The Most Important Meal of the Day
The Rift, for once, was quiet. Myfanwy was out, probably doing unspeakable things to unlucky sheep, for which there would be recompense if the sheep’s owner could be identified, but that was for later; and the rest of the team had been given the day off, barring the end of the world.
It was a perfect time for Sunday brunch.
Jack carried the cups and carafe of coffee to the conference room while Ianto put their breakfast items on a tray.
When Ianto entered the conference room, Jack was idly finishing a chain of daisies.
Ianto put the tray down. “Aren’t those the daisies Rhys got Gwen?” he asked.
Jack shrugged. “She wasn’t doing anything but letting them sit in the vase.”
“I believe that’s the purpose of giving flowers, Ianto pointed out. “They sit in the vase so their beauty can be admired.”
Jack waved his hand dismissively. “Boring. Come here.”
“Why?” Ianto asked suspiciously, not moving.
“Because I want you to wear this,” Jack said, as though it were the most reasonable request in the world.
“You want me wear a chain of daisies?” Ianto asked incredulously.
Jack nodded, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
Well. Then again, the daisies were no worse than the Unit cap Jack loved so much, and infinitely better than the cowboy outfit Jack had insisted on wearing every night last week, mostly, Ianto suspected, so he could yell “ride ‘em, cowboy!” every time things got - intense. Ianto had finally stuffed the bandanna in the other man’s mouth just to shut him up.
So, maybe, so this was actually a mild request -- “ Um… you do mean wear them on my head...” Ianto gestured toward his hair. As daft as Jack could be, it was better to clarify these things beforehand.
“We-ell,” Jack drawled, “I’d have loved to put it somewhere else, too, but I didn’t have enough daisies.”
And he flashed the Harkness grin at Ianto.
And really, that grin should be classified as a lethal weapon, because who could possibly resist it? Ianto didn’t even try. He just leaned down so Jack could place the daisies on his head.
Jack admired the white flowers against Ianto’s dark hair, and gave Ianto a quick kiss.
“What a sight I must make,” Ianto said.
“What a sight indeed,” Jack said fervently.
Ianto shook his head, blushing. “Let’s have breakfast, shall we?”
“We shall,” Jack agreed solemnly.
Ianto looked over the assortment of breakfast foods he’d brought up. There was enough to feed a battalion of the Queen’s Army, but then, Jack’s appetite was always voracious.
He ate a lot too.
Ianto cleared his throat, finding it a bit hard to breathe. “So, honey or jelly?”
“Definitely jelly.”
“Raspberry or orange marmalade?”
“Oh, it must be marmalade.” He paused. “I love how you say marmalade. Makes me feel tingly.”
“It’s the Welsh vowels, Jack. Everything I say makes you feel tingly.”
Ianto spread the marmalade carefully on the smooth surface. He knew that some people - alright, everyone he’d ever met -- considered him obsessive-compulsive, but if a job was worth doing, it was worth doing well he always said.
He plucked the small sausages off the warmer. Perfect, they were warm but not hot. “Yes I have maple syrup,” he said when Jack opened his mouth. “Though what your obsession with maple syrup is I will never understand.” He put the sausage patties in place and spooned small dollops of syrup on each.
“It’s warm, it’s sticky, it’s fun to lick off your -“
“Enough,” Ianto interrupted in his schoolmaster voice.
“Fingers, I was going to say fingers!” Jack protested indignantly.
“Uh-huh.”
“Are you going to be done soon? Because I’m starving,” Jack complained.
“Perfection