(no subject)
This morning I got woken up all sweetly. Not as sweet as some mornings, but he did turn on the coffee for me. That's worth a lot there!!
I thought since I had some extra time this morning I would tell all of my new friends, and my old, about my man. I'm in a loving mood, and feel like talking about him, and everyone at work is kind of sick of hearing it LOL. (Actually my work friends are very supportive of our relationship).
I've known my fiance, Mike, for 10-11 years now. He's the little brother of my best friend from high school. His sister and I are still very close, and it is sometimes weird, though not a lot anymore as it's been over a year, to kiss him in front of her! Doesn't stop me though.
For three years I was in a horrible relationship with a real dick head. This guy was a piece of work and I was head over heels in love with him for probably 2 1/2 years. He finally succeeded in pushing me away enough that I didn't love him anymore, but I was in that complacent place where you stay because at least you know you're miserable, but if you leave you may find it's even worse. That was until he broke up with me the day before our three year anniversary. It was a very surreal conversation, and while I wanted very badly to be hurt, I felt more like chains were being lifted off of me. I'd been in Illinois for 4 years and hadn't been home (PA) at all, so as soon as he left (he went on a motorcycle ride 2 minutes after saying we were through) I packed as much as I could into my little car, quit my job, drove to a couple of friends house to say good bye, printed out directions home and was on the road. By the time he returned I was almost to Chicago (about 60 miles from where I lived).
Coming home was the best thing I've ever done. While my friends from Illinois miss me, and I know that they really do, as they tell me often, they are all happy in a way that I'm gone. I don't think any of them ever realized how unhappy I was until they heard happiness in my voice.
The plan when I came home was to be a whore. I'd been with the same person for 3 years, and he didn't often give me any lovin's of any kind, and I wanted to sleep with as many people as possible. The last thing I wanted was a relationship!
Mike and I use to fool around a bit in high school, but never dated. I always thought I was breaking some cardinal rule of being a best friend. He always thought that because I never said I wanted a relationship, that I didn't. So eventually we went about our separate ways. But, I always held a special place for him in my chest...and apparently he held a torch for me for a long time. Once every 6 months he would call my mom and randomly ask if I was home. She'd remind him that I didn't live in this state anymore, offer my phone number, he wouldn't take it and then he'd do it all over again....odd.
After coming home a bunch of people that I really wanted to see and who really wanted to see me got together at a local eatery and hung out for a bit. Of course Mike's sister was there, and without even thinking about it I asked her to ask Mike to come. She made me call him and when I told him who I was and that I was home and would he like to come get coffee with some people he was very very quick to say yes. When he got there, oh the hug. That first hug was amazing. I hadn't been hugged like that by a boy in a long time, and I think I may have fell for him right there. Though I tried really hard to deny it. We ended up going back to his sister's place together and doing what we never did in high school and that was suppose to be that.
Except I couldn't stop thinking about him...and when he called me (a week later -.-) I was like a girl in high school! I ran around the house...I shrieked...it happened. It's embarrassing...
So, we started seeing each other on the weekends, as I lived 1 1/2 hours away. I would come up on Friday night and we'd be together constantly until Sunday. At first I didn't think that I could make it work. It was hard, with everything I'd been through with my ex. And, my ex and I had just split a couple weeks before, and I knew that getting into a relationship that quick would be a bad thing. But, I kept going and after 2 months we were in love and we were having some major emotional (and financial) difficulties being away from each other for a week at a time. So, on Father's day last year we looked at this apartment, and on July 1st we moved in. There have been some ups and downs, but mostly ups. And the downs are hard to call downs after what I was with before. Mike and I just argue about stupid crap, like who is going to do the dishes (we're usually fighting because he does the dishes all the time and I want him to let me do them sometimes!) and whether or not my desk needs cleaned. I think those fights are okay...that's just living together.
Now we're engaged, the wedding is in December, and I can't wait. I'm going to marry one of the most loving men, who wants a family, and loves his and loves mine almost as much. He makes me feel smart, and sexy and fun. He makes me feel safe and warm, and he makes me feel like I have a future to look forward to. He makes me want to be a better person for both me and him. He's a hard worker, and loves a clean house, and is willing to be the one to get it that way. He is a wonderful Uncle and I like to brag that he knows all the songs to every Barney because..well, if Riley loves it, he'll learn it.
I'm very lucky to have him.