Porcelain Doll chapter 1/3 ToraxShou
Title: Porcelain Doll
Chapters: 1/3
Author: mxtrxofsomer
Genre: angst, romance, AU
Band(s): Alice Nine
Pairing: Tora x Shou
Rating: R
Warnings: Weirdness (I guess)
Summary: “Give me back that brightness for I wish to stare at the chocolate colored mirror reflecting my past.”
Notes: it begs me to be written before I face all of my exams next week. This is for my dear beloved wife a_ashi as my wedding present (and because her Shou icon inspired the whole story. xDD) *huggles you hun* chu~~ <333 and a happy birthday gift to Shou~ ^^ (I dun know if he would be happy tho)
Chapter 2
Tora was at the passenger seat of the car, repeatedly flipping and unflipping the black mobile phone in his hand in much anxiety. With his left elbow propped against the windowsill and forced shallow breaths making circles of fog in varied sizes on the tinted glass, he watched the view of thickening woods glide in shady colors as the car treaded the road to the old, almost forgotten village that held most memories of his childhood.
It had been years and years, years of hard work, years of self-establishment, years of patience, years of longing, years of worries and finally, years of unfulfilled promise. Those years had really been hard for him, especially since he had left something important, moved on without taking that precious part of his life- the one which completed his past, would have done in the present and would be in the future. And all the things he had accomplished so far within that time frame he had restricted on himself, they were nothing but scattered pieces of his one sole purpose. Tora had actually been carefully preparing for this comeback all his life and seeing it slowly come to a step towards the end was scaring him more than anything else.
It seemed like it was only yesterday when he was living in that small town, running around the village in heavy panting breaths in a race, hurrying to reach the porch of their little house at exactly three o’clock in the afternoon, when it was time for his grandmother’s famous tea ceremony, to eat and share with his few neighbourhood friends her baked cookies or pastries and her very special chocolate drink recipe just for them. It was still fresh in his memory, how often he would be beaten by his neighbour- a small kid named Hiroto, and how they would argue, ending up with a petty childish fight, which his other friend- Nao loved to play referee to. They would wrestle, Tora was at an advantage because he was bigger, until his old lady would come out to the garden and scold them a few. After that they would still able to eat her baked goods despite their bad behaviours and their quarrel would all be left forgotten until another race. Oh, how he loved those times and how he wished he could experience them once more.
Tora had been living with his grandparents then, because both his mother and father were in Tokyo, too busy with their separate careers to take care of him. At that young age, he already understood his case and he wasn’t bitter about it, unlike some other kids that were, in the absence of their parents. He didn’t exactly know but maybe he even loved his grandparents more.
When Tora turned nine, his grandfather trusted him enough to own a real bicycle so that he could travel to and from their house with ease. He remembered how excited he was receiving it on his birthday that he had tried it out on the steep slope found in the farthest part of their village even if it was his first time. He had come home later that night limping, with a huge graze on his knees, almost causing his grandmother a heart attack. Since then, he had sworn to himself that he would be careful so that he would not upset his grandmother like that ever again.
The bicycle, more than a gift, became a huge part of his youth. It had brought him to places, helped him discover a lot of new things, and most significantly although in an indirect way, it introduced him to the person he valued the most.
“What are you doing here? Do you know that you’re trespassing?” the young blond haired boy with huge curious eyes asked Tora while he was fixing the chain of his bike that somehow got unclasped while he was pedalling home from his little trek in the woods. For that, he had to stop in the huge orchard owned by the richest family in the village. He knew he was trespassing alright, but did he have a choice?
“I’m just fixing my damn bike. Don’t worry, I’ll be out before you even know it,” Tora grumpily replied, cursing as he tried to mend his bicycle as fast as possible.
“It’s actually okay to trespass.” The boy laughed, approaching Tora from behind to sit down beside him and the bike, and playing with the back wheel, spinning it slowly with his small hands. “My parents won’t really mind. People are just overreacting about weird rumours. I’m attending school down the nearest city that’s why I’m always not here and I have friends from there too. I’m not a ghost or something.”
Tora had heard those creepy stories going around about him and his family. Shamefully, he had been one of those people who believed those stories, well not the parts in which it said that they were witches or vampires but the hearsays that they were cruel and hateful towards ordinary people like him. But seeing the boy in front of him now as he told Tora the kind of life he was having, he could only wonder where all those bad rumours came from. The kid seemed harmless- like he could not even lift his hand to hurt a fly, friendly and the worst, a little lonely. Tora now only felt like an idiot, listening to them and not finding out the truth for himself.
