(no subject)
Here is an excerpt of my future novel, Macalister Brown Private Eye. I use the term future loosely, I have completed my work on the book, but it seems no one will publish it for me. I don’t really know why, it’s very good. In fact, why don’t you be the judge of it.
In a gritty turn of events, we last saw our hero, Macalister Brown: Private Eye, wrapped in a carpet, unconscious drifting to the bottom of Lake Chapin.
“We got him this time” exclaimed the Duke, notorious mob boss of Chicago, who was fatter than a rotund man who happened to eat a lot.
“I don’t quite think you did” said Macalister Brown: Private Eye, who was dryer than a towel left in the dryer for two full cycles.
“Macalister Brown: Private Eye! How did you manage to regain consciousness and come out of the lake so fast” mentioned the Duke, startled as much as a sleeping cat who you’ve crept up on, and made scary dog noises, all while wearing a dog mask.
“I don’t care to explain” scoffed Macalister Brown: Private Eye.
“Oh… alright then” said the Duke, as depressed as a penguin who wishes he could fly, but knows his wings are vestigial.
“To the slammer for you” said Macalister Brown: Private Eye, as tough as a one dollar leathery steak that was over cooked for several hours.
“… alright” sighed the Duke, as defeated as a man who escaped prison by hiding in dirty laundry only to find out when he finally makes it to the cleaners they are in another prison across town where rape is totally cool with everyone.
*Later that night*
“Oh Macalister Brown: Private Eye, you are so smart and witty” said Vikki (after hearing the story). Vikki would soon be Macalister Brown: Private Eye’s new woman. He chose her because her knockers were as large as two midgets hiding in boob suits.
Well, that is it for now. I hoped you enjoyed it.
In a gritty turn of events, we last saw our hero, Macalister Brown: Private Eye, wrapped in a carpet, unconscious drifting to the bottom of Lake Chapin.
“We got him this time” exclaimed the Duke, notorious mob boss of Chicago, who was fatter than a rotund man who happened to eat a lot.
“I don’t quite think you did” said Macalister Brown: Private Eye, who was dryer than a towel left in the dryer for two full cycles.
“Macalister Brown: Private Eye! How did you manage to regain consciousness and come out of the lake so fast” mentioned the Duke, startled as much as a sleeping cat who you’ve crept up on, and made scary dog noises, all while wearing a dog mask.
“I don’t care to explain” scoffed Macalister Brown: Private Eye.
“Oh… alright then” said the Duke, as depressed as a penguin who wishes he could fly, but knows his wings are vestigial.
“To the slammer for you” said Macalister Brown: Private Eye, as tough as a one dollar leathery steak that was over cooked for several hours.
“… alright” sighed the Duke, as defeated as a man who escaped prison by hiding in dirty laundry only to find out when he finally makes it to the cleaners they are in another prison across town where rape is totally cool with everyone.
*Later that night*
“Oh Macalister Brown: Private Eye, you are so smart and witty” said Vikki (after hearing the story). Vikki would soon be Macalister Brown: Private Eye’s new woman. He chose her because her knockers were as large as two midgets hiding in boob suits.
Well, that is it for now. I hoped you enjoyed it.