the midnight owl does not know you
Here are the (highly entertaining, to me, anyway) results of the 15 characters meme:
Here are my 15 characters:
1. Natasha Romanoff
2. Steve Rogers
3. Bucky Barnes
4. Darcy Lewis
5. Dick Grayson
6. Stephanie Brown
7. Wendy Watson
8. Kalinda Sharma
9. Toph Bei Fong
10. Sokka
11. Shirley Bennett
12. Lorelai Gilmore
13. Kara Thrace
14. Mal Reynolds
15. River Tam
and here are the answers to your scenarios:
For writingpathways
Natasha (1), Darcy (4), Wendy (7), and Lorelai (12) are roommates, their house is haunted by the very angry spirit of Steve (2). How do they handle it?
I can't imagine Steve Rogers ever being an angry spirit, but Wendy uses a Middlegadget to talk to him and Natasha brings Bucky in to calm him down, and then he becomes a really sweet, slightly overprotective ghost roommate. (Even more than Steve being an angry spirit, I can't imagine Natasha putting up with Wendy, Darcy and Lorelai as roommates, either. She'd spend most of her time on the helicarrier just so she didn't kill one of them for talking too much.)
Bucky (3) and River (15) are in love, Kara (13) does not approve. What happens?
I'm pretty sure Kara beats the crap out of Bucky for taking advantage of a young girl who she believes is too addled to give consent (and he doesn't really put up much of a fight), but she doesn't realize that River knows and trusts Bucky from the Academy - he was one of its first successes, and he's only trying to protect her from falling into their hands again. Once Kara learns that, she teams up with them to take it down from the inside. Possibly she also has a threesome with them after they are victorious. Because that would be hot.
Dick (5) and Steph (6) find out they are the chosen ones to save the Universe from Shirley's (11's) crazy idea of overrunning it with Evil Bunnies. Mal (14) is Shirley's (11's) crazier hitperson.
I love Mal and I love Shirley, but come on, it's Nightwing and Batgirl. It is the Chattiest Robins Ever Team-up and if they can't quip you into surrendering, they'll happily beat the crap out of you. Shirley is mesmerized by Dick's ass flips and shit while Steph takes down Mal. Possibly ice-a-rangs are involved. And puns. The universe is saved!
Kalinda (8) and Toph (9) hate each other, but they are forced together to solve the mystery of the murder of a mutual love, Sokka (10). What will happen?
Well, Kalinda's really good at ferreting out information and Toph is really good at telling when people are lying, so they learn to respect each other's skills when they solve poor Sokka's murder.
*
For greenet
Bucky (3) and Steph (6) in a burning building. Which of them set it on fire and why? How do they get out alive?
Bucky set it on fire accidentally. He didn't realize that the stuff in gooperangs was flammable! Because they are Trained Superheroes, they basically jump out the nearest window and Steph uses her grapple gun to swing them to safety.
Lorelai (12), Toph (9) and Dick (5) are related. What are the family get togethers like?
Oh man, Richard and Emily do not like to bring up the fact that Richard's sister married into the circus (and a Gypsy at that!), so the Grayson name is verboten at Gilmore family dinners for AGES. Lorelai only finds out she and Dick are related when she hits on him when they're both on line at Starbucks in Hartford. Toph was part of the Haly's Circus crew and she attached herself to Dick and basically forced Bruce to take both of them in when he was going to adopt Dick after his parents died, and while Bruce was skeptical at first of her abilities, he's kind of grown used to having an earthbender on his team (she wanted to be called Quake! But Bruce bargained her down to Temblor, and then Dick made it Trembler, to keep the bird theme going and...well, you don't want to run into Trembler in a dark alley in Gotham is what I'm saying, and you definitely don't want to call her that or you might end up with your legs encased in concrete) and she is kind of freaked out by how much Emily and Richard are like her own parents, but she gets over it because Lorelai and Dick smooth the way. Rory is excited to have discovered cousins she never knew! Though everybody demurs when she says she wants to visit Gotham.
Natasha (1) and River (15) had a one night stand, and then there was an apocalypse where Steve (2) was involved, and now River (15) and Natasha (1) are stuck staying together along with Kalinda (8) and Darcy (4) fighting the forces of Steve (2) and Toph (9). Do River (15) and Natasha (1) realise their true love? Do they win? Is Toph (9) secretly good?
Oh my. I can't imagine Steve being on the bad guys' side unless he is mind-controlled, and Toph is undercover trying to break him out, and Natasha and River know ALL ABOUT THAT so they team up to save Steve, and then Kalinda, River, and Natasha take down the real bad guys. I think River and Natasha know that their love is not one for the ages, so they part ways happily, each having learned a few new ways to kill people, and also neat dance moves.
*
For gravenstein23
Steve (2) and Steph (6) are writing a book together. What is it about?
How to be a plucky blond(e) superhero and never say die. And also about how hard it is to come back from being nearly dead/unstuck in time. But mostly the plucky blond(e) thing.
Bucky (3), Darcy (4), and Toph (9) get arrested. What is the crime? Did they do it? How do they get out of this mess?
Ahahahahaha! They get arrested for participating in illegal gambling. They were just trying to shut down that floating illegal craps game, officer! Honest! Bucky can't decide if it's worse if Steve or Natasha comes to get them, but Darcy can't face Steve's disappointed face so she calls Clint, who laughs his ass off and sends Natasha to bail them out and give the police a good talking to.
Natasha never lets them forget that they were sloppy enough to get caught.
Natasha (1), Wendy (7), and Lorelai (12) go on a road trip together. Where are they going? Do they get along?
