(no subject)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLLJ4sD9JN4
Ryan posted this to my facebook 8 days before he left me.
We were supposed to see them live at Wakarusa June 2nd through the 5th. He was going to drive me and my boyfriend down there, and record us when he proposed to me. We could have heard this song live together.
I just can't understand why he would leave me. We would've experienced such beautiful things. And he did love me so much. I honestly think if there is an afterlife and he realized what he did when he "woke up" on the other side, he would seriously regret what he did. I think he was just fucked up on pills and wasn't thinking right. At least, thats what I keep telling myself to cope with the fact that despite how much he loved me, he still left me.
I don't want to keep posting about this, mostly because I know it will hurt people to read this as much as it hurts me to write it.
I just think this song is so incredibly beautiful, despite being so painful to listen to right now. I think it must be "our song."
Ryan ~ I love you with all my heart. I wish I could tell you that again. But at least I know you left this world knowing how much I love you. I know a lot of people who love you are regretting not telling you enough, and I don't think I could bear the burden of that guilt right now. So I'm just grateful you knew I loved you with every fiber of my being. If I have to go on knowing it wasn't enough, so be it. But at least you knew. I have a hard time believing in an afterlife, but I would give anything to know right now that I'll get to see you again, even if we're just currents of indestructible energy flowing through time and space.
Ryan posted this to my facebook 8 days before he left me.
We were supposed to see them live at Wakarusa June 2nd through the 5th. He was going to drive me and my boyfriend down there, and record us when he proposed to me. We could have heard this song live together.
I just can't understand why he would leave me. We would've experienced such beautiful things. And he did love me so much. I honestly think if there is an afterlife and he realized what he did when he "woke up" on the other side, he would seriously regret what he did. I think he was just fucked up on pills and wasn't thinking right. At least, thats what I keep telling myself to cope with the fact that despite how much he loved me, he still left me.
I don't want to keep posting about this, mostly because I know it will hurt people to read this as much as it hurts me to write it.
I just think this song is so incredibly beautiful, despite being so painful to listen to right now. I think it must be "our song."
Ryan ~ I love you with all my heart. I wish I could tell you that again. But at least I know you left this world knowing how much I love you. I know a lot of people who love you are regretting not telling you enough, and I don't think I could bear the burden of that guilt right now. So I'm just grateful you knew I loved you with every fiber of my being. If I have to go on knowing it wasn't enough, so be it. But at least you knew. I have a hard time believing in an afterlife, but I would give anything to know right now that I'll get to see you again, even if we're just currents of indestructible energy flowing through time and space.