Backstage Pass (Chapter 3/4) ByouxUruha, AoixUruha
Title: Backstage Pass
Chapters: 3/4
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Yaoi, Smut, Slice of Life
Warnings: usual Yaoi stuffs
Ratings: PG-13/NC-17
Pairings/Characters: ByouxUruha (main), AoiixUruha (one-sided)
Band: the GazettE, ScReW
Summary: I chose to dream more than to love, the pain that was destined to bear fruit. At the back of the grace of thy name, I discard every hope for our eternity. There shouldn’t be another wound to bleed, for every drop of my blood was already drained. Our path should separate from now on. I’m just a moth attracted to that dangerous fire. My wings had already taken off. No one could stop this blooming bud even those promises that once nurtured me.
Disclaimer: This story is purely fiction. Events and characters similar to tru people are purely coincidence especially with Byou and Uruha. *laughs*
Comments: Here is it.
[THIRD SONG: Wailing Wall]
Who would have thought that they could make it this far, that their band would managed to survive after those empty audience seats, low sales, and “unknown talent” they have been. Moving to Tokyo wasn’t really something like an easy token to fame but after for so many years that none of them would even care to count, they managed to climb to the top and marked their name to the music world. Just after their Standing Live Tour 2006 Nameless Liberty Six Guns ended and finally had their first live at Budokan, they still set themselves for work and recording not to mention the magazines featuring them. Surely, they weren’t the same old band they used to be.
It might seem that this is an all-ends-well story but below the veil of success, Aoi knows what’s hiding underneath the seeming perfect and seductive guitarist smiling on his front. They were on an interview for a magazine and it was Ruki’s turn to answer those questions, personal or not, he is good with those inspiring stuffs anyway. Aoi’s hands smoothly run to Uruha’s sensitive part, making the latter stare at him with surprise. Fortunately, they’re good at hiding it, avoiding any eyes that were looking for a good expose. Uruha returned him a warm smile but his empty eyes didn’t change. Their brilliance didn’t come back even after Yune already disappeared. Aoi directed his gaze to Kai as he visualized the usual Uruha behind the camera, the usual person he often sees on his bathroom at the middle of the night for who knows since when it actually started.
♪ Smashed ideals, stolen hopes, why does it happen to me over and over? At this point the forgotten tears, faded smiles can no longer be resurrected. ♪
“Oi, Uruha’s missing again!” Reita banged on Aoi’s room last night.
“Ah, calm down Reita. What time do you think it is? Uruha said he’s going somewhere but he’s definitely going to return tomorrow. We have an important interview, don’t you remember?” Aoi seemed to be carefree as usual. “But why are you looking for him anyway?” he teased.
“Don’t give any meaning to it jerk! I just thought of watching a movie or something but I found him gone on his room so I… worried. The last time it happened was when… you know… he almost killed himself.”
Aoi knew what he was talking about, “Uruha isn’t that stupid to repeat the same mistake twice. He just went off somewhere. He’ll be fine. Now go asleep!” he pushed Reita off his room. “He called me so don’t worry. Go to Ruki. He might be interested to watch a movie tonight.”
“Okay, I understand,” Aoi could read the despair on Reita’s eyes. “I really care about him as a friend. I wish he would open up his heart even a little for us,” his voice seemed to fade every time he uttered more words. “Hey Aoi, do you think he still hasn’t recovered for what Yune had done to him?”
“Reita, even I… I don’t know what’s on his mind,” Aoi closed the door. His palm smoothly slid on his face to his hair, slightly pulling it. He took a deep sigh before making any step deeper to his room. He knew for himself where the topic is right now. He don’t know why he lied, maybe he didn’t want anyone to see Uruha as pitiful as he always sees him. He didn’t want anyone to know that Uruha’s been taking drugs and constantly hungry for sex. Any of the assumptions might be true or maybe he knew for himself that he didn’t know any reason. He just wanted to have something of Uruha that only his sole self knew.
Aoi carefully opened the door to his bathroom, avoiding any sound that might interrupt the sleeping man on his bathtub. The first time he saw Uruha, it was really a shock but after those repeating times, he became acquainted with it. Lately, it even seemed stranger not to find him inside. He kneeled down, hanging his one arm to the side of the tub while his fingers sweetly trailed the outline of Uruha’s face. His closed eyes, his lips, his breath, Aoi memorized them all. He doesn’t know for himself why out of all those people in the building, Uruha would come to him. Aoi cupped the angel’s face and gently played with his hair.