“Oh, I’m being rude. I haven’t introduced myself yet."
“Tora-niichan has a lot of going ons in his mind right,” the voice of his cousin Yuko floated somewhere inside his brain, waking him up from the short memory trip that he was not sure if he enjoyed or not. Tora was actually thankful for her interference, even if it meant that he was being mean to his own recollections. Good memories were good and bad memories were always painful.
“That’s not allowed. You’re here for a vacation,” she smiled at him, glancing at the rear-view mirror to check the road before steering the car to the curve on the right. They were now entering the town and Tora could not help but be nostalgic. “We’re almost there. Obaachan would be pleased to see you.”
Tora just sighed then went looking back outside the window. He wanted to see his grandmother, he had really been anticipating that. But he didn’t come here for a vacation, no, not at all. He came here to leave again, and maybe, to not come back anymore.
-----
Tora was really exhausted, and that was caused by a lot of reasons. One, he was tired from the long hours of train and car rides that stole most of the time of his day. Second, he was tired because as soon as he opened the door of his old home when they arrived, he had been greeted by his family, including his uncle and aunt- Yuko’s parents and all the friends he knew back then, except for the two closest to him- Nao and Hiroto who were both in Tokyo right now. He was really happy with their warm welcome and he honestly appreciated all their efforts but after that, a party took place which completely wore him out. And of course, if there was a party, automatically, there was a clean-up, wherein he had to participate despite the strong protests of his Baachan. He just couldn’t leave his old lady doing all the chores although Yuko stayed until late hours to help them out. Lastly, Tora was tired because it was already past one in the morning but sleep hadn’t overcome him yet.
And he had been convinced that he was too drained he’d fall asleep in no time once his back touched the comforts of his soft bed. But his conviction was proven wrong. True, there was fatigue and he could feel it, but there was not a single tinge of sleepiness in his system. If there was something, it was only the worry he had been carrying all day, resurfacing after hiding from him during the amenities and catching up tales he did with the people in the party. He was again, down to the black pit of uncertainty and he could not calm himself anymore.
The fact that he was right in this town, inside his room just a few kilometres away from that place was aggravating him. He had planned the week he would be spending in here and that included visiting the mansion up the foot of the mountain but he already could not wait for morning to come and bless him the needed opportunity. Such a matter could not be preserved for so long after all, but then, how could he have survived it when he was miles away?
His bedroom door creaked open and the light from the hallway escaping through the small crack temporarily blinded eyes. He sat up straight, shielding them from the brightness to stare at the silhouette of his grandmother standing at the doorway. “Baachan, why are you still awake?”
“I thought you were asleep and I just wanted to check up on you.”
“I’m old enough I could be your own son,” he chuckled.
“Silly dear,” his Baachan replied, entering the room but leaving the door open. “Can’t sleep?”
“Maybe in a while,” he shrugged.
His grandmother tilted her head in a way that showed the wisdom she held from her noble age and sweetly smiled at him. “You know, your grandfather left your old bicycle in the garage and it’s still in good condition. In my opinion, it just needs a little cleaning and it’s ready for use again.”
“Eh?” was all he Tora could utter in the great surprise. Was he actually and truthfully hearing those words coming from his grandmother who had been nothing but overprotective of him during those twelve years of his stay here? Was he really sure that he was still wide awake and not yet wandering in dreamland?
“Well, you told me that you’re old enough to be my second son,” she laughed, pulling the door open and stepping out. “Good night dear,” she called before shutting the door close and leaving him, only blinking in disbelief.
Once coherence returned to him, Tora quickly got up from his bed, rushing to his still unpacked belongings to grab a casual pair of pants and a jacket. There was nothing wrong if he tried. His grandmother might be right, she was ancient after all.
-----
Crisps of dry autumn leaves lying strayed on the grounds of the widest garden Tora had ever known were crunching under his guarded footsteps as he walked within the foreign territory owned by the richest and probably most powerful family in the whole prefecture. This place, though had been abandoned by its masters several years ago, had been maintained by the family’s most faithful workers. They had been assigned to keep it in well condition, even if their lords had no desires of reclaiming it again. This was a well-known lore going on and being passed around the village people living nearby, ever since the family evacuated to live in the city. But Tora knew better than them. He had unwillingly become a secret keeper even if he was an outsider who was strictly forbidden to know.
