My Journal...My Feelings......
OK so I am havin a pretty good vacation so far...Nothin really spectacular, but still not bad. Friday Taylor and I went to the mall and then watched Le Divorce. Umm yea i really don't recommend it..its kinda not good. Saturday I worked until 2pm and then was home the rest of the night slept for a while then ordered a pizza so i would have carbs in me for States the next day.
So sunday was my State Compeition for Level 8 gymnastics. We started on Vault and i received a 9.0, which is pretty good. Bars I had a great routine but got robbed out of a good score, but received a decent 8.65, but it's states so things they are gonna nail if there are flexed fleet or somethin like that. Beam sucked badly. I had an 8.35 with a no fall routine but my round off series was just bad. Floor I'm most pissed about cuz i had the best routine i've ever done and only received an 8.9. I thought i deserved over a 9.0 o well there's nothin I can do. Well after the meet was over my all-around was a 34.9 which is good, but i really wanted to make regionals again and u need over a 35 usually to make it. Well they started awards and I had 10th on vault, 11th on bars and 11th all around. These are good places since there was 40 girls in my age group. Well they started anouncin the all stars for the regional team and my name was called. So i did accomplish my goal. Regionals are May 8-9, in Mass. Even though it would have been nice to end my season there, another 3 weeks in the gym won't be that bad :o).
Ummm let's see Monday I cleaned out my room all day. I ended up with 2 full bags of clothes to give away plus another bag with clothes/shoes/and misc stuff. That is pretty damn good, for me especially who never can give stuff up. So then i had to leave for teaching at the gym. Taught till 6 and then had practice and i stayed till 7:30 and left to get some dinner and went home and watched TV until i passed out. Tuesday my mom and I went shopping and I got a bunch of stuff in Express. Came home for practice and it was DANCE NIGHT. OMG our routine is so awesome even though some movves we can't exactly do. Our cheorographer did a dance to "Yeah" for us. Its pretty kewl though. I have been practicin it in my free time. So after dance i left and came home and watched TV and then watched a movie until I passed out. Now today Im finishin cleanin my room and then I'm teachin from 4-8:30 yea! I'm savin up to buy my Dooney&Bourke Purse :o) hehehe
OK so now the reason for the title. Well last night I packed up everythin I could find that reminded me of justin that i still had and hadn't lost. Pictures from the cruise/proms/ring dance...glass from his prom... necklace from xmas...concert tickets....cd with 2 songs... i dunno there's more stuff in there...Well i talked to a couple people about what to do and they all agreed with me on my original plan to drop off the box at his house next week. They all it it was prolly the best thing to do and the most practical. Just sometimes you need to let go and i still hadn't. You always have those thoughts in the back of your head: hopes that maybe somethin will change, but they reality smacks u in the head sayin no never again. I don't want those thoughts anymore. Helpin dana and justin all the time killed me. It broke me into pieces and tore me apart. This is the only way that I can really be happy. Dana please don't be mad that I didn't tell u some of this. U are one of my best friends. How could i go to u and be like yea i still have feelins for ur bf. And Im not gonna allow anythin to happen for me to screw u guys up and thats why i have to let go. Thats why i can't see him and don't want to think about things anymore. I don't wanna be hurt anymore. It's the best thing for everyone. Im Sorry. The box im gonna drop off next week.
So sunday was my State Compeition for Level 8 gymnastics. We started on Vault and i received a 9.0, which is pretty good. Bars I had a great routine but got robbed out of a good score, but received a decent 8.65, but it's states so things they are gonna nail if there are flexed fleet or somethin like that. Beam sucked badly. I had an 8.35 with a no fall routine but my round off series was just bad. Floor I'm most pissed about cuz i had the best routine i've ever done and only received an 8.9. I thought i deserved over a 9.0 o well there's nothin I can do. Well after the meet was over my all-around was a 34.9 which is good, but i really wanted to make regionals again and u need over a 35 usually to make it. Well they started awards and I had 10th on vault, 11th on bars and 11th all around. These are good places since there was 40 girls in my age group. Well they started anouncin the all stars for the regional team and my name was called. So i did accomplish my goal. Regionals are May 8-9, in Mass. Even though it would have been nice to end my season there, another 3 weeks in the gym won't be that bad :o).
Ummm let's see Monday I cleaned out my room all day. I ended up with 2 full bags of clothes to give away plus another bag with clothes/shoes/and misc stuff. That is pretty damn good, for me especially who never can give stuff up. So then i had to leave for teaching at the gym. Taught till 6 and then had practice and i stayed till 7:30 and left to get some dinner and went home and watched TV until i passed out. Tuesday my mom and I went shopping and I got a bunch of stuff in Express. Came home for practice and it was DANCE NIGHT. OMG our routine is so awesome even though some movves we can't exactly do. Our cheorographer did a dance to "Yeah" for us. Its pretty kewl though. I have been practicin it in my free time. So after dance i left and came home and watched TV and then watched a movie until I passed out. Now today Im finishin cleanin my room and then I'm teachin from 4-8:30 yea! I'm savin up to buy my Dooney&Bourke Purse :o) hehehe
OK so now the reason for the title. Well last night I packed up everythin I could find that reminded me of justin that i still had and hadn't lost. Pictures from the cruise/proms/ring dance...glass from his prom... necklace from xmas...concert tickets....cd with 2 songs... i dunno there's more stuff in there...Well i talked to a couple people about what to do and they all agreed with me on my original plan to drop off the box at his house next week. They all it it was prolly the best thing to do and the most practical. Just sometimes you need to let go and i still hadn't. You always have those thoughts in the back of your head: hopes that maybe somethin will change, but they reality smacks u in the head sayin no never again. I don't want those thoughts anymore. Helpin dana and justin all the time killed me. It broke me into pieces and tore me apart. This is the only way that I can really be happy. Dana please don't be mad that I didn't tell u some of this. U are one of my best friends. How could i go to u and be like yea i still have feelins for ur bf. And Im not gonna allow anythin to happen for me to screw u guys up and thats why i have to let go. Thats why i can't see him and don't want to think about things anymore. I don't wanna be hurt anymore. It's the best thing for everyone. Im Sorry. The box im gonna drop off next week.