#113 Heartbeat, Byou(Screw)/Ena(xTRiPx), oneshot
Title: Heartbeat
Chapter: oneshot
Author: murderis
Mystery Pairing(band): Byou(Screw)/Ena(xTRiPx)
Challenge Set #: 4
Theme: Emotions #031. Frustration
Rating: PG
Warnings: nothing really.
Disclaimer: I just own story and my stupid fantasy.
Summary: "Byou, I lost it."
Comments: Kinda… based on my own experience. I don’t play drums or whatever, but I know how bad it feels to lose a spark of doing something. And I like drama A LOT, so if you don't like it please don't mind that over dramatic scene :D Hope you like it! Comments are cookies. Criticism is too. Written for mystery_pairing @ lj. (my lj doesn't let me to enter mystery_pairing as a community D: )
Byou entered his apartment and, as always, yelled:
“I’m back!”
But instead of usual ‘welcome home’ he was greeted by somewhat monotonous drum banging. At first he thought that Ena was practicing so he shouldn’t disturb him, but something was wrong with that rhythm. Even a 3 year old kid could play drums like that.
He went into their practicing room and found his lover sitting there, beating his drums with such a frustrated look on his face. And since he had never seen him like this, he walked over and gently kissed Ena’s cheek.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“Byou, I can’t.”
“What do you mean?” Ena turned to Byou with almost tearful eyes. They sat in silence like this for some time, but then Ena just couldn’t stand it anymore. He wrapped his hands around Byou’s neck and let all his feeling out. His tears were flowing almost unstoppable, making Ena’s cheeks wet and Byou’s shoulders damp.
“Byou, I lost it. I lost my spark to play drums. I should have new notes by now, but I just can’t play. I can’t think of anything!” He sobbed painfully and Byou tightened his hold of his boyfriend. “When did it happen? Why did it happen? I don’t want to cause problems to the band, but I just don’t know what to do. There’s no inspiration no matter where I look for it.”
Byou just listened to what Ena was telling him, but he didn’t know what to do or say. All he could offer was holding his lover and listening to his painful words and sobbing, which was twice as painful.
“Byou, I don’t want to… I don’t want to quit. I don’t want to be replaced.”
It broke Byou’s heart. He couldn’t help the person he cared for the most and it broke his heart into million little pieces.
“Ena, dear… Maybe… Maybe Jin could help you? I can call him. You’re both drummers, maybe he could do something for you, because… I don’t think I can really do something for you in this situation. Sorry.”
“Thanks, but no. Don’t you have these kind of moments? When you feel helpless, but don’t want anyone’s help.”
Byou lightly nodded. He could understand it and there was nothing more to say.
They sat holding each other until Ena calmed down and breathed out a quiet “thanks for hearing me out”. Byou remembered he got pizza, which had to be already cold by that time. But they had to eat something, right?
***
Ena placed his head on Byou’s bare chest. Byou has fallen asleep long ago, but Ena, of course, couldn’t sleep. He thought about what should he do. But these thoughts didn’t lead him anywhere, so he stopped thinking. Instead, he started listening to the silence.
Ena was living here for a long time already, but he never thought that this room’s silence could sound like this. Silent rustling of the sheets, calm Byou’s breathing, Byou’s heartbeat. That heartbeat sounded so calm compared to Ena’s. That heartbeat was the most beautiful thing Ena has ever heard.
Suddenly, a hand wrapped Ena’s shoulder.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I’m listening.”
“What to?”
“To your heartbeat.” Ena took Byou’s hand in his and lightly squeezed it.
“Why?”
“Because it sounds nice.” Byou quietly laughed at those words and kissed Ena’s head.
“Go to sleep, babe. You have work tomorrow, right?”
Ena didn’t answer. He wanted to listen to Byou’s heartbeat as long as possible. And when Byou’s breathing calmed again, he got free from his lover’s hands. He silently got off of the bed, quietly whispered “sorry Byou” and went to their practicing room. Soon enough, Byou was standing in the door frame. Ena lifted his head and smiled.
“Ena, what are you doing? You know what time it is, right? Neighbours will call the police. Come on, let’s go to sleep.”
Ena ignored Byou’s speech and continued playing. Byou snapped.