♪We can’t return to that time. ♪
“Open your eyes my sleeping beauty,” Aoi kissed his lips.
Maybe he isn’t Uruha’s prince after all so the other just won’t wake up. He smiled and laughed at himself every time he does the same routine. He ended up carrying the other and laid him on his bed. Then Uruha’s body would cling to slight comfort, too different from the skimpy tub that Uruha loves to fix himself. Aoi then would choose whether to button the loose cloth of Uruha whose pink nipples were slightly exposed for him to fetish or to unbutton the remaining for him to have a better look and savor the other. He could choose but the latter is the one often happening not because he decided to but the victim forced him to continue.
“I love… your bathtub, Aoi,” Uruha moaned making the other aware that he’s already awake. “But I love the bed too… I can’t decide, you know.”
Aoi laughed though his heart only knew sorrow for the one next to him, “It’s not like you can have one of them!” Aoi took a deeper look on Uruha. He gently caressed the other’s face, “What are we Uruha? Why did you choose me?”
Uruha laughed. “Out of all of those people, I choose Aoi…” he wasn’t able to continue because Aoi suddenly pressed his lips against his.
“Liar, it’s not like you choose me. I know it’s plainly…random, isn’t it?” Aoi had the most confused eyes. “Won’t you… stop the drugs? I mean, it won’t do you any good and…”
“Fine,”
“Eh?”
“I said fine. I’ll stop if that’s what you want me to do. I probably can’t say no to you…” Uruha suddenly pulled Aoi’s shirt.
“Sex, who do you think of when you have sex with me? Is it to forget about Yune or… is it to remember… Kojima?” Aoi positioned himself between Uruha’s legs.
“Which one is it…? I wonder which one is it…” Uruha was supposed to kiss Aoi when the latter suddenly tilted his face. “Are you angry?” Uruha asked.
“It’s not like that… maybe… you’re just doing this for the bathtub…” Aoi trailed every inch of muscle on Uruha’s body. Aoi started teasing Uruha by licking every weak spot on him. “I won’t give it to you no matter what anyway…”
“Aoi, don’t leave me, I’m afraid of being alone,” Uruha wouldn’t look at the other though he managed to continue his words. “Something like this won’t work out? Why am I so fond of you, I wonder?” he laughed then back to his former expression of guilt or maybe despair.
“Let’s figure out every question we have together?”
“But, I already had forgotten, every reason for my breath, I already had forgotten.”
You, with that mellow expression, who continued to pull me into deep darkness, I want to do something for you, to keep your very soul from being devoured. But what could I do? This desire, your lust is my pressure, as I started to take notice of them the more I wanted you to drown from that darkness. If so, you’ll forever cling unto me, this little possessiveness would harm both of us one day but…
“Aoi, if you’ll keep this up, people would notice,” Uruha tried to keep his voice down when Aoi cornered him in an empty room after the interview.
“It’s fine, it’s not like we’re hiding it or something,” Aoi’s hands traveled under Uruha’s pants. “Remove it. I can’t play with you properly.”
“Aoi, this is dangerous, we can’t…” Uruha noticed the other’s eyes. It’s deep but calm that left him no choice but to do what he wanted. He loosened his belt and the denim slowly slid through his legs. Aoi smiled lightly and started to remove Uruha’s shirt. Almost naked, Aoi started to touch him all over his sweet spots, licking every tickling place. Uruha found it hard to suppress his moans.
Uruha brought out his soul. Aoi’s warmth seemed to burn him. Aoi let him sat at a make-up table and spread his legs while Uruha’s chin leaned into his shoulders. Lust left traces on their necks as their tongues danced with one another unable to recognize any sense of reason. The river of sweat that made their body sparkled into delight as Aoi entered him. The feeling was sweet but then those memories were bitter. Uruha’s scars were too deep. The nightmare of abuse won’t allow him to wake up from a deep dream that even Aoi couldn’t wake him up. Aoi felt the wetness on his cheeks. He slowly departed himself to the other’s body that was in shock for the moment. Did he disappoint Aoi again? Uruha could only ask himself. He knew what the other feels and Aoi doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. He shook and apologized. Uruha wiped his tears and when he was about to apologize once again, Aoi intertwined his hand with him and a soft kiss landed into his lips.