I can't imagine Natasha would choose to go on a road trip with the other two, so Lorelai is a witness to some intergalactic type crime and Natasha and Wendy are protecting her until she can testify in some intergalactic type court, so it's less like a fun road trip and more like running for their lives but in a very Lorelai Gilmore way (there are playlists! And car games!)
Lorelai and Wendy get on like a house on fire. A highly caffeinated, pop culture soaked house on fire. Natasha refrains from killing them because it would upset Steve and the Middleman and also ruin their case against the aliens.
Oh my god, someone needs to write this for me now.
Dick (5), Kalinda (8), Sokka (10), Shirley (11), and Mal (14)---who is the hitter/hacker/grifter/thief/mastermind?
Sokka's the mastermind. Kalinda is the grifter. Mal is the hitter. Dick is the hacker (Dick could do everything on his own but he likes working with a team and also Kalinda, whose pants he is trying to charm his way into, fairly successfully), which leaves Shirley as the thief.
...I can't see this going well, but only because Dick and Kalinda are distracted. Mal tries to help Sokka with the planning and we all know how Mal's plans go. So. Yeah, no. This is an unfortunately unsuccessful con job. Which may have been Dick's play all along. Subverting crime from within!
Kara (13) and River (15) meet for tea once a week. How did this tradition start?
See above where Kara tried to defend River from Bucky's naughty intentions. They talk about piloting ships and fighting and painting and dancing. And also having sex with Bucky. Which they both are.
I may totally ship this now. *facepalm*
*
For
thingswithwings
Darcy (4) and Sokka (10) are in an arranged marriage/marriage of convenience; do they make it work? Or does the whole thing blow up in two days?
I think they totally make it work - first he doesn't really get her references but they share a love of meat and sarcasm, and once Sokka is introduced to pop tarts, he is never going back. Darcy talks Tony into hiring Sokka for R&D, given his love of inventing, despite his lack of formal education, and it slowly becomes a marriage of love and fun and explosions. And pop tarts.
Steve (2) and River (15) are planning a heist, and Steph (6) is the target. What are they stealing, and do they succeed?
River is good at heists but Steve is terrible at stealth - he can break into stuff, but it's always followed by explosions.
I feel like there are one of two things going on here - Steve is going after the Cluemaster, or Babs has asked him and River to test Steph's new security measures. We will go with the second one, because it's a lot more fun, and Steph ends up making arrangements to train with River, because that girl can move.
Also, how awesomely gentle and sweet would Steve be with River, yet another mind-fucked assassin he reels back from the edge of insanity. <3
Bucky (3), Wendy (7), and Kara (13) are trapped in a spaceship that's hurtling towards the sun. Do they manage to work together to save themselves?
They bicker a lot - Bucky and Kara do a lot of (metaphorical) dick swinging before Wendy reminds them that they are hurtling towards the sun and need to come up with a plan stat. Kara takes control of the ship because she is the godsdamn best pilot in the universe while Wendy and Bucky attempt to hold the ship together with spit and duct tape. Surprisingly, they manage, but they end up sling-shotting back in time to 1984 - oh wait, different movie. *g*
*
For
fluoresce
Steve (Two) and Wendy (Seven) are forming a superhero team to team up and defeat Dick (Five)! Who do they ask to be on their team?
Natasha and Bucky. They only really need Natasha, given Dick's weakness for badass redheads, but Steve likes working with Bucky and Wendy would climb him like a tree, so.
Natasha hits Dick in the head really hard to snap him out of being evil and then they all have sex.
I love how often this meme ends in "and then they all had sex."
*
For
velvetmouse
Natasha (1) and Kalinda (8): more likely to be BFFs or bitter enemies?
HOLY CRAP, CAN I BE A FLY ON THAT WALL?
I think Natasha mentored Kalinda and they had a very close, intimate relationship that ended badly. Oh sweet Jesus, that would be hot.
Dick (5) and Toph (9) have to pull off the fake!boy/girlfriend routine. What advice does River (15) give them?
I'm not sure River is the one you turn to for this, but Dick likes making her feel like part of the group. Dick loves being a boyfriend, so I think he would probably go overboard and freak Toph out, so River probably tells him to dial it down.
Would Wendy (7) ship Lorelai(12)/Mal (14)?
Ha! Wendy is probably one of the few people on this list who would know who both Lorelai and Mal are! I say yes. Mal is sort of like Luke except crankier, and Wendy appreciates Lorelai's need for caffeine and terrible movies, and she would be a lot more fun for him. So yes, Wendy totally ships Lorelai/Mal.
*
For
swatkat
Dick (5), Wendy (7) and Kalinda (8) are now in the DCU. What superpowers do they have? (Pick other characters if they're actually in the DCU!)
I am going to switch Dick with Darcy here, since clearly, Dick is already in the DCU! *g*
Darcy would have electrical powers, like Livewire, except she uses them for good. Mostly. And also tasing asshole dudebros who grope her at concerts and superheroes who condescend to her *cough*Bruce*cough*.
I don't think Wendy needs or wants superpowers, but if she had them, she would have super senses and an eidetic memory and maybe flight, and probably end up working at the DEO.
Kalinda would have no powers except her brain and her ability to convince people to do what she wants. So maybe some low-level charm ability like Gambit (wrong universe, I know!). She would definitely be more ambiguous than the other two, along the lines of Catwoman.
Now I want to see Archie Panjabi play Catwoman. Sigh.
*
For
jenna_thorn
Steve (2), Lorelai (12), and Toph (9) start a garage band. Who plays what and how badly? Who (of the rest of the 15) do they talk into joining them as lead singer?
Lorelai's on tambourine, Toph's on drums (Steve really wants to play drums but he finds it hard to argue with the little blind girl, even if she is amazingly kick ass), and Steve is teaching himself the guitar.
