(no subject)
Things are starting to fall apart. My life is like looking into a beautiful glass etching, and seeing cracks all the way through it without having it shatter yet. Things are becoming more complex. Life is going to get a lot harder, and no one is going to make it better.
I don't think I'll ever understand anyone in my life. Everyone has something about them that I can't figure out. I guess that's reality. But why is it that everytime I thing something is finished, it isn't? I want my life to be less ridiculous. I want certain people to wake up and realize that shit will not continue to be easy. Life isn't the gravey train we all want it to be. Nothing works automatically, everything has a hitch that's just waiting to be discovered.
GOD fucking DAMNIT.
So today I read more of On the Road, I love it. What a crazy cat. Really. But lately I've been stuck in this depressing understanding. The more lives that I get to see and experiance, the more unrealistic expectations I gain for my life. The unrealistic expectations that I gain for my life, the more I realize what a completely miserable soul I am going to end up. I don't know what kind of a higher understanding, we, as a human race, are supposed to gain out of existance. For some it's the satisfaction of existance, for some it is the prospect of some sort of after life or happy ending, for some its a path to finalization, for some its the search to leave their mark in history. But for me, right now, I just can't help but think, what can I do, people aren't really going to remember anything I do eons from now, so what does that matter, why look forward to an afterlife, when all I've got proof of is right here and right now, what do I do this for. I mean why should I continue to get an education, and work, and read, and do anything? Why should I live.
Lately philosophy keeps bugging me. I mean existance is a big deal that is held over our heads. I mean even if there is a god, WHY? What are we, as a civilization working for? I mean, it seems to me, the more and more we evolve as human beings and discover sciences and streams of thought, the less and less we evolve and creatures that are dependant on this planet. I mean correct me, and I do mean correct me if I don't get this right, but is not the theory of evolution that the more we evolve, the more we should survive? It seems as though we are only evolving to extinction. I mean the longer humans learn to preserve life, i.e. life expectancy is growing with every generation, the more life there is all at one time to support on this planet. The more life to support, the less resources the are for everybody.
I've become under the opinion that society cannot exist successfully with both science as in chemistry, biology, as in the greater understanding of the way everything works and can be developed as a whole, and with science as in philosophy. You can't try to figure out the later, when you are busy trying to preserve the now.
I don't know. that was a huge tangent from trying to talk about my day. Oh well
I don't think I'll ever understand anyone in my life. Everyone has something about them that I can't figure out. I guess that's reality. But why is it that everytime I thing something is finished, it isn't? I want my life to be less ridiculous. I want certain people to wake up and realize that shit will not continue to be easy. Life isn't the gravey train we all want it to be. Nothing works automatically, everything has a hitch that's just waiting to be discovered.
GOD fucking DAMNIT.
So today I read more of On the Road, I love it. What a crazy cat. Really. But lately I've been stuck in this depressing understanding. The more lives that I get to see and experiance, the more unrealistic expectations I gain for my life. The unrealistic expectations that I gain for my life, the more I realize what a completely miserable soul I am going to end up. I don't know what kind of a higher understanding, we, as a human race, are supposed to gain out of existance. For some it's the satisfaction of existance, for some it is the prospect of some sort of after life or happy ending, for some its a path to finalization, for some its the search to leave their mark in history. But for me, right now, I just can't help but think, what can I do, people aren't really going to remember anything I do eons from now, so what does that matter, why look forward to an afterlife, when all I've got proof of is right here and right now, what do I do this for. I mean why should I continue to get an education, and work, and read, and do anything? Why should I live.
Lately philosophy keeps bugging me. I mean existance is a big deal that is held over our heads. I mean even if there is a god, WHY? What are we, as a civilization working for? I mean, it seems to me, the more and more we evolve as human beings and discover sciences and streams of thought, the less and less we evolve and creatures that are dependant on this planet. I mean correct me, and I do mean correct me if I don't get this right, but is not the theory of evolution that the more we evolve, the more we should survive? It seems as though we are only evolving to extinction. I mean the longer humans learn to preserve life, i.e. life expectancy is growing with every generation, the more life there is all at one time to support on this planet. The more life to support, the less resources the are for everybody.
I've become under the opinion that society cannot exist successfully with both science as in chemistry, biology, as in the greater understanding of the way everything works and can be developed as a whole, and with science as in philosophy. You can't try to figure out the later, when you are busy trying to preserve the now.
I don't know. that was a huge tangent from trying to talk about my day. Oh well