“Forget it, I’ll protect you,” Aoi smiled.
♪ No matter what words or what thoughts, a closed heart that won’t accept them, if I sleep eternally will someone notice this pain? ♪
Surprisingly, a door opened. Aoi immediately covered Uruha. He embraced him tightly as if someone was about to abduct him. He turned back to see who just broke their sweet illusion. Ah, it’s only THAT band. They signed up at PSC two years ago. They’re the two guitarists of ScReW. If he wasn’t that forgetful, he might remember their real names. He just spoke to them as Manabu and Kazuki.
“Ah, sorry for barging in, so this is your make-up room? Would you give us a second and we’re about to leave too?” Aoi spoke naturally.
“Yeah,” the two who were shock to see what they mustn’t went out and closed the door. Both of them didn’t expect that some fan services are real.
“Oi, you two seem to see a ghost. Why didn’t you enter?” Jin teased.
“Ah, don’t enter!” Manabu tried to stop Byou. “There are two people inside and…”
“What the heck? It’s our room, right? Then they should leave, why we’re not allowed to enter?”
“No, it’s not like that…” Kazuki helped Manabu.
Byou continued and when he was about to turn the knob, it opened from inside and two people passed at his front, “Sorry for barging in,” Aoi said without stopping his steps. He’s holding Uruha’s hand.
Uruha was embarrassed and he could only look down. He didn’t notice the close man, he just passed by. He heard about the band from Aoi but didn’t have the chance to see them. Yes, it was possible that they never met even though they were signed at the same company for two years. It was possible if you’re like Uruha who always keep himself locked at his own solitude, not caring for the world outside his wall.
“Kouyou…” Uruha heard his name escaped from the man’s lips.
He turned back and finally recognized the figure of the man who’s not a stranger to him, “Why… Kojima…”
Aoi won’t give Uruha enough time to understand the things that were brought up to his front. He furiously pulled him away and caged him to his own room. He won’t let the other cling back to the man he used to love and he’s aware that even now, Uruha has a place on his heart for him.
“You know it, didn’t you? That’s Kojima, isn’t it? Aoi, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me he’s here? I have to go back. I have to…” Aoi didn’t let him go. He threw Uruha on his bed. He’s stronger and he’s willing to use that advantage to possess the other.
“We have to work on a song so stay here. I’ll prepare some drinks,”
“Aoi… why are you doing this?” Uruha stood up and forced himself to get out but Aoi tied him with his body. It’s a chain he couldn’t escape.
“What will you do? If I had told you that he’s here in Tokyo, what have you done, Uruha? Tell me! Will you leave me? After all I’ve done, after I saved you from Yune, after I brought Kai here, you’ll just discard me like that?”
“Please don’t discard me…”
“I… I don’t know. Aoi… help me… Please save me…” Uruha cried on Aoi.
“Yeah, just like that. Embrace me, need me,” Aoi kissed him.
They both lie in the bed. Aoi was sitting and Uruha’s on his lap. The lights were turned off as they looked at the scenery at his room’s window. The busy city of Tokyo they lived in doesn’t change no matter how many years passed them by.
“I love your bed so much but your lap is more comfortable…” Uruha fell asleep.
♪ The stars of the night sky that bloom in the darkness are rubbish. Light melts into dry eyes, toward a dizzy, unstable world…♪
After the concert live, Byou and his band went out for pizza. They’re in their normal and stupid conversation and usual stuffs like they used to be except that Byou seemed like an empty shell that time. It wasn’t a secret neither something needed to be hidden. Even from the start, Byou’s open to them just like real brothers. They’re fully aware of his feelings and his relationship with Uruha. They tried to lessen the pain but Byou won’t even smile at them. Kazuki has no other option but to confront the issue.
“We can’t continue like this. Byou, we came here as a band. Uruha already reached something while we… we’re just starting, you know. That’s why we have to do our best to catch up…”
“I know. I’m not going to be a burden.”
“No, it’s not like that! I just want you to realize that we’re on the same company. There would be a time that we’re going to meet on the same stage. What I am saying is, better clear things that are needed to be cleared and end the things needed to be ended.”
Byou stood up of annoyance, “Oh I see! Then I’ll end it!”
