late night rantings....
been waniting to post, but haven't really had time. don't really have time now seeing as i have to get up in less than 5 hours to go to work. god i hate work.
been thinking alot lately about how much i hate work and how much it sucks that i am 26 with 2 degrees and working at starbucks....a job that i could have gotten right out of high school. actually i wouldn't of even had to graduate high school to get the job that i currently have. makes me feel like i've been wasting the last almost 10 years of my life. why did i rack up all this debt to go to school? has it really helped me at all? it doesn't seem so to me.
of course i did have a job that i had gotten through and because of my schooling. a job that i was actually qualified for. a job that i enjoyed going to. hell i even drove 2 hours to get there. i'm talking about my job at gsu in chicago. you know that job that i was offered to keep full time and turned down in order to move here. it flickered across my mind at the time that that was a bad decision that i might come to regret, and what do you know....i think that i regret it. i mean portland is great and all, but it isn't that wonderful. so far it doesn't have anything more to offer than chicago or madison. sure it is close to the ocean and mountains and stuff, but i have neither the time nor energy to appreciate them. i have to get a 2nd job if i want to continue living here, and that will leave me with zero free time to spend enjoying the city that i have moved to. it seems to me that i would be better off in chicago. a city that also has cool stores, intresting people, and many things to do. the difference is that if i had moved there i would actually have a job that paid me well, that i enjoyed, and that allowed me both the time and money to appreciate what chicago had to offer. as a bonus i would also be closer to my family and i have friends from school. lg, and madison there.
oh well though. shoulda, coulda, didn'ta. that ship has sailed and i guess that i am here for better or for worse. no use dwelling on it. now all i can do is keep on trolling through the classifieds and hope that i come across something wonderful soon. something that will give my life some purpose, or at least add some sort of tangible benefit to my future. of course with the stuff that i am finding that doesn't seem entirely possible. i won't be surprised if i actually have to get a job pumping people's gas. hell then at least i would probably be able to pump my own. i guess that is something.
been thinking alot lately about how much i hate work and how much it sucks that i am 26 with 2 degrees and working at starbucks....a job that i could have gotten right out of high school. actually i wouldn't of even had to graduate high school to get the job that i currently have. makes me feel like i've been wasting the last almost 10 years of my life. why did i rack up all this debt to go to school? has it really helped me at all? it doesn't seem so to me.
of course i did have a job that i had gotten through and because of my schooling. a job that i was actually qualified for. a job that i enjoyed going to. hell i even drove 2 hours to get there. i'm talking about my job at gsu in chicago. you know that job that i was offered to keep full time and turned down in order to move here. it flickered across my mind at the time that that was a bad decision that i might come to regret, and what do you know....i think that i regret it. i mean portland is great and all, but it isn't that wonderful. so far it doesn't have anything more to offer than chicago or madison. sure it is close to the ocean and mountains and stuff, but i have neither the time nor energy to appreciate them. i have to get a 2nd job if i want to continue living here, and that will leave me with zero free time to spend enjoying the city that i have moved to. it seems to me that i would be better off in chicago. a city that also has cool stores, intresting people, and many things to do. the difference is that if i had moved there i would actually have a job that paid me well, that i enjoyed, and that allowed me both the time and money to appreciate what chicago had to offer. as a bonus i would also be closer to my family and i have friends from school. lg, and madison there.
oh well though. shoulda, coulda, didn'ta. that ship has sailed and i guess that i am here for better or for worse. no use dwelling on it. now all i can do is keep on trolling through the classifieds and hope that i come across something wonderful soon. something that will give my life some purpose, or at least add some sort of tangible benefit to my future. of course with the stuff that i am finding that doesn't seem entirely possible. i won't be surprised if i actually have to get a job pumping people's gas. hell then at least i would probably be able to pump my own. i guess that is something.