He never liked the secret, never wanted to keep it or perhaps, he would have preferred not knowing it at all, because more than anything, when he saw what had become right in front of his eyes, he was so devastated that he almost had hurt him- his beloved with his own desperate hands. He could still remember falling down to his knees while being numb to his surroundings, and crying with a searing pain ripping his chest again and again as he lay on the polished floor, flooding it with his tears. Starting that day, the real Tora had died, his soul had gone away, only leaving behind a lifeless skin, like that of his precious porcelain doll.
Tora regretted everything that he had done when learned of this secret. He regretted leaving the town in the first place to continue high school in Tokyo under the supervision of his parents. He regretted not coming home earlier when he could have done something to prevent it. He nearly regretted living too, if only he did not have that one last objective he needed to finish. Tora was now nothing but a walking soulless flesh that was incapable of doing anything except breaking that hateful secret to free them- all of the involved people from their suffering.
Light coming from a flashlight flickered somewhere at a distance and Tora’s heart began to pound wildly against his ribs. He couldn’t be caught now. He couldn’t risk tainting his name, not when he was just a few more days away from the real goal. He couldn’t lose his only chance. He wouldn’t be allowed next time if he failed.
“Young master, I have heard of your arrival this morning.”
Tora sighed in relief as he recognized the voice of the old woman from behind. He gulped, turning around, his knees weakly shaking from the tension he had experienced earlier. “You scared me Akiko-sama.”
“I would advise you to follow me. As long as you do, nothing will happen,” the woman lightly said, waving her own penlight before Tora’s face. “I couldn’t leave you alone could I? This is our conspiracy.”
“Akiko, I want to…” Tora reluctantly spoke.
“Oh, yes. Age has blessed me with that knowledge. Young master Shou is mostly the same from the day you left him seven years ago,” Akiko replied. “The prince is peacefully sleeping in his room.”
Tora looked down, imagining his beloved’s silky white face under the elegant lighting of the chandelier hanging from the ceiling of his luxurious room. The same pain that stabbed him seven years ago on that day started to pierce the corner of his heart again. He swallowed hard, biting his lip hard that he could taste blood, as he willed the mist forming in his eyes to stop from flowing down.
-----
Endnotes : zomg! *scratches head* >.> i dun knoe~??? *headdesk*
happy birthday to Shou! *lights some firecrackers and watches for a few seconds then goes back hiding behind her books* there’s some papers I need to finish. *pouts* comments of course are huge HEARTS <333
Fanfic Archive
Chapters: 1/3
Author: mxtrxofsomer
Genre: angst, romance, AU
Band(s): Alice Nine
Pairing: Tora x Shou
Rating: R
Warnings: Weirdness (I guess)
Summary: “Give me back that brightness for I wish to stare at the chocolate colored mirror reflecting my past.”
Notes: it begs me to be written before I face all of my exams next week. This is for my dear beloved wife a_ashi as my wedding present (and because her Shou icon inspired the whole story. xDD) *huggles you hun* chu~~ <333 and a happy birthday gift to Shou~ ^^ (I dun know if he would be happy tho)
Chapter 2
Tora was at the passenger seat of the car, repeatedly flipping and unflipping the black mobile phone in his hand in much anxiety. With his left elbow propped against the windowsill and forced shallow breaths making circles of fog in varied sizes on the tinted glass, he watched the view of thickening woods glide in shady colors as the car treaded the road to the old, almost forgotten village that held most memories of his childhood.
It had been years and years, years of hard work, years of self-establishment, years of patience, years of longing, years of worries and finally, years of unfulfilled promise. Those years had really been hard for him, especially since he had left something important, moved on without taking that precious part of his life- the one which completed his past, would have done in the present and would be in the future. And all the things he had accomplished so far within that time frame he had restricted on himself, they were nothing but scattered pieces of his one sole purpose. Tora had actually been carefully preparing for this comeback all his life and seeing it slowly come to a step towards the end was scaring him more than anything else.
It seemed like it was only yesterday when he was living in that small town, running around the village in heavy panting breaths in a race, hurrying to reach the porch of their little house at exactly three o’clock in the afternoon, when it was time for his grandmother’s famous tea ceremony, to eat and share with his few neighbourhood friends her baked cookies or pastries and her very special chocolate drink recipe just for them. It was still fresh in his memory, how often he would be beaten by his neighbour- a small kid named Hiroto, and how they would argue, ending up with a petty childish fight, which his other friend- Nao loved to play referee to. They would wrestle, Tora was at an advantage because he was bigger, until his old lady would come out to the garden and scold them a few. After that they would still able to eat her baked goods despite their bad behaviours and their quarrel would all be left forgotten until another race. Oh, how he loved those times and how he wished he could experience them once more.