Kazuki didn’t see Byou the next morning. He didn’t attend the band practice. He secretly had a contact to Aoi. From what he heard, it seemed like Byou didn’t contact Uruha either. If that’s the case, then that’s good as long as Byou wouldn’t lose himself, the two bands would continue to be active. So what happened to Miyagi? Why isn’t he doing something? No one noticed that the bassist has something on his mind, something that no one really had predicted. He’s on his limitation that’s what he thought as he looked at his trembling right hand.
No matter how Byou became essential to his past, Uruha couldn’t abandon his present. He couldn’t leave Aoi. That’s why he chose to live his normal life. He’s not alone anymore. He has a bond called a family which he found in the GazettE. Just like that time, he must choose the band over Byou. He’s used to it. It’s clear for him but why does it hurt so much? Uruha wouldn’t know and he might not easily find the answer. Instead of thinking and searching recklessly for those reasons, he must move forward, move closer to his dream…
“Room 417, I’ll be waiting.”
Uruha immediately packed his things after reading the txt message. He didn’t even tell anyone where he’s going nor even looked at Aoi.
♪With one’s back to the wall, fear to the death and regrets to the life, in dazzling morning, I can say good-bye. Hey tell me, something to shake and ignite my heartbeat, to the brave new world for the Wailing Wall. ♪
He continued to run. He didn’t even asked who is it or how did he get his number but he knew from his heart that this is the message he had been waiting. He got there within few minutes. It wasn’t that far away. Before twisting the knob, there’s a slight hesitation but he’s there. More than thinking of the things that might happen, he’s there isn’t he? That’s what he thought as he entered the room and saw the man sitting in front of him, just like in the drama movie. He’s just there sitting, sitting and staring at him. Uruha closed the door and leaned on it as he forced a smile as if he’s meeting a long time friend which he never had a bitter memory.
“You see Kojima… I… I had a dream last night. Yune… I’ve always dreamed about him and the time he forced me to… It’s all because of the band even though I know how much I’m betraying you by spending the nights with him. I’m the worst, right? But you see, Kojima, yesterday… it’s different. I have Aoi and we just play the guitar and… we’re really happy…” Uruha’s forced to continue even though his tears were about to burst out.
“Yeah, you’re happy…” Byou smiled.
“Ruki too… Reita too… and Kai, all of us are happy. Even the audience was singing with us.”
“Yeah, that’s good.”
“We’re really happy and this becomes my world and I… I didn’t… see Kojima there…” Uruha fell on his knees. “Kojima… seemed so far… I couldn’t see you…”
♪The flowers in the empty sky that scatter in the brilliant light are fleeting. The damp eyes are swallowed by the darkness toward a dizzy, unstable world…♪
“Kojima wasn’t there for me anymore. You… you have your own world now.”
“Do you think I am doing fine in that world without you, Uruha?”
“This distance we have right now is just like how is it. We’re both at the ends of two opposite walls. In the future, we really have to separate. I have the GazettE. You have ScReW. That’s how it is, isn’t it? We two have different worlds.” Uruha stood up and was about to leave when Byou suddenly embraced him from behind.
“Is it okay if I say what I'm feeling right now?” Byou’s voice was like a calming song on Uruha’s ears. “I don't know what's going to happen in the future but what I'm feeling right now is 100% not a lie. I can say that with confidence.”
“Kojima… don’t…”
“I wasn’t there when Yune did those to you. I wasn’t able to protect you. I wasn’t there when you’re suffering neither when you’re happy. I won’t blame you if you’ll think Aoi is more reliable than me but one day, maybe I'll be able to help. No matter how many times you push me away, I’ll stay. Even if you told me that you didn’t need me anymore, I’ll be here. I may not be with you in the future you imagine, but I’ll be always at your side and you can count in that. Things can't be the same as they were before, but there's this kind of feeling that's linking us together. I don't think that we're living in different worlds. I, with regards to you... I love you. I love you, you hear that?”
“But…”
“Did you hear that?”
“Th-thank you,” Uruha faced him and he wrapped his arms to the other. “Thank you. As I thought, that time, Kojima… is waiting for me at the backstage.”
“That’s stupid,” Kojima held him tighter. “Why I’ll be waiting for you at the backstage? Who do you think you are?”
♪With one’s back to the wall, fear to the death and regrets to the life, in dazzling morning, I can say good-bye. Hey, tell me, something to shake and ignite my heartbeat to the brave new world for the Wailing Wall. ♪
A/N: Comment. Next might be Change of Heart.
