(no subject)
well, almost 2 weeks have passed & im still just as sad about the break up.I still dated.as usual,didn't work.Josh & i faught...and faught..we said things that made each other cry..and scream more.
Now , i just don't know.Things are more horrible then they were when we were together.We keep saying things are over for good.but i know in reality,it's not.We mean too much to each other.Or atleast,he means a lot to me.
I haven't done SHIT the past couple of days, i dont know what's wrong with me. It's probably the headaches,the possibilities of being prego.(but,im not).the crying.I always talk about Josh to other guys,and they hate it , i know(im sorry).
But that is all that is on my mind,is HIM. He can't even give me 3 days a week.sometimes,i don't know what im waiting for. but when you've had the same person around for a little over 4 months,he's all you're used to.
I was sick of waiting,b/c i was sick of crying.and thinkin about the times that we've faught,and all the shit he has said to me.It hurt so bad...and i cant stop thinking about it.i cant stop thinking about himm and usss...and i dont know if i should move on b/c what if i don't find better? atleast,not anytime soon. what if i dont want to ,but do find better but fuck it up?
....ugh..
i can't think.i'll write later.