Steve talks Shirley into singing for them by promising not to do anything too racy. With her voice, it doesn't really matter that the rest of them suck. They do a kickass version of "Amazing Grace" that crosses over to the pop charts. It's their only hit before they break up, but not acrimoniously, because even Toph can't stay mad at Steve.
Or, if you prefer, Darcy (4), Steph (6), and Mal (14) - Who's on first, Who's on the mound and who's left field?
Darcy's out in left field, paying more attention to cloud formations and her boyfriend in the bleachers than the game. Steph's on the mound because she has a good arm and pretty good aim. You have to when you're Batgirl. Mal's on first, because he's the only one who actually knows how to play.
*
For
marinarusalka
Dick (5), Bucky (3) and Shirley (11) are competing in the Olympics. What are their events, and how do they do?
Dick is a gymnast - canonically even - and though he absolutely has the talent to win the gold, he doesn't place because Bruce doesn't want him drawing the attention. (The fight they had when Dick even made the team was epic and heartbreaking.)
Bucky does that skiing and shooting thing and he has no qualms about beating the crap out of the competition, so he goes home with a gold from the Winter Olympics.
Shirley "Big Cheddar" Bennett wins the first ever gold medal in Olympic foosball, with her partner Jeff Winger. It's the first time a Greendale alumna has ever won anything.
Lorelai (12) challenges Kara (13) to a duel to defend Toph's (9's) honor. How did Kara (13) offend? How does Toph (9) react? What's the outcome of the duel?
I love Lorelai, but she had to have been HIGH to challenge Kara to a duel, unless it's going to play out via Dance Dance Revolution or something. Toph is irritated - she can fight her own battles, thank you very much! And doesn't need Lorelai defending her from every jerk who thinks she can't because she's blind. She kicks Kara's ass herself and then they all go out for drinks after.
*
For
snacky
Wendy (7) and Lorelai (12) team up to break Steph (6), who has been wrongly imprisoned, out of jail. What goes wrong? :D
What DOESN'T go wrong? Wendy knows better, but she lets Lorelai talk her into some crazy convoluted scheme involving a nun's habit, a greased pig and a shotput. Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne's lawyer has straightened everything out and Steph isn't even there when Wendy and Lorelai finally get inside. So they give up and go for coffee.
Kalinda (8) and River (15) find a puppy and decide to take him home. Unfortunately, their roommate Darcy (6) is allergic to dogs. What could go wrong?
Are we sure the dog isn't actually Sirius Black? Because then Darcy would totally keep him as he turns into Gary Oldman a man and she's not allergic to him. *cough*
Anyway, Darcy convinces Steve and Bucky to take the dog in so it can have a home and River can visit. (If Kalinda were a pet person, she'd have a cat, or possibly a highly venomous snake, so she just sort of steps back and lets River and Darcy sort it out.)
Steve (2) and Dick (5) are head over heels in love, and Bucky (3) is incredibly jealous. What does Bucky (3) do to thwart their romance?
He takes up with Jason Todd.
I... wow, I kind of can't do this to Bucky. It turns out it was all a plot by Dick and Steve to make Bucky jealous and also clue him into the fact that Steve was in love with him. And then Dick and Jason go back to Gotham to have angsty makeouts while Steve and Bucky cuddle in Brooklyn.
I'M SORRY. I HAVE A LOT OF BUCKY FEELS, OKAY?
*
For
silveronthetree
Bucky (3), Steph (6) and Shirley (11) meet for coffee, what do they order? And when Toph (9) turns up and interrupts their coffee, what is their first reaction?
Steph and Shirley discuss "The Voice" and also Shirley's plans for a sandwich shop. Bucky grunts and drinks his fancy caffeinated beverage and wishes he and Steph were still home in bed (yes, somehow I leapt to Bucky/Steph here. Just go with me.) so when Toph shows up, he seizes on her presence as someone else for Shirley to bore with her business plan and drags Steph home on the pretext that they left the stove on. (They're lucky Shirley is a romantic, and thinks they're sweet. She and Toph end up business partners and with the Bei Fong name and money behind them, they put Subway out of business in three years.)
*
For
thefourthvine
Natasha (1) and Bucky (3) are left in charge of a small child for a day. Does Natasha (1) survive? Does Bucky (3)? DOES THE PLANET? (The child's survival is assumed.)
Oh my god, this prompt gives me a lot of FEELINGS. We are going to go with the happy version! Yes! Natasha survives! And gets to see the mother hennish side of Bucky that previously only Steve has ever brought out in him as they care for a small child left in their care by people who clearly have NO IDEA that children should not be left with MASTER ASSASSINS except in EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES.
Bucky's answers to the kid's repeated question start to get more elaborate and false (he would say creative and entertaining) early on, so that by the end of the day, she believes that the moon really is made of green cheese, that the tooth fairy does exist and is really just Captain America in disguise, and that nothing bad ever happens to dogs or rabbits. He gives piggyback rides and pushes her on the swings and convinces Natasha to go down the slide to show her that it's fun and nothing bad happens at the bottom! (Natasha hasn't been on a slide since-possibly ever, and Bucky doesn't like to think about that, because she's actually smiling, which is like full-on belly laughter from anyone else.) And then they have ice cream for lunch and Natasha finds them a face painter and balloon animal vendor in the park and then they go to the carousel, but she doesn't like the fancy horses so Bucky has to ride with her while Natasha stands guard next to them.
Bucky is EXHAUSTED when they finally get to hand the kid back to her parents and Natasha's glowing with wistful happiness. (Possibly then Rikki comes to the universe and they adopt her and it is all HAPPY BARNES-ROMANOFF-ROGERS FAMILY GOOD TIMES).