Chapters: 3/4
Author: mypaperdoll1611
Genre: Yaoi, Smut, Slice of Life
Warnings: usual Yaoi stuffs
Ratings: PG-13/NC-17
Pairings/Characters: ByouxUruha (main), AoiixUruha (one-sided)
Band: the GazettE, ScReW
Summary: I chose to dream more than to love, the pain that was destined to bear fruit. At the back of the grace of thy name, I discard every hope for our eternity. There shouldn’t be another wound to bleed, for every drop of my blood was already drained. Our path should separate from now on. I’m just a moth attracted to that dangerous fire. My wings had already taken off. No one could stop this blooming bud even those promises that once nurtured me.
Disclaimer: This story is purely fiction. Events and characters similar to tru people are purely coincidence especially with Byou and Uruha. *laughs*
Comments: Here is it.
[THIRD SONG: Wailing Wall]
Who would have thought that they could make it this far, that their band would managed to survive after those empty audience seats, low sales, and “unknown talent” they have been. Moving to Tokyo wasn’t really something like an easy token to fame but after for so many years that none of them would even care to count, they managed to climb to the top and marked their name to the music world. Just after their Standing Live Tour 2006 Nameless Liberty Six Guns ended and finally had their first live at Budokan, they still set themselves for work and recording not to mention the magazines featuring them. Surely, they weren’t the same old band they used to be.
It might seem that this is an all-ends-well story but below the veil of success, Aoi knows what’s hiding underneath the seeming perfect and seductive guitarist smiling on his front. They were on an interview for a magazine and it was Ruki’s turn to answer those questions, personal or not, he is good with those inspiring stuffs anyway. Aoi’s hands smoothly run to Uruha’s sensitive part, making the latter stare at him with surprise. Fortunately, they’re good at hiding it, avoiding any eyes that were looking for a good expose. Uruha returned him a warm smile but his empty eyes didn’t change. Their brilliance didn’t come back even after Yune already disappeared. Aoi directed his gaze to Kai as he visualized the usual Uruha behind the camera, the usual person he often sees on his bathroom at the middle of the night for who knows since when it actually started.
♪ Smashed ideals, stolen hopes, why does it happen to me over and over? At this point the forgotten tears, faded smiles can no longer be resurrected. ♪
“Oi, Uruha’s missing again!” Reita banged on Aoi’s room last night.
“Ah, calm down Reita. What time do you think it is? Uruha said he’s going somewhere but he’s definitely going to return tomorrow. We have an important interview, don’t you remember?” Aoi seemed to be carefree as usual. “But why are you looking for him anyway?” he teased.
“Don’t give any meaning to it jerk! I just thought of watching a movie or something but I found him gone on his room so I… worried. The last time it happened was when… you know… he almost killed himself.”
Aoi knew what he was talking about, “Uruha isn’t that stupid to repeat the same mistake twice. He just went off somewhere. He’ll be fine. Now go asleep!” he pushed Reita off his room. “He called me so don’t worry. Go to Ruki. He might be interested to watch a movie tonight.”
“Okay, I understand,” Aoi could read the despair on Reita’s eyes. “I really care about him as a friend. I wish he would open up his heart even a little for us,” his voice seemed to fade every time he uttered more words. “Hey Aoi, do you think he still hasn’t recovered for what Yune had done to him?”
“Reita, even I… I don’t know what’s on his mind,” Aoi closed the door. His palm smoothly slid on his face to his hair, slightly pulling it. He took a deep sigh before making any step deeper to his room. He knew for himself where the topic is right now. He don’t know why he lied, maybe he didn’t want anyone to see Uruha as pitiful as he always sees him. He didn’t want anyone to know that Uruha’s been taking drugs and constantly hungry for sex. Any of the assumptions might be true or maybe he knew for himself that he didn’t know any reason. He just wanted to have something of Uruha that only his sole self knew.
Aoi carefully opened the door to his bathroom, avoiding any sound that might interrupt the sleeping man on his bathtub. The first time he saw Uruha, it was really a shock but after those repeating times, he became acquainted with it. Lately, it even seemed stranger not to find him inside. He kneeled down, hanging his one arm to the side of the tub while his fingers sweetly trailed the outline of Uruha’s face. His closed eyes, his lips, his breath, Aoi memorized them all. He doesn’t know for himself why out of all those people in the building, Uruha would come to him. Aoi cupped the angel’s face and gently played with his hair.
