homesick...
what to say. i had a great weekend. Friday was full of rosie thomas goodness. saturday i hung out with lee and jenifer. we ate amazing food and then looked at pictures and talked about comic books, carmike, and everything else till the wee hours of the morning. sunday i traversed around mt. tabor and shoped a bit on hawthorne st. tonight jan and i went to a theater near here and saw the veronica mars season 3 premiere on the big screen. it was super fun and i loved it, although i do want more logany goodness in my life. all of this is wonderful and i realize that i should be loving portland, but i am starting to feel a bit depressed. i think that it is just me trying to adjust to a new sitation.
i find myself feeling really nostolgic about wisconsin, and almost looking for things to hate about portland. i certainly trash this place at every little oportunity and find myself defending wisconsin often. but when i look back i guess it makes sense. I cried myself to sleep many a night when i first moved to new zealand, and constantly asked myself if i had made a mistake moving there, but by the end i didn't want to leave. of course now i look back at it through rose colored glasses and envy every moment i was there wishing i could be back again. I keep thinking of the adjustment period there and telling myself to be patient but it is hard. i'm feeling really homesick. i miss watching tv over the paper with my mom and a cup of coffee in the morning. i miss walking to and from town with huxley. i miss cuddling up with razz and watching buffy and angel. i miss having a beer with my dad at harpoon willy's or in our room at the holiday home. i even miss the holiday home and working at my job in chicago. i knew that i liked that job, but only now that i am here do i realize how hard it is going to get another job that i like as much.
i had my 1st shift at my new starbucks here last night. it was okay. i mean there was nothing to complain about really. it was different than the starbucks in lg, but the people were okay and the shift wasn't that bad. still i hated it. i have no real reason, but i did. even though i have no money and am stressed about it i am super happy that my next shift is days away. working just made me feel so bad. when i got off my shift i called starbucks in lg and talked to lisa, my manager there. people that i worked with with there were yelling "hello," "love ya" and "i miss you" in the background. i ending up breaking down and crying. i just missed everyone so much and wanted to be back there. i tried to pretend that everything was okay, but i think that lisa knew. she started telling me how great i am and how soon i would find my place in portland. i know that she is right, but it is just so hard to get by this period.
i find myself feeling really nostolgic about wisconsin, and almost looking for things to hate about portland. i certainly trash this place at every little oportunity and find myself defending wisconsin often. but when i look back i guess it makes sense. I cried myself to sleep many a night when i first moved to new zealand, and constantly asked myself if i had made a mistake moving there, but by the end i didn't want to leave. of course now i look back at it through rose colored glasses and envy every moment i was there wishing i could be back again. I keep thinking of the adjustment period there and telling myself to be patient but it is hard. i'm feeling really homesick. i miss watching tv over the paper with my mom and a cup of coffee in the morning. i miss walking to and from town with huxley. i miss cuddling up with razz and watching buffy and angel. i miss having a beer with my dad at harpoon willy's or in our room at the holiday home. i even miss the holiday home and working at my job in chicago. i knew that i liked that job, but only now that i am here do i realize how hard it is going to get another job that i like as much.
i had my 1st shift at my new starbucks here last night. it was okay. i mean there was nothing to complain about really. it was different than the starbucks in lg, but the people were okay and the shift wasn't that bad. still i hated it. i have no real reason, but i did. even though i have no money and am stressed about it i am super happy that my next shift is days away. working just made me feel so bad. when i got off my shift i called starbucks in lg and talked to lisa, my manager there. people that i worked with with there were yelling "hello," "love ya" and "i miss you" in the background. i ending up breaking down and crying. i just missed everyone so much and wanted to be back there. i tried to pretend that everything was okay, but i think that lisa knew. she started telling me how great i am and how soon i would find my place in portland. i know that she is right, but it is just so hard to get by this period.