late night revalations...
i've wanted to post a lot lately, but have been stopping myself in an attemp to save you all from my complaining. i'll admit that complaining is really what i do best, and one of my favorite pastimes, but there is only so much i can type really.
things here are alright i guess. everyday is pretty much the same. i go to the gym and then work, or vice versa, then come home and watch some tv and read some comics. sometimes i go out and do something fun (like checking out the beer at bridgeport, wandering through a haunted maze, chillin' and eatin way too many cupcakes at jenifer's part, ect), but generally i'm a bit of a homebody and have to really make myself to go out and do something. mostly i just want to sit at home and lounge. this is pretty much what my life was like in wisconsin, except it was lack of physical proximity to anything fun as opposed to laziness that made me a homebody.
in some ways i do regret moving out here. not because there is anything wrong with portland. it is a great place actually and i could see myself liking it here under different circumstances. it just feels like a bit of a waste to have hauled all my shit all the way here. i am essentially doing the exact same thing here as i was in wisconsin, only there i was able to save money and here my bills outweigh my income. by my calculations i should be entering negitive funds in a few months, which is really just something i'm trying not to think about.
but i did realize today that in the end i'm glad that i moved here. it may not be working out as i planned, but it did get my ass in gear and got me really thinking about what the hell i want to do with myself. i was too comfortable in wisconsin. i can totally see myself having taken the job in chicago and moving there. i would have been relatively happy with my job and hanging with my friends there, and it would have taken me a while to leave or do anything else.
since moving here i have seriously been looking into grad history programs, preparing for the gre, and looking into grants and fellowships. i've even figured out what kind of history program i want to do (and am a bit excited about it). it feels like i have been just biding my time since graduating from madison. i went to new zealand thinking it would give me some time to figure out what to do next. then i went to gsu thinking that while i was trying to figure it out i might as well get a degree so i wasn't totally wasting my time. then i thought why not go to portland while trying to figure it out. i've always wanted to go there and it is as good a place as any. now i finally think i know what i want to do. lets see if i still feel that way in a few months, but i'm hopeful. which is better than i've been in years i suppose.
things here are alright i guess. everyday is pretty much the same. i go to the gym and then work, or vice versa, then come home and watch some tv and read some comics. sometimes i go out and do something fun (like checking out the beer at bridgeport, wandering through a haunted maze, chillin' and eatin way too many cupcakes at jenifer's part, ect), but generally i'm a bit of a homebody and have to really make myself to go out and do something. mostly i just want to sit at home and lounge. this is pretty much what my life was like in wisconsin, except it was lack of physical proximity to anything fun as opposed to laziness that made me a homebody.
in some ways i do regret moving out here. not because there is anything wrong with portland. it is a great place actually and i could see myself liking it here under different circumstances. it just feels like a bit of a waste to have hauled all my shit all the way here. i am essentially doing the exact same thing here as i was in wisconsin, only there i was able to save money and here my bills outweigh my income. by my calculations i should be entering negitive funds in a few months, which is really just something i'm trying not to think about.
but i did realize today that in the end i'm glad that i moved here. it may not be working out as i planned, but it did get my ass in gear and got me really thinking about what the hell i want to do with myself. i was too comfortable in wisconsin. i can totally see myself having taken the job in chicago and moving there. i would have been relatively happy with my job and hanging with my friends there, and it would have taken me a while to leave or do anything else.
since moving here i have seriously been looking into grad history programs, preparing for the gre, and looking into grants and fellowships. i've even figured out what kind of history program i want to do (and am a bit excited about it). it feels like i have been just biding my time since graduating from madison. i went to new zealand thinking it would give me some time to figure out what to do next. then i went to gsu thinking that while i was trying to figure it out i might as well get a degree so i wasn't totally wasting my time. then i thought why not go to portland while trying to figure it out. i've always wanted to go there and it is as good a place as any. now i finally think i know what i want to do. lets see if i still feel that way in a few months, but i'm hopeful. which is better than i've been in years i suppose.