♪We can’t return to that time. ♪
“Open your eyes my sleeping beauty,” Aoi kissed his lips.
Maybe he isn’t Uruha’s prince after all so the other just won’t wake up. He smiled and laughed at himself every time he does the same routine. He ended up carrying the other and laid him on his bed. Then Uruha’s body would cling to slight comfort, too different from the skimpy tub that Uruha loves to fix himself. Aoi then would choose whether to button the loose cloth of Uruha whose pink nipples were slightly exposed for him to fetish or to unbutton the remaining for him to have a better look and savor the other. He could choose but the latter is the one often happening not because he decided to but the victim forced him to continue.
“I love… your bathtub, Aoi,” Uruha moaned making the other aware that he’s already awake. “But I love the bed too… I can’t decide, you know.”
Aoi laughed though his heart only knew sorrow for the one next to him, “It’s not like you can have one of them!” Aoi took a deeper look on Uruha. He gently caressed the other’s face, “What are we Uruha? Why did you choose me?”
Uruha laughed. “Out of all of those people, I choose Aoi…” he wasn’t able to continue because Aoi suddenly pressed his lips against his.
“Liar, it’s not like you choose me. I know it’s plainly…random, isn’t it?” Aoi had the most confused eyes. “Won’t you… stop the drugs? I mean, it won’t do you any good and…”
“Fine,”
“Eh?”
“I said fine. I’ll stop if that’s what you want me to do. I probably can’t say no to you…” Uruha suddenly pulled Aoi’s shirt.
“Sex, who do you think of when you have sex with me? Is it to forget about Yune or… is it to remember… Kojima?” Aoi positioned himself between Uruha’s legs.
“Which one is it…? I wonder which one is it…” Uruha was supposed to kiss Aoi when the latter suddenly tilted his face. “Are you angry?” Uruha asked.
“It’s not like that… maybe… you’re just doing this for the bathtub…” Aoi trailed every inch of muscle on Uruha’s body. Aoi started teasing Uruha by licking every weak spot on him. “I won’t give it to you no matter what anyway…”
“Aoi, don’t leave me, I’m afraid of being alone,” Uruha wouldn’t look at the other though he managed to continue his words. “Something like this won’t work out? Why am I so fond of you, I wonder?” he laughed then back to his former expression of guilt or maybe despair.
“Let’s figure out every question we have together?”
“But, I already had forgotten, every reason for my breath, I already had forgotten.”
You, with that mellow expression, who continued to pull me into deep darkness, I want to do something for you, to keep your very soul from being devoured. But what could I do? This desire, your lust is my pressure, as I started to take notice of them the more I wanted you to drown from that darkness. If so, you’ll forever cling unto me, this little possessiveness would harm both of us one day but…
“Aoi, if you’ll keep this up, people would notice,” Uruha tried to keep his voice down when Aoi cornered him in an empty room after the interview.
“It’s fine, it’s not like we’re hiding it or something,” Aoi’s hands traveled under Uruha’s pants. “Remove it. I can’t play with you properly.”
“Aoi, this is dangerous, we can’t…” Uruha noticed the other’s eyes. It’s deep but calm that left him no choice but to do what he wanted. He loosened his belt and the denim slowly slid through his legs. Aoi smiled lightly and started to remove Uruha’s shirt. Almost naked, Aoi started to touch him all over his sweet spots, licking every tickling place. Uruha found it hard to suppress his moans.
Uruha brought out his soul. Aoi’s warmth seemed to burn him. Aoi let him sat at a make-up table and spread his legs while Uruha’s chin leaned into his shoulders. Lust left traces on their necks as their tongues danced with one another unable to recognize any sense of reason. The river of sweat that made their body sparkled into delight as Aoi entered him. The feeling was sweet but then those memories were bitter. Uruha’s scars were too deep. The nightmare of abuse won’t allow him to wake up from a deep dream that even Aoi couldn’t wake him up. Aoi felt the wetness on his cheeks. He slowly departed himself to the other’s body that was in shock for the moment. Did he disappoint Aoi again? Uruha could only ask himself. He knew what the other feels and Aoi doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. He shook and apologized. Uruha wiped his tears and when he was about to apologize once again, Aoi intertwined his hand with him and a soft kiss landed into his lips.
