and you wonder if you are alive
Somehow today I was productive.
But why then is my apartment messier?
Things are on shelves & things are vacuumed, and things have been moved.
It's magic! I swear.
I am bordering on a massive depressive breakdown.
A) I told Noel everything. This was after he said "I want to kiss you"/"I'm still not over you".
B) I told David "I obviously love you. Clearly we should never speak again" & then it was all about the AIM blocks.
& today he contacted me via a different account. Blocked.
C) I lay in bed for two additional hours thinking about Jon. Why?!?!
He is moving away soon.
I am not moving anywhere.
Now we've been on...four(?) dates. There is no kissing. There isn't even anything.
I don't know what to say or do. Normally a liking is established via online conversations, along with future promises of kisses. But not this time...and I'm too shy & uncomfortable to do anything.
I want to say "you should come over & we'll rent movies and make out".
& I don't want friends anymore.
Bryan insinuated I was a big whore this morning.
Petra & I aren't talking, and by my choice I suppose.
People are just terrible, terrible things. I can't take all the responsibility. I like alone time...and much less work.
& you are SO coming to Bright Eyes with me.
Let's go buy tickets before the week is out.
But why then is my apartment messier?
Things are on shelves & things are vacuumed, and things have been moved.
It's magic! I swear.
I am bordering on a massive depressive breakdown.
A) I told Noel everything. This was after he said "I want to kiss you"/"I'm still not over you".
B) I told David "I obviously love you. Clearly we should never speak again" & then it was all about the AIM blocks.
& today he contacted me via a different account. Blocked.
C) I lay in bed for two additional hours thinking about Jon. Why?!?!
He is moving away soon.
I am not moving anywhere.
Now we've been on...four(?) dates. There is no kissing. There isn't even anything.
I don't know what to say or do. Normally a liking is established via online conversations, along with future promises of kisses. But not this time...and I'm too shy & uncomfortable to do anything.
I want to say "you should come over & we'll rent movies and make out".
& I don't want friends anymore.
Bryan insinuated I was a big whore this morning.
Petra & I aren't talking, and by my choice I suppose.
People are just terrible, terrible things. I can't take all the responsibility. I like alone time...and much less work.
& you are SO coming to Bright Eyes with me.
Let's go buy tickets before the week is out.