aren’t you? You even helped him escape. It’s not really my fault that I thought that way.”
“The truth is it’s Aoi who told me that you could possibly think of that way and that’s when I realized that you’re already in love with me that time.”
“Who is?” Ruki laughed. He wanted to get away from that awkward moment to avoid any more bitter truths coming out. “You’re imagining things Reita.”
Ruki was stunned with Reita who’s holding him with full strength. The other had been always gentle to him, treating him like a fragile vase, but now Reita could push him towards the wall, tightly gripping on his shoulders, “Then tell me, why did we fall apart? Why did you suddenly walked away from me? It’s just so insane. How could you possibly ignore everything that happened between us?”
Ruki pushed him away, running immediately to the door, he just doesn’t know how to deal with Reita’s words right now, “I love Uruha and that’s just the way it is!”
“No matter how hard you tried to be a deserving son, your father always pushes you away. He doesn’t acknowledge or even give a damn on you. Furthermore, he even tried to erase your existence. That’s why you wanted to be needed, to have someone who’ll fear losing you.”
“Shut up Reita,” Ruki ran to cover Reita’s mouth but Reita was too strong, he immediately grasped Ruki’s wrists in an instant. “Then what’s wrong with it? What’s wrong for being selfish? For being greedy? For wanting to be love?”
“Nothing, what’s wrong is you failed to realize what you already have from the very beginning. I love you Ruki.”
“Fuck you Reita. Fuck you!” Ruki moved away. He would surely leave this time and he swore that he never want to meet Reita ever again.
“Being affected like what you are right now, I know you still love me,” Ruki didn’t dare to look back to Reita again. “Ruki, don’t you think that maybe all this time… you’re just directing your love to a wrong person?”
My tears fell down. My heart raced till I could finally hear my heartbeats. What I couldn’t let go, what I couldn’t possibly afford to lose, am I just directing my love to a wrong person? The busy streets won’t be able to answer me. I called my driver to pick me up. All I want to see is Uruha. I know he’ll be able to clear everything. I just want to be with him, to be needed, to be loved. Reita’s wrong. I don’t need anyone. I just want Uruha.
When they reached his house, Ruki ran to find Uruha. He’s searching and searching. Aoi couldn’t already have him. He noticed a light shining at the tiny space below the door. There’s someone out there. He wiped his tears and walked slowly to the door. He closed his eyes and slowly turned the knob. He keeps wishing Uruha’s there. When he opened his eyes, his heart was torn apart.
“Liar,” Uruha looked at him holding the examination result.
The falling tears became unstoppable.
A/N: You must not go to the next chapter without a comment. HAHAHA!