Steve (2), Darcy (4), and Steph (6) are stuck in an elevator together for four hours. Is it one long awkward pause? Elevator sexytimes? Something in between?
It starts awkward and ends in really hot threesome makeouts until Steph remembers that there are cameras in the elevator and suggests they take the party back upstairs to their apartment. Steph and Darcy are roommates! Possibly they know about each other's sekrit crime fighting other jobs (Darcy is a SHIELD analyst; Steph is still Batgirl) but maybe not. Until they get stuck in an elevator with Captain America and Darcy can't pretend she doesn't know him, because he clearly doesn't know he's not supposed to know her.
"Oh my god, Steph, I told you that broken elevator would work in our favor one day!" Darcy murmurs after they get Steve inside the apartment, but before they get their clothes off, and Steph just beams because hello, no one in Gotham is going to believe this one and Dick and Tim are going to be SO JEALOUS (though not, perhaps, for the same reasons).
Steve is just sort of overwhelmed with girly chatter and bemused but willing to go along as they kiss each other and him and slowly strip him of his plaid shirt and khaki pants and he gets a long, slow, thorough education in how to go down on a woman and he is totally a breast man and both Darcy and Steph are well endowed in that category and so he learns all about supportive yet pretty bras and also titty-fucking.
I... I really want someone to write this now. Probably that someone will be me.
Dick (5) and River (15) swap lives with each other - Dick's (5's) personality ends up in Rivers (15's) body and life, and vice versa. Do they manage to keep it together? Do they learn any Important Life Lessons? Do they ever get back to their actual lives? Do they even want to?
Oh wow. Dick makes River suddenly and shocking lucid, and also who knew she could move like that? Dance and fight, yes, but where did that walking on her hands thing come from? Also, she suddenly now has a problem with guns and crime? Mal is not pleased and Simon just wants his sister back and Kaylee and Inara are kind of taken aback by how flirty she suddenly is, but Zoe is having none of that nonsense and she's the one who gets the story out of Dick!River about the zeta beam accident.
River, otoh, does not hold it together at all. Luckily, she's caught Bruce in one of his less jerktastic stages - he really can be good with traumatized kids and that's what River essentially is -- and Alfred and Babs and Cass and Steph and Tim are all there to help even though it's freaking them out a little that Dick is suddenly a 17 year old girl who can maybe read minds and also handle all Dick's flips and shit with aplomb but who freaks out about the bats. Cass understands, though, and she and River become BFF. <3 ASSASSIN BABIES. (Possibly Damian hangs around being cranky.)
After some help from Adam Strange, they do switch back eventually, and both are grateful for it.
Wendy (7) and Mal (14) wake up with no memory of the night before, in a trashed hotel room, with a marriage certificate. In both their names. OH GOD WHAT NOW?
Mal, having been through something similar in the past, takes it seriously this time, and Wendy is sure the Clotharians are somehow to blame. While working together to piece together the events of the previous evening, they realize that they're really attracted to each other, but have no desire to be shackled together for the rest of their lives. So they have really hot sex, discover that the Clotharians were in fact behind everything, save Las Vegas from aliens, and then go their separate ways with fond memories and annulment certificates in their pockets.
Kalinda (8) and Kara (13) must go undercover! In disguise! For JUSTICE! Or crime, if they are not justice-y types. What do they go as? How does it work out? Do they solve the crime (or commit it, depending)?
Kara's really bad at undercover, but she poses as Kalinda's bodyguard. Kalinda poses as a really wealthy and reclusive widow who checks into the spa resort where really rich ladies have been disappearing. Kalinda's wiles and Kara's ability to out drink and out fight anyone get them through and they eventually discover the evil doers and bring them do justice.
Toph (9) and Lorelai (12) go on a retreat. Seven days of silence, meditation, cotton robes, and a light vegan diet. Do they have profound revelations? Do they develop new and exciting neuroses? Does someone die? How does it work out?
Toph doesn't mind the spa experience for a couple of hours, but she's really angry Katara booked her into this place for a week.Lorelai, of course, can't handle the vegan diet or the silence, so after a day (mani-pedi, facial, massage), they bust out together.
Sokka (10) and Shirley (11) get hit with a de-inhibitor, as in the TOS episode Naked Time. Is there crying? Sex? Violence? Sex, violence, AND crying? Telling people to fuck off? Declaring a formal party in the bowling alley?
There's some crying about Sokka's vague mommy issues, and Shirley comforts him because he reminds her of Troy and of her boys, but then he discovers her culinary talents and there is The Cooking. The invention of ever more meaty and glorious sandwiches for Shirley's sandwich shop, and mouthwatering, gravity-defying desserts built with Sokka's inventor's brain and Shirley's funding from the Bei Fong family (see above).
*
For
boxofdelights
River (15) and Kara (13) are next-door neighbors. What is Kara's (13's) gardening style, and what does River (15) think of it? How does Kara (13) react when River (15) brings over a bowl of perfectly ripe homegrown strawberries?
Kara's gardening style is to let everything get overgrown and then take a machete to it when the neighborhood committee complains. River helps her design a more orderly and yet still aesthetically pleasing garden, that someone ends up in the shape of the mandala that adorns all of Kara's paintings.
Kara is thrilled when River brings her strawberries, because she hadn't had them in forever and River always remembers how amazing those first strawberries tasted on Serenity. Also, they're a peace offering after that initial nastiness between Kara and Bucky (see above). Things only get friendlier from there.
*
I hope you found that as entertaining as I did. *g* I love everyone in this bar! this meme!
