(no subject)
so i've got m'self in a bit of a tizzy. ok, i'll say it, i've been having random crying jags for days for one reason or another.
i don't want to move, but i also don't want to keep having a really nice place but no money for a life, so i'm moving in order to save money for a fresh start. J's been acting weird since i told him i'm moving home, so now that's got me worried. last night i flat-out asked him if he was mad at me for moving, and he said no, but i really do think something's up. in light of the bomb he dropped on me a couple weeks ago, you know where my mind has been with that. i'm doing what i'm doing for the betterment of myself and, in turn, the relationship, and i told him that. if he can't wait out a few months - and it's not like we're not gonna see each other, i can go down to LI - then maybe he doesn't feel as strongly as i do, anyway, in which case i don't need him.
is it sad that this is still one of the better relationships i've had, and the most emotionally-stable i think i've ever been? lol
did a little more work on packing today, mostly taking down posters and whatnot. i called the storage place today and they're running a special: 5x10 for $55 for the first three months, $82 after that. still a lot less than what everyone had been warning me of, and i don't think i'll need anything bigger than that. i can always pile stuff on the loveseat, or stand it on end... i'm already planning to put the dinette chairs on top of the table lol. unfortunately, the next size bigger is 10x15, and that's much bigger than i need. heh. now i feel compelled to run around and tape-measure everything lol.
oh, man, i suck. i just realized, i had planned to take pictures of all the rooms before i took everything down. *sigh* oh well. (i wish i could put this apartment in my pocket and unfold it into wherever i live.)
i'm also really starting to hate living alone. this place feels so empty when no one else is here. my parents' house is much too full, but even if not a live-in boyfriend, i think i'd like a roommate. or at least a pet that's more interactive lol. oh! i found out that the landpeople have someone moving into the end unit and finally had to give up on their "no dogs" rule. that's why it's taken them so long to rent it. i'd say i wish i woulda known that sooner, but i still wouldn't have been able to afford to keep a dog lol.
speaking of pets, though... i don't deny that i've never quite gotten over Shoshi, so i've had it in my head this year that i wanted to get a black bunny, be it a stuffie or a figurine, to keep in his memory. i'd mentioned this to a couple people in passing and asked them to let me know if they saw anything, because for all the bunnies out this time of year, you're damned to find a black one.
well, today, Shaun stopped by the office door to say hi and ask where his hug was. started wandering away, knowing that i would get up and run after him to yell at him for asking for a hug and then walking away. we chatted for a minute, and when i got back to my desk there was a black stuffed bunny in the middle of it lol. short story long, it turned out to be from Patti, who set Shaun on me to distract me while she snuck in the back entrance of the office. i caught her just as she got out to the elevator and hugged her practically to death. with all the other stress i've been having, i feel so damn touched i keep tearing up every time i look at the bunny lol.
i don't want to move, but i also don't want to keep having a really nice place but no money for a life, so i'm moving in order to save money for a fresh start. J's been acting weird since i told him i'm moving home, so now that's got me worried. last night i flat-out asked him if he was mad at me for moving, and he said no, but i really do think something's up. in light of the bomb he dropped on me a couple weeks ago, you know where my mind has been with that. i'm doing what i'm doing for the betterment of myself and, in turn, the relationship, and i told him that. if he can't wait out a few months - and it's not like we're not gonna see each other, i can go down to LI - then maybe he doesn't feel as strongly as i do, anyway, in which case i don't need him.
is it sad that this is still one of the better relationships i've had, and the most emotionally-stable i think i've ever been? lol
did a little more work on packing today, mostly taking down posters and whatnot. i called the storage place today and they're running a special: 5x10 for $55 for the first three months, $82 after that. still a lot less than what everyone had been warning me of, and i don't think i'll need anything bigger than that. i can always pile stuff on the loveseat, or stand it on end... i'm already planning to put the dinette chairs on top of the table lol. unfortunately, the next size bigger is 10x15, and that's much bigger than i need. heh. now i feel compelled to run around and tape-measure everything lol.
oh, man, i suck. i just realized, i had planned to take pictures of all the rooms before i took everything down. *sigh* oh well. (i wish i could put this apartment in my pocket and unfold it into wherever i live.)
i'm also really starting to hate living alone. this place feels so empty when no one else is here. my parents' house is much too full, but even if not a live-in boyfriend, i think i'd like a roommate. or at least a pet that's more interactive lol. oh! i found out that the landpeople have someone moving into the end unit and finally had to give up on their "no dogs" rule. that's why it's taken them so long to rent it. i'd say i wish i woulda known that sooner, but i still wouldn't have been able to afford to keep a dog lol.
speaking of pets, though... i don't deny that i've never quite gotten over Shoshi, so i've had it in my head this year that i wanted to get a black bunny, be it a stuffie or a figurine, to keep in his memory. i'd mentioned this to a couple people in passing and asked them to let me know if they saw anything, because for all the bunnies out this time of year, you're damned to find a black one.
well, today, Shaun stopped by the office door to say hi and ask where his hug was. started wandering away, knowing that i would get up and run after him to yell at him for asking for a hug and then walking away. we chatted for a minute, and when i got back to my desk there was a black stuffed bunny in the middle of it lol. short story long, it turned out to be from Patti, who set Shaun on me to distract me while she snuck in the back entrance of the office. i caught her just as she got out to the elevator and hugged her practically to death. with all the other stress i've been having, i feel so damn touched i keep tearing up every time i look at the bunny lol.