The telephone is ringing. Is that my mother on the phone?
No.
Ring ring ring. I go look: restricted number and well after midnight at that. I don't answer. A minute passes.
Ring ring ring. Ah, unrestricted. Good boy, other than the whole after-midnight thing. I answer.
"Hi, is this the fetish place?"
"We have a dungeon, yes."
"Are there any girls available?"
"Our hours are 10am-10pm."
"10pm! 10pm?!" Shocked tones.
"Yes, 10am to 10pm."
"So you're closed?
"Since our hours are 10am to 10pm, yes we are."
"Oh, wow. OK."
"Bye now."
Someone called earlier today saying he was looking for "a piece of ass". Someone else called wanting a foot worship session and asked about nudity. I said he was welcome to be nude. "But not the girls?" "No, that's what the (I glance at the nurse in my hospital room) costumes are for." "Oh, well thanks anyway."
The print ad we've been running for the second week in a row in Westword is paying for itself, but I also get all these other calls. Sigh. The most frequent requests are for ass worship. Apparently, this is now a euphemism for "rim jobs", or I'm just naive. When I tell people it's only allowed outside of undies, it's a dealbreaker. We're also getting a lot of cuckolding calls. People grasp the concept well enough that they don't get to have sex with the mistress when money is involved, but somehow think that us having sex with someone else in a paid session would be OK. I have no idea how that'd look in court, but that's an intimacy I wouldn't be sharing with a total stranger regardless.
And then there was last week's guy that emailed repeatedly, saying he wasn't into all that pain stuff and just wanted a dominant handjob. He sent the same email, copied and pasted, about five times. Each time, I'd write back "That is not a service we offer" and he'd come back with the same copied/pasted text about how that's too bad, cuz he really wants a nice, slow, teasing dominant handjob. He didn't stop til I emailed back "This is not a service we offer", copied and pasted about 20x.
I try to imagine myself being the person on the other end and what kind of headspace I'd have to be in to email or phone with the things they're saying. Sometimes stuff just don't make no sense atall.
Ring ring ring. I go look: restricted number and well after midnight at that. I don't answer. A minute passes.
Ring ring ring. Ah, unrestricted. Good boy, other than the whole after-midnight thing. I answer.
"Hi, is this the fetish place?"
"We have a dungeon, yes."
"Are there any girls available?"
"Our hours are 10am-10pm."
"10pm! 10pm?!" Shocked tones.
"Yes, 10am to 10pm."
"So you're closed?
"Since our hours are 10am to 10pm, yes we are."
"Oh, wow. OK."
"Bye now."
Someone called earlier today saying he was looking for "a piece of ass". Someone else called wanting a foot worship session and asked about nudity. I said he was welcome to be nude. "But not the girls?" "No, that's what the (I glance at the nurse in my hospital room) costumes are for." "Oh, well thanks anyway."
The print ad we've been running for the second week in a row in Westword is paying for itself, but I also get all these other calls. Sigh. The most frequent requests are for ass worship. Apparently, this is now a euphemism for "rim jobs", or I'm just naive. When I tell people it's only allowed outside of undies, it's a dealbreaker. We're also getting a lot of cuckolding calls. People grasp the concept well enough that they don't get to have sex with the mistress when money is involved, but somehow think that us having sex with someone else in a paid session would be OK. I have no idea how that'd look in court, but that's an intimacy I wouldn't be sharing with a total stranger regardless.
And then there was last week's guy that emailed repeatedly, saying he wasn't into all that pain stuff and just wanted a dominant handjob. He sent the same email, copied and pasted, about five times. Each time, I'd write back "That is not a service we offer" and he'd come back with the same copied/pasted text about how that's too bad, cuz he really wants a nice, slow, teasing dominant handjob. He didn't stop til I emailed back "This is not a service we offer", copied and pasted about 20x.
I try to imagine myself being the person on the other end and what kind of headspace I'd have to be in to email or phone with the things they're saying. Sometimes stuff just don't make no sense atall.