*
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/464257.html.
people have commented there.
Here are my 15 characters:
1. Natasha Romanoff
2. Steve Rogers
3. Bucky Barnes
4. Darcy Lewis
5. Dick Grayson
6. Stephanie Brown
7. Wendy Watson
8. Kalinda Sharma
9. Toph Bei Fong
10. Sokka
11. Shirley Bennett
12. Lorelai Gilmore
13. Kara Thrace
14. Mal Reynolds
15. River Tam
and here are the answers to your scenarios:
For writingpathways
Natasha (1), Darcy (4), Wendy (7), and Lorelai (12) are roommates, their house is haunted by the very angry spirit of Steve (2). How do they handle it?
I can't imagine Steve Rogers ever being an angry spirit, but Wendy uses a Middlegadget to talk to him and Natasha brings Bucky in to calm him down, and then he becomes a really sweet, slightly overprotective ghost roommate. (Even more than Steve being an angry spirit, I can't imagine Natasha putting up with Wendy, Darcy and Lorelai as roommates, either. She'd spend most of her time on the helicarrier just so she didn't kill one of them for talking too much.)
Bucky (3) and River (15) are in love, Kara (13) does not approve. What happens?
I'm pretty sure Kara beats the crap out of Bucky for taking advantage of a young girl who she believes is too addled to give consent (and he doesn't really put up much of a fight), but she doesn't realize that River knows and trusts Bucky from the Academy - he was one of its first successes, and he's only trying to protect her from falling into their hands again. Once Kara learns that, she teams up with them to take it down from the inside. Possibly she also has a threesome with them after they are victorious. Because that would be hot.
Dick (5) and Steph (6) find out they are the chosen ones to save the Universe from Shirley's (11's) crazy idea of overrunning it with Evil Bunnies. Mal (14) is Shirley's (11's) crazier hitperson.
I love Mal and I love Shirley, but come on, it's Nightwing and Batgirl. It is the Chattiest Robins Ever Team-up and if they can't quip you into surrendering, they'll happily beat the crap out of you. Shirley is mesmerized by Dick's ass flips and shit while Steph takes down Mal. Possibly ice-a-rangs are involved. And puns. The universe is saved!
Kalinda (8) and Toph (9) hate each other, but they are forced together to solve the mystery of the murder of a mutual love, Sokka (10). What will happen?
Well, Kalinda's really good at ferreting out information and Toph is really good at telling when people are lying, so they learn to respect each other's skills when they solve poor Sokka's murder.
*
For greenet
Bucky (3) and Steph (6) in a burning building. Which of them set it on fire and why? How do they get out alive?
Bucky set it on fire accidentally. He didn't realize that the stuff in gooperangs was flammable! Because they are Trained Superheroes, they basically jump out the nearest window and Steph uses her grapple gun to swing them to safety.
Lorelai (12), Toph (9) and Dick (5) are related. What are the family get togethers like?
Oh man, Richard and Emily do not like to bring up the fact that Richard's sister married into the circus (and a Gypsy at that!), so the Grayson name is verboten at Gilmore family dinners for AGES. Lorelai only finds out she and Dick are related when she hits on him when they're both on line at Starbucks in Hartford. Toph was part of the Haly's Circus crew and she attached herself to Dick and basically forced Bruce to take both of them in when he was going to adopt Dick after his parents died, and while Bruce was skeptical at first of her abilities, he's kind of grown used to having an earthbender on his team (she wanted to be called Quake! But Bruce bargained her down to Temblor, and then Dick made it Trembler, to keep the bird theme going and...well, you don't want to run into Trembler in a dark alley in Gotham is what I'm saying, and you definitely don't want to call her that or you might end up with your legs encased in concrete) and she is kind of freaked out by how much Emily and Richard are like her own parents, but she gets over it because Lorelai and Dick smooth the way. Rory is excited to have discovered cousins she never knew! Though everybody demurs when she says she wants to visit Gotham.
Natasha (1) and River (15) had a one night stand, and then there was an apocalypse where Steve (2) was involved, and now River (15) and Natasha (1) are stuck staying together along with Kalinda (8) and Darcy (4) fighting the forces of Steve (2) and Toph (9). Do River (15) and Natasha (1) realise their true love? Do they win? Is Toph (9) secretly good?
Oh my. I can't imagine Steve being on the bad guys' side unless he is mind-controlled, and Toph is undercover trying to break him out, and Natasha and River know ALL ABOUT THAT so they team up to save Steve, and then Kalinda, River, and Natasha take down the real bad guys. I think River and Natasha know that their love is not one for the ages, so they part ways happily, each having learned a few new ways to kill people, and also neat dance moves.
*
For gravenstein23
Steve (2) and Steph (6) are writing a book together. What is it about?
How to be a plucky blond(e) superhero and never say die. And also about how hard it is to come back from being nearly dead/unstuck in time. But mostly the plucky blond(e) thing.
Bucky (3), Darcy (4), and Toph (9) get arrested. What is the crime? Did they do it? How do they get out of this mess?
Ahahahahaha! They get arrested for participating in illegal gambling. They were just trying to shut down that floating illegal craps game, officer! Honest! Bucky can't decide if it's worse if Steve or Natasha comes to get them, but Darcy can't face Steve's disappointed face so she calls Clint, who laughs his ass off and sends Natasha to bail them out and give the police a good talking to.
Natasha never lets them forget that they were sloppy enough to get caught.
Natasha (1), Wendy (7), and Lorelai (12) go on a road trip together. Where are they going? Do they get along?