Tora had been living with his grandparents then, because both his mother and father were in Tokyo, too busy with their separate careers to take care of him. At that young age, he already understood his case and he wasn’t bitter about it, unlike some other kids that were, in the absence of their parents. He didn’t exactly know but maybe he even loved his grandparents more.
When Tora turned nine, his grandfather trusted him enough to own a real bicycle so that he could travel to and from their house with ease. He remembered how excited he was receiving it on his birthday that he had tried it out on the steep slope found in the farthest part of their village even if it was his first time. He had come home later that night limping, with a huge graze on his knees, almost causing his grandmother a heart attack. Since then, he had sworn to himself that he would be careful so that he would not upset his grandmother like that ever again.
The bicycle, more than a gift, became a huge part of his youth. It had brought him to places, helped him discover a lot of new things, and most significantly although in an indirect way, it introduced him to the person he valued the most.
“What are you doing here? Do you know that you’re trespassing?” the young blond haired boy with huge curious eyes asked Tora while he was fixing the chain of his bike that somehow got unclasped while he was pedalling home from his little trek in the woods. For that, he had to stop in the huge orchard owned by the richest family in the village. He knew he was trespassing alright, but did he have a choice?
“I’m just fixing my damn bike. Don’t worry, I’ll be out before you even know it,” Tora grumpily replied, cursing as he tried to mend his bicycle as fast as possible.
“It’s actually okay to trespass.” The boy laughed, approaching Tora from behind to sit down beside him and the bike, and playing with the back wheel, spinning it slowly with his small hands. “My parents won’t really mind. People are just overreacting about weird rumours. I’m attending school down the nearest city that’s why I’m always not here and I have friends from there too. I’m not a ghost or something.”
Tora had heard those creepy stories going around about him and his family. Shamefully, he had been one of those people who believed those stories, well not the parts in which it said that they were witches or vampires but the hearsays that they were cruel and hateful towards ordinary people like him. But seeing the boy in front of him now as he told Tora the kind of life he was having, he could only wonder where all those bad rumours came from. The kid seemed harmless- like he could not even lift his hand to hurt a fly, friendly and the worst, a little lonely. Tora now only felt like an idiot, listening to them and not finding out the truth for himself.
“Oh, I’m being rude. I haven’t introduced myself yet."
“Tora-niichan has a lot of going ons in his mind right,” the voice of his cousin Yuko floated somewhere inside his brain, waking him up from the short memory trip that he was not sure if he enjoyed or not. Tora was actually thankful for her interference, even if it meant that he was being mean to his own recollections. Good memories were good and bad memories were always painful.
“That’s not allowed. You’re here for a vacation,” she smiled at him, glancing at the rear-view mirror to check the road before steering the car to the curve on the right. They were now entering the town and Tora could not help but be nostalgic. “We’re almost there. Obaachan would be pleased to see you.”
Tora just sighed then went looking back outside the window. He wanted to see his grandmother, he had really been anticipating that. But he didn’t come here for a vacation, no, not at all. He came here to leave again, and maybe, to not come back anymore.
-----
Tora was really exhausted, and that was caused by a lot of reasons. One, he was tired from the long hours of train and car rides that stole most of the time of his day. Second, he was tired because as soon as he opened the door of his old home when they arrived, he had been greeted by his family, including his uncle and aunt- Yuko’s parents and all the friends he knew back then, except for the two closest to him- Nao and Hiroto who were both in Tokyo right now. He was really happy with their warm welcome and he honestly appreciated all their efforts but after that, a party took place which completely wore him out. And of course, if there was a party, automatically, there was a clean-up, wherein he had to participate despite the strong protests of his Baachan. He just couldn’t leave his old lady doing all the chores although Yuko stayed until late hours to help them out. Lastly, Tora was tired because it was already past one in the morning but sleep hadn’t overcome him yet.
And he had been convinced that he was too drained he’d fall asleep in no time once his back touched the comforts of his soft bed. But his conviction was proven wrong. True, there was fatigue and he could feel it, but there was not a single tinge of sleepiness in his system. If there was something, it was only the worry he had been carrying all day, resurfacing after hiding from him during the amenities and catching up tales he did with the people in the party. He was again, down to the black pit of uncertainty and he could not calm himself anymore.
The fact that he was right in this town, inside his room just a few kilometres away from that place was aggravating him. He had planned the week he would be spending in here and that included visiting the mansion up the foot of the mountain but he already could not wait for morning to come and bless him the needed opportunity. Such a matter could not be preserved for so long after all, but then, how could he have survived it when he was miles away?