“Forget it, I’ll protect you,” Aoi smiled.
♪ No matter what words or what thoughts, a closed heart that won’t accept them, if I sleep eternally will someone notice this pain? ♪
Surprisingly, a door opened. Aoi immediately covered Uruha. He embraced him tightly as if someone was about to abduct him. He turned back to see who just broke their sweet illusion. Ah, it’s only THAT band. They signed up at PSC two years ago. They’re the two guitarists of ScReW. If he wasn’t that forgetful, he might remember their real names. He just spoke to them as Manabu and Kazuki.
“Ah, sorry for barging in, so this is your make-up room? Would you give us a second and we’re about to leave too?” Aoi spoke naturally.
“Yeah,” the two who were shock to see what they mustn’t went out and closed the door. Both of them didn’t expect that some fan services are real.
“Oi, you two seem to see a ghost. Why didn’t you enter?” Jin teased.
“Ah, don’t enter!” Manabu tried to stop Byou. “There are two people inside and…”
“What the heck? It’s our room, right? Then they should leave, why we’re not allowed to enter?”
“No, it’s not like that…” Kazuki helped Manabu.
Byou continued and when he was about to turn the knob, it opened from inside and two people passed at his front, “Sorry for barging in,” Aoi said without stopping his steps. He’s holding Uruha’s hand.
Uruha was embarrassed and he could only look down. He didn’t notice the close man, he just passed by. He heard about the band from Aoi but didn’t have the chance to see them. Yes, it was possible that they never met even though they were signed at the same company for two years. It was possible if you’re like Uruha who always keep himself locked at his own solitude, not caring for the world outside his wall.
“Kouyou…” Uruha heard his name escaped from the man’s lips.
He turned back and finally recognized the figure of the man who’s not a stranger to him, “Why… Kojima…”
Aoi won’t give Uruha enough time to understand the things that were brought up to his front. He furiously pulled him away and caged him to his own room. He won’t let the other cling back to the man he used to love and he’s aware that even now, Uruha has a place on his heart for him.
“You know it, didn’t you? That’s Kojima, isn’t it? Aoi, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me he’s here? I have to go back. I have to…” Aoi didn’t let him go. He threw Uruha on his bed. He’s stronger and he’s willing to use that advantage to possess the other.
“We have to work on a song so stay here. I’ll prepare some drinks,”
“Aoi… why are you doing this?” Uruha stood up and forced himself to get out but Aoi tied him with his body. It’s a chain he couldn’t escape.
“What will you do? If I had told you that he’s here in Tokyo, what have you done, Uruha? Tell me! Will you leave me? After all I’ve done, after I saved you from Yune, after I brought Kai here, you’ll just discard me like that?”
“Please don’t discard me…”
“I… I don’t know. Aoi… help me… Please save me…” Uruha cried on Aoi.
“Yeah, just like that. Embrace me, need me,” Aoi kissed him.
They both lie in the bed. Aoi was sitting and Uruha’s on his lap. The lights were turned off as they looked at the scenery at his room’s window. The busy city of Tokyo they lived in doesn’t change no matter how many years passed them by.
“I love your bed so much but your lap is more comfortable…” Uruha fell asleep.
♪ The stars of the night sky that bloom in the darkness are rubbish. Light melts into dry eyes, toward a dizzy, unstable world…♪
After the concert live, Byou and his band went out for pizza. They’re in their normal and stupid conversation and usual stuffs like they used to be except that Byou seemed like an empty shell that time. It wasn’t a secret neither something needed to be hidden. Even from the start, Byou’s open to them just like real brothers. They’re fully aware of his feelings and his relationship with Uruha. They tried to lessen the pain but Byou won’t even smile at them. Kazuki has no other option but to confront the issue.
“We can’t continue like this. Byou, we came here as a band. Uruha already reached something while we… we’re just starting, you know. That’s why we have to do our best to catch up…”
“I know. I’m not going to be a burden.”
“No, it’s not like that! I just want you to realize that we’re on the same company. There would be a time that we’re going to meet on the same stage. What I am saying is, better clear things that are needed to be cleared and end the things needed to be ended.”
Byou stood up of annoyance, “Oh I see! Then I’ll end it!”