I can't imagine Natasha would choose to go on a road trip with the other two, so Lorelai is a witness to some intergalactic type crime and Natasha and Wendy are protecting her until she can testify in some intergalactic type court, so it's less like a fun road trip and more like running for their lives but in a very Lorelai Gilmore way (there are playlists! And car games!)
Lorelai and Wendy get on like a house on fire. A highly caffeinated, pop culture soaked house on fire. Natasha refrains from killing them because it would upset Steve and the Middleman and also ruin their case against the aliens.
Oh my god, someone needs to write this for me now.
Dick (5), Kalinda (8), Sokka (10), Shirley (11), and Mal (14)---who is the hitter/hacker/grifter/thief/mastermind?
Sokka's the mastermind. Kalinda is the grifter. Mal is the hitter. Dick is the hacker (Dick could do everything on his own but he likes working with a team and also Kalinda, whose pants he is trying to charm his way into, fairly successfully), which leaves Shirley as the thief.
...I can't see this going well, but only because Dick and Kalinda are distracted. Mal tries to help Sokka with the planning and we all know how Mal's plans go. So. Yeah, no. This is an unfortunately unsuccessful con job. Which may have been Dick's play all along. Subverting crime from within!
Kara (13) and River (15) meet for tea once a week. How did this tradition start?
See above where Kara tried to defend River from Bucky's naughty intentions. They talk about piloting ships and fighting and painting and dancing. And also having sex with Bucky. Which they both are.
I may totally ship this now. *facepalm*
*
For
thingswithwings
Darcy (4) and Sokka (10) are in an arranged marriage/marriage of convenience; do they make it work? Or does the whole thing blow up in two days?
I think they totally make it work - first he doesn't really get her references but they share a love of meat and sarcasm, and once Sokka is introduced to pop tarts, he is never going back. Darcy talks Tony into hiring Sokka for R&D, given his love of inventing, despite his lack of formal education, and it slowly becomes a marriage of love and fun and explosions. And pop tarts.
Steve (2) and River (15) are planning a heist, and Steph (6) is the target. What are they stealing, and do they succeed?
River is good at heists but Steve is terrible at stealth - he can break into stuff, but it's always followed by explosions.
I feel like there are one of two things going on here - Steve is going after the Cluemaster, or Babs has asked him and River to test Steph's new security measures. We will go with the second one, because it's a lot more fun, and Steph ends up making arrangements to train with River, because that girl can move.
Also, how awesomely gentle and sweet would Steve be with River, yet another mind-fucked assassin he reels back from the edge of insanity. <3
Bucky (3), Wendy (7), and Kara (13) are trapped in a spaceship that's hurtling towards the sun. Do they manage to work together to save themselves?
They bicker a lot - Bucky and Kara do a lot of (metaphorical) dick swinging before Wendy reminds them that they are hurtling towards the sun and need to come up with a plan stat. Kara takes control of the ship because she is the godsdamn best pilot in the universe while Wendy and Bucky attempt to hold the ship together with spit and duct tape. Surprisingly, they manage, but they end up sling-shotting back in time to 1984 - oh wait, different movie. *g*
*
For
fluoresce
Steve (Two) and Wendy (Seven) are forming a superhero team to team up and defeat Dick (Five)! Who do they ask to be on their team?
Natasha and Bucky. They only really need Natasha, given Dick's weakness for badass redheads, but Steve likes working with Bucky and Wendy would climb him like a tree, so.
Natasha hits Dick in the head really hard to snap him out of being evil and then they all have sex.
I love how often this meme ends in "and then they all had sex."
*
For
velvetmouse
Natasha (1) and Kalinda (8): more likely to be BFFs or bitter enemies?
HOLY CRAP, CAN I BE A FLY ON THAT WALL?
I think Natasha mentored Kalinda and they had a very close, intimate relationship that ended badly. Oh sweet Jesus, that would be hot.
Dick (5) and Toph (9) have to pull off the fake!boy/girlfriend routine. What advice does River (15) give them?
I'm not sure River is the one you turn to for this, but Dick likes making her feel like part of the group. Dick loves being a boyfriend, so I think he would probably go overboard and freak Toph out, so River probably tells him to dial it down.
Would Wendy (7) ship Lorelai(12)/Mal (14)?
Ha! Wendy is probably one of the few people on this list who would know who both Lorelai and Mal are! I say yes. Mal is sort of like Luke except crankier, and Wendy appreciates Lorelai's need for caffeine and terrible movies, and she would be a lot more fun for him. So yes, Wendy totally ships Lorelai/Mal.
*
For
swatkat
Dick (5), Wendy (7) and Kalinda (8) are now in the DCU. What superpowers do they have? (Pick other characters if they're actually in the DCU!)
I am going to switch Dick with Darcy here, since clearly, Dick is already in the DCU! *g*
Darcy would have electrical powers, like Livewire, except she uses them for good. Mostly. And also tasing asshole dudebros who grope her at concerts and superheroes who condescend to her *cough*Bruce*cough*.
I don't think Wendy needs or wants superpowers, but if she had them, she would have super senses and an eidetic memory and maybe flight, and probably end up working at the DEO.
Kalinda would have no powers except her brain and her ability to convince people to do what she wants. So maybe some low-level charm ability like Gambit (wrong universe, I know!). She would definitely be more ambiguous than the other two, along the lines of Catwoman.
Now I want to see Archie Panjabi play Catwoman. Sigh.
*
For
jenna_thorn
Steve (2), Lorelai (12), and Toph (9) start a garage band. Who plays what and how badly? Who (of the rest of the 15) do they talk into joining them as lead singer?
Lorelai's on tambourine, Toph's on drums (Steve really wants to play drums but he finds it hard to argue with the little blind girl, even if she is amazingly kick ass), and Steve is teaching himself the guitar.