His bedroom door creaked open and the light from the hallway escaping through the small crack temporarily blinded eyes. He sat up straight, shielding them from the brightness to stare at the silhouette of his grandmother standing at the doorway. “Baachan, why are you still awake?”
“I thought you were asleep and I just wanted to check up on you.”
“I’m old enough I could be your own son,” he chuckled.
“Silly dear,” his Baachan replied, entering the room but leaving the door open. “Can’t sleep?”
“Maybe in a while,” he shrugged.
His grandmother tilted her head in a way that showed the wisdom she held from her noble age and sweetly smiled at him. “You know, your grandfather left your old bicycle in the garage and it’s still in good condition. In my opinion, it just needs a little cleaning and it’s ready for use again.”
“Eh?” was all he Tora could utter in the great surprise. Was he actually and truthfully hearing those words coming from his grandmother who had been nothing but overprotective of him during those twelve years of his stay here? Was he really sure that he was still wide awake and not yet wandering in dreamland?
“Well, you told me that you’re old enough to be my second son,” she laughed, pulling the door open and stepping out. “Good night dear,” she called before shutting the door close and leaving him, only blinking in disbelief.
Once coherence returned to him, Tora quickly got up from his bed, rushing to his still unpacked belongings to grab a casual pair of pants and a jacket. There was nothing wrong if he tried. His grandmother might be right, she was ancient after all.
-----
Crisps of dry autumn leaves lying strayed on the grounds of the widest garden Tora had ever known were crunching under his guarded footsteps as he walked within the foreign territory owned by the richest and probably most powerful family in the whole prefecture. This place, though had been abandoned by its masters several years ago, had been maintained by the family’s most faithful workers. They had been assigned to keep it in well condition, even if their lords had no desires of reclaiming it again. This was a well-known lore going on and being passed around the village people living nearby, ever since the family evacuated to live in the city. But Tora knew better than them. He had unwillingly become a secret keeper even if he was an outsider who was strictly forbidden to know.
He never liked the secret, never wanted to keep it or perhaps, he would have preferred not knowing it at all, because more than anything, when he saw what had become right in front of his eyes, he was so devastated that he almost had hurt him- his beloved with his own desperate hands. He could still remember falling down to his knees while being numb to his surroundings, and crying with a searing pain ripping his chest again and again as he lay on the polished floor, flooding it with his tears. Starting that day, the real Tora had died, his soul had gone away, only leaving behind a lifeless skin, like that of his precious porcelain doll.
Tora regretted everything that he had done when learned of this secret. He regretted leaving the town in the first place to continue high school in Tokyo under the supervision of his parents. He regretted not coming home earlier when he could have done something to prevent it. He nearly regretted living too, if only he did not have that one last objective he needed to finish. Tora was now nothing but a walking soulless flesh that was incapable of doing anything except breaking that hateful secret to free them- all of the involved people from their suffering.
Light coming from a flashlight flickered somewhere at a distance and Tora’s heart began to pound wildly against his ribs. He couldn’t be caught now. He couldn’t risk tainting his name, not when he was just a few more days away from the real goal. He couldn’t lose his only chance. He wouldn’t be allowed next time if he failed.
“Young master, I have heard of your arrival this morning.”
Tora sighed in relief as he recognized the voice of the old woman from behind. He gulped, turning around, his knees weakly shaking from the tension he had experienced earlier. “You scared me Akiko-sama.”
“I would advise you to follow me. As long as you do, nothing will happen,” the woman lightly said, waving her own penlight before Tora’s face. “I couldn’t leave you alone could I? This is our conspiracy.”
“Akiko, I want to…” Tora reluctantly spoke.
“Oh, yes. Age has blessed me with that knowledge. Young master Shou is mostly the same from the day you left him seven years ago,” Akiko replied. “The prince is peacefully sleeping in his room.”
Tora looked down, imagining his beloved’s silky white face under the elegant lighting of the chandelier hanging from the ceiling of his luxurious room. The same pain that stabbed him seven years ago on that day started to pierce the corner of his heart again. He swallowed hard, biting his lip hard that he could taste blood, as he willed the mist forming in his eyes to stop from flowing down.
-----
Endnotes : zomg! *scratches head* >.> i dun knoe~??? *headdesk*
happy birthday to Shou! *lights some firecrackers and watches for a few seconds then goes back hiding behind her books* there’s some papers I need to finish. *pouts* comments of course are huge HEARTS <333
Fanfic Archive