Kazuki didn’t see Byou the next morning. He didn’t attend the band practice. He secretly had a contact to Aoi. From what he heard, it seemed like Byou didn’t contact Uruha either. If that’s the case, then that’s good as long as Byou wouldn’t lose himself, the two bands would continue to be active. So what happened to Miyagi? Why isn’t he doing something? No one noticed that the bassist has something on his mind, something that no one really had predicted. He’s on his limitation that’s what he thought as he looked at his trembling right hand.
No matter how Byou became essential to his past, Uruha couldn’t abandon his present. He couldn’t leave Aoi. That’s why he chose to live his normal life. He’s not alone anymore. He has a bond called a family which he found in the GazettE. Just like that time, he must choose the band over Byou. He’s used to it. It’s clear for him but why does it hurt so much? Uruha wouldn’t know and he might not easily find the answer. Instead of thinking and searching recklessly for those reasons, he must move forward, move closer to his dream…
“Room 417, I’ll be waiting.”
Uruha immediately packed his things after reading the txt message. He didn’t even tell anyone where he’s going nor even looked at Aoi.
♪With one’s back to the wall, fear to the death and regrets to the life, in dazzling morning, I can say good-bye. Hey tell me, something to shake and ignite my heartbeat, to the brave new world for the Wailing Wall. ♪
He continued to run. He didn’t even asked who is it or how did he get his number but he knew from his heart that this is the message he had been waiting. He got there within few minutes. It wasn’t that far away. Before twisting the knob, there’s a slight hesitation but he’s there. More than thinking of the things that might happen, he’s there isn’t he? That’s what he thought as he entered the room and saw the man sitting in front of him, just like in the drama movie. He’s just there sitting, sitting and staring at him. Uruha closed the door and leaned on it as he forced a smile as if he’s meeting a long time friend which he never had a bitter memory.
“You see Kojima… I… I had a dream last night. Yune… I’ve always dreamed about him and the time he forced me to… It’s all because of the band even though I know how much I’m betraying you by spending the nights with him. I’m the worst, right? But you see, Kojima, yesterday… it’s different. I have Aoi and we just play the guitar and… we’re really happy…” Uruha’s forced to continue even though his tears were about to burst out.
“Yeah, you’re happy…” Byou smiled.
“Ruki too… Reita too… and Kai, all of us are happy. Even the audience was singing with us.”
“Yeah, that’s good.”
“We’re really happy and this becomes my world and I… I didn’t… see Kojima there…” Uruha fell on his knees. “Kojima… seemed so far… I couldn’t see you…”
♪The flowers in the empty sky that scatter in the brilliant light are fleeting. The damp eyes are swallowed by the darkness toward a dizzy, unstable world…♪
“Kojima wasn’t there for me anymore. You… you have your own world now.”
“Do you think I am doing fine in that world without you, Uruha?”
“This distance we have right now is just like how is it. We’re both at the ends of two opposite walls. In the future, we really have to separate. I have the GazettE. You have ScReW. That’s how it is, isn’t it? We two have different worlds.” Uruha stood up and was about to leave when Byou suddenly embraced him from behind.
“Is it okay if I say what I'm feeling right now?” Byou’s voice was like a calming song on Uruha’s ears. “I don't know what's going to happen in the future but what I'm feeling right now is 100% not a lie. I can say that with confidence.”
“Kojima… don’t…”
“I wasn’t there when Yune did those to you. I wasn’t able to protect you. I wasn’t there when you’re suffering neither when you’re happy. I won’t blame you if you’ll think Aoi is more reliable than me but one day, maybe I'll be able to help. No matter how many times you push me away, I’ll stay. Even if you told me that you didn’t need me anymore, I’ll be here. I may not be with you in the future you imagine, but I’ll be always at your side and you can count in that. Things can't be the same as they were before, but there's this kind of feeling that's linking us together. I don't think that we're living in different worlds. I, with regards to you... I love you. I love you, you hear that?”
“But…”
“Did you hear that?”
“Th-thank you,” Uruha faced him and he wrapped his arms to the other. “Thank you. As I thought, that time, Kojima… is waiting for me at the backstage.”
“That’s stupid,” Kojima held him tighter. “Why I’ll be waiting for you at the backstage? Who do you think you are?”
♪With one’s back to the wall, fear to the death and regrets to the life, in dazzling morning, I can say good-bye. Hey, tell me, something to shake and ignite my heartbeat to the brave new world for the Wailing Wall. ♪
A/N: Comment. Next might be Change of Heart.