Steve talks Shirley into singing for them by promising not to do anything too racy. With her voice, it doesn't really matter that the rest of them suck. They do a kickass version of "Amazing Grace" that crosses over to the pop charts. It's their only hit before they break up, but not acrimoniously, because even Toph can't stay mad at Steve.
Or, if you prefer, Darcy (4), Steph (6), and Mal (14) - Who's on first, Who's on the mound and who's left field?
Darcy's out in left field, paying more attention to cloud formations and her boyfriend in the bleachers than the game. Steph's on the mound because she has a good arm and pretty good aim. You have to when you're Batgirl. Mal's on first, because he's the only one who actually knows how to play.
*
For
marinarusalka
Dick (5), Bucky (3) and Shirley (11) are competing in the Olympics. What are their events, and how do they do?
Dick is a gymnast - canonically even - and though he absolutely has the talent to win the gold, he doesn't place because Bruce doesn't want him drawing the attention. (The fight they had when Dick even made the team was epic and heartbreaking.)
Bucky does that skiing and shooting thing and he has no qualms about beating the crap out of the competition, so he goes home with a gold from the Winter Olympics.
Shirley "Big Cheddar" Bennett wins the first ever gold medal in Olympic foosball, with her partner Jeff Winger. It's the first time a Greendale alumna has ever won anything.
Lorelai (12) challenges Kara (13) to a duel to defend Toph's (9's) honor. How did Kara (13) offend? How does Toph (9) react? What's the outcome of the duel?
I love Lorelai, but she had to have been HIGH to challenge Kara to a duel, unless it's going to play out via Dance Dance Revolution or something. Toph is irritated - she can fight her own battles, thank you very much! And doesn't need Lorelai defending her from every jerk who thinks she can't because she's blind. She kicks Kara's ass herself and then they all go out for drinks after.
*
For
snacky
Wendy (7) and Lorelai (12) team up to break Steph (6), who has been wrongly imprisoned, out of jail. What goes wrong? :D
What DOESN'T go wrong? Wendy knows better, but she lets Lorelai talk her into some crazy convoluted scheme involving a nun's habit, a greased pig and a shotput. Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne's lawyer has straightened everything out and Steph isn't even there when Wendy and Lorelai finally get inside. So they give up and go for coffee.
Kalinda (8) and River (15) find a puppy and decide to take him home. Unfortunately, their roommate Darcy (6) is allergic to dogs. What could go wrong?
Are we sure the dog isn't actually Sirius Black? Because then Darcy would totally keep him as he turns into Gary Oldman a man and she's not allergic to him. *cough*
Anyway, Darcy convinces Steve and Bucky to take the dog in so it can have a home and River can visit. (If Kalinda were a pet person, she'd have a cat, or possibly a highly venomous snake, so she just sort of steps back and lets River and Darcy sort it out.)
Steve (2) and Dick (5) are head over heels in love, and Bucky (3) is incredibly jealous. What does Bucky (3) do to thwart their romance?
He takes up with Jason Todd.
I... wow, I kind of can't do this to Bucky. It turns out it was all a plot by Dick and Steve to make Bucky jealous and also clue him into the fact that Steve was in love with him. And then Dick and Jason go back to Gotham to have angsty makeouts while Steve and Bucky cuddle in Brooklyn.
I'M SORRY. I HAVE A LOT OF BUCKY FEELS, OKAY?
*
For
silveronthetree
Bucky (3), Steph (6) and Shirley (11) meet for coffee, what do they order? And when Toph (9) turns up and interrupts their coffee, what is their first reaction?
Steph and Shirley discuss "The Voice" and also Shirley's plans for a sandwich shop. Bucky grunts and drinks his fancy caffeinated beverage and wishes he and Steph were still home in bed (yes, somehow I leapt to Bucky/Steph here. Just go with me.) so when Toph shows up, he seizes on her presence as someone else for Shirley to bore with her business plan and drags Steph home on the pretext that they left the stove on. (They're lucky Shirley is a romantic, and thinks they're sweet. She and Toph end up business partners and with the Bei Fong name and money behind them, they put Subway out of business in three years.)
*
For
thefourthvine
Natasha (1) and Bucky (3) are left in charge of a small child for a day. Does Natasha (1) survive? Does Bucky (3)? DOES THE PLANET? (The child's survival is assumed.)
Oh my god, this prompt gives me a lot of FEELINGS. We are going to go with the happy version! Yes! Natasha survives! And gets to see the mother hennish side of Bucky that previously only Steve has ever brought out in him as they care for a small child left in their care by people who clearly have NO IDEA that children should not be left with MASTER ASSASSINS except in EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES.
Bucky's answers to the kid's repeated question start to get more elaborate and false (he would say creative and entertaining) early on, so that by the end of the day, she believes that the moon really is made of green cheese, that the tooth fairy does exist and is really just Captain America in disguise, and that nothing bad ever happens to dogs or rabbits. He gives piggyback rides and pushes her on the swings and convinces Natasha to go down the slide to show her that it's fun and nothing bad happens at the bottom! (Natasha hasn't been on a slide since-possibly ever, and Bucky doesn't like to think about that, because she's actually smiling, which is like full-on belly laughter from anyone else.) And then they have ice cream for lunch and Natasha finds them a face painter and balloon animal vendor in the park and then they go to the carousel, but she doesn't like the fancy horses so Bucky has to ride with her while Natasha stands guard next to them.
Bucky is EXHAUSTED when they finally get to hand the kid back to her parents and Natasha's glowing with wistful happiness. (Possibly then Rikki comes to the universe and they adopt her and it is all HAPPY BARNES-ROMANOFF-ROGERS FAMILY GOOD TIMES).
