Onions Make Me Cry
If you actually read the title of this post ( I tend not to, and I rarely ever post titles myself) then I'm sure it seems obvious that most people tear up at least once while cutting an onion. I am unnaturally affected by onion cutting I think. I just cut a medium onion and had to stop three times!! My eyes are still burning, and I can't stop blinking. I love onions so much, why do they hate me!?
The cutie pie above is Mike's niece, Riley. She's our little precious. We love her sooo much. We both got to chat with her on the phone today. She says "My Lyla!! My Lyla! I talk Doodie!!" Our names our Lyla (Sharyla) and Doodie (For Uncle Dookie, long story, family nick name).
Talking to our niece brings up bitter sweet feelings though. We've been actively trying to get pregnant for about 6 months now, and before that we weren't doing anything to prevent it. So far, no dice. It's important to know that this affects me deeply due to the fact that I had a miscarriage when I was 19, and was terribly excited about the baby. I wasn't very far a long, only about 13 weeks, but at the time I didn't have a lot to live for, really no direction and then I had this life...and it was going to be mine to care for, and I grew up instantly. I worked hard and saved money and had plans (which given my age, would have doubtless fallen apart) and when I lost the baby I felt...well...ripped off.
Now, I've found a man who wants a child, and one with me, and the older that Riley gets, it seems, the more he wants one of his own. My parents are ready for grand children, and have been...well, they're extremely supportive of our sex life for parents.
This is all coming up because my period is late, but as usual, I'm sure it will start. It always does. I'm only 3 days late, and I've been as long as 2 weeks, which was devastating. I've already taken a pregnancy test ( I know it sounds way too soon in the 'lateness' but I've found that if I take one early, and it says no, then I don't stress as much that I might be, and I don't get as disappointed when I'm not).
I'm tired of hearing "It will happen when you don't want it to" "It will happen when it's the right time" <---How does that one work for drug addicted mothers??? "If you quit stressing out, it'll happen". I just want everyone to say "Aw...I'm sorry that you're not preggers. The worst is mothers who tell me "Oh! You have no idea, you don't want a baby!! They are way more work than you think they are!" Okay, I'm 24 not twelve...and I know that babies are work, I know that they take away a good portion of your life...but can you be any more assertive that you are NOT happy you're a mother?? I know that sounds harsh, but when you want a baby and someone who has what you want tries to tell you that you don't want it....it's really irritating!!!!! ::sigh::
Well..yeah. So there you have it.
fin.