“Ena… Your playing… What’s that?”
“Your heartbeat.”
Chapter: oneshot
Author: murderis
Mystery Pairing(band): Byou(Screw)/Ena(xTRiPx)
Challenge Set #: 4
Theme: Emotions #031. Frustration
Rating: PG
Warnings: nothing really.
Disclaimer: I just own story and my stupid fantasy.
Summary: "Byou, I lost it."
Comments: Kinda… based on my own experience. I don’t play drums or whatever, but I know how bad it feels to lose a spark of doing something. And I like drama A LOT, so if you don't like it please don't mind that over dramatic scene :D Hope you like it! Comments are cookies. Criticism is too. Written for mystery_pairing @ lj. (my lj doesn't let me to enter mystery_pairing as a community D: )
Byou entered his apartment and, as always, yelled:
“I’m back!”
But instead of usual ‘welcome home’ he was greeted by somewhat monotonous drum banging. At first he thought that Ena was practicing so he shouldn’t disturb him, but something was wrong with that rhythm. Even a 3 year old kid could play drums like that.
He went into their practicing room and found his lover sitting there, beating his drums with such a frustrated look on his face. And since he had never seen him like this, he walked over and gently kissed Ena’s cheek.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“Byou, I can’t.”
“What do you mean?” Ena turned to Byou with almost tearful eyes. They sat in silence like this for some time, but then Ena just couldn’t stand it anymore. He wrapped his hands around Byou’s neck and let all his feeling out. His tears were flowing almost unstoppable, making Ena’s cheeks wet and Byou’s shoulders damp.
“Byou, I lost it. I lost my spark to play drums. I should have new notes by now, but I just can’t play. I can’t think of anything!” He sobbed painfully and Byou tightened his hold of his boyfriend. “When did it happen? Why did it happen? I don’t want to cause problems to the band, but I just don’t know what to do. There’s no inspiration no matter where I look for it.”
Byou just listened to what Ena was telling him, but he didn’t know what to do or say. All he could offer was holding his lover and listening to his painful words and sobbing, which was twice as painful.
“Byou, I don’t want to… I don’t want to quit. I don’t want to be replaced.”
It broke Byou’s heart. He couldn’t help the person he cared for the most and it broke his heart into million little pieces.
“Ena, dear… Maybe… Maybe Jin could help you? I can call him. You’re both drummers, maybe he could do something for you, because… I don’t think I can really do something for you in this situation. Sorry.”
“Thanks, but no. Don’t you have these kind of moments? When you feel helpless, but don’t want anyone’s help.”
Byou lightly nodded. He could understand it and there was nothing more to say.
They sat holding each other until Ena calmed down and breathed out a quiet “thanks for hearing me out”. Byou remembered he got pizza, which had to be already cold by that time. But they had to eat something, right?
***
Ena placed his head on Byou’s bare chest. Byou has fallen asleep long ago, but Ena, of course, couldn’t sleep. He thought about what should he do. But these thoughts didn’t lead him anywhere, so he stopped thinking. Instead, he started listening to the silence.
Ena was living here for a long time already, but he never thought that this room’s silence could sound like this. Silent rustling of the sheets, calm Byou’s breathing, Byou’s heartbeat. That heartbeat sounded so calm compared to Ena’s. That heartbeat was the most beautiful thing Ena has ever heard.
Suddenly, a hand wrapped Ena’s shoulder.
“Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I’m listening.”
“What to?”
“To your heartbeat.” Ena took Byou’s hand in his and lightly squeezed it.
“Why?”
“Because it sounds nice.” Byou quietly laughed at those words and kissed Ena’s head.
“Go to sleep, babe. You have work tomorrow, right?”
Ena didn’t answer. He wanted to listen to Byou’s heartbeat as long as possible. And when Byou’s breathing calmed again, he got free from his lover’s hands. He silently got off of the bed, quietly whispered “sorry Byou” and went to their practicing room. Soon enough, Byou was standing in the door frame. Ena lifted his head and smiled.
“Ena, what are you doing? You know what time it is, right? Neighbours will call the police. Come on, let’s go to sleep.”
Ena ignored Byou’s speech and continued playing. Byou snapped.
“Ena… Your playing… What’s that?”
“Your heartbeat.”