Steve (2), Darcy (4), and Steph (6) are stuck in an elevator together for four hours. Is it one long awkward pause? Elevator sexytimes? Something in between?
It starts awkward and ends in really hot threesome makeouts until Steph remembers that there are cameras in the elevator and suggests they take the party back upstairs to their apartment. Steph and Darcy are roommates! Possibly they know about each other's sekrit crime fighting other jobs (Darcy is a SHIELD analyst; Steph is still Batgirl) but maybe not. Until they get stuck in an elevator with Captain America and Darcy can't pretend she doesn't know him, because he clearly doesn't know he's not supposed to know her.
"Oh my god, Steph, I told you that broken elevator would work in our favor one day!" Darcy murmurs after they get Steve inside the apartment, but before they get their clothes off, and Steph just beams because hello, no one in Gotham is going to believe this one and Dick and Tim are going to be SO JEALOUS (though not, perhaps, for the same reasons).
Steve is just sort of overwhelmed with girly chatter and bemused but willing to go along as they kiss each other and him and slowly strip him of his plaid shirt and khaki pants and he gets a long, slow, thorough education in how to go down on a woman and he is totally a breast man and both Darcy and Steph are well endowed in that category and so he learns all about supportive yet pretty bras and also titty-fucking.
I... I really want someone to write this now. Probably that someone will be me.
Dick (5) and River (15) swap lives with each other - Dick's (5's) personality ends up in Rivers (15's) body and life, and vice versa. Do they manage to keep it together? Do they learn any Important Life Lessons? Do they ever get back to their actual lives? Do they even want to?
Oh wow. Dick makes River suddenly and shocking lucid, and also who knew she could move like that? Dance and fight, yes, but where did that walking on her hands thing come from? Also, she suddenly now has a problem with guns and crime? Mal is not pleased and Simon just wants his sister back and Kaylee and Inara are kind of taken aback by how flirty she suddenly is, but Zoe is having none of that nonsense and she's the one who gets the story out of Dick!River about the zeta beam accident.
River, otoh, does not hold it together at all. Luckily, she's caught Bruce in one of his less jerktastic stages - he really can be good with traumatized kids and that's what River essentially is -- and Alfred and Babs and Cass and Steph and Tim are all there to help even though it's freaking them out a little that Dick is suddenly a 17 year old girl who can maybe read minds and also handle all Dick's flips and shit with aplomb but who freaks out about the bats. Cass understands, though, and she and River become BFF. <3 ASSASSIN BABIES. (Possibly Damian hangs around being cranky.)
After some help from Adam Strange, they do switch back eventually, and both are grateful for it.
Wendy (7) and Mal (14) wake up with no memory of the night before, in a trashed hotel room, with a marriage certificate. In both their names. OH GOD WHAT NOW?
Mal, having been through something similar in the past, takes it seriously this time, and Wendy is sure the Clotharians are somehow to blame. While working together to piece together the events of the previous evening, they realize that they're really attracted to each other, but have no desire to be shackled together for the rest of their lives. So they have really hot sex, discover that the Clotharians were in fact behind everything, save Las Vegas from aliens, and then go their separate ways with fond memories and annulment certificates in their pockets.
Kalinda (8) and Kara (13) must go undercover! In disguise! For JUSTICE! Or crime, if they are not justice-y types. What do they go as? How does it work out? Do they solve the crime (or commit it, depending)?
Kara's really bad at undercover, but she poses as Kalinda's bodyguard. Kalinda poses as a really wealthy and reclusive widow who checks into the spa resort where really rich ladies have been disappearing. Kalinda's wiles and Kara's ability to out drink and out fight anyone get them through and they eventually discover the evil doers and bring them do justice.
Toph (9) and Lorelai (12) go on a retreat. Seven days of silence, meditation, cotton robes, and a light vegan diet. Do they have profound revelations? Do they develop new and exciting neuroses? Does someone die? How does it work out?
Toph doesn't mind the spa experience for a couple of hours, but she's really angry Katara booked her into this place for a week.Lorelai, of course, can't handle the vegan diet or the silence, so after a day (mani-pedi, facial, massage), they bust out together.
Sokka (10) and Shirley (11) get hit with a de-inhibitor, as in the TOS episode Naked Time. Is there crying? Sex? Violence? Sex, violence, AND crying? Telling people to fuck off? Declaring a formal party in the bowling alley?
There's some crying about Sokka's vague mommy issues, and Shirley comforts him because he reminds her of Troy and of her boys, but then he discovers her culinary talents and there is The Cooking. The invention of ever more meaty and glorious sandwiches for Shirley's sandwich shop, and mouthwatering, gravity-defying desserts built with Sokka's inventor's brain and Shirley's funding from the Bei Fong family (see above).
*
For
boxofdelights
River (15) and Kara (13) are next-door neighbors. What is Kara's (13's) gardening style, and what does River (15) think of it? How does Kara (13) react when River (15) brings over a bowl of perfectly ripe homegrown strawberries?
Kara's gardening style is to let everything get overgrown and then take a machete to it when the neighborhood committee complains. River helps her design a more orderly and yet still aesthetically pleasing garden, that someone ends up in the shape of the mandala that adorns all of Kara's paintings.
Kara is thrilled when River brings her strawberries, because she hadn't had them in forever and River always remembers how amazing those first strawberries tasted on Serenity. Also, they're a peace offering after that initial nastiness between Kara and Bucky (see above). Things only get friendlier from there.
*
I hope you found that as entertaining as I did. *g* I love everyone in this bar! this meme!
*
This entry at DW: http://musesfool.dreamwidth.org/464257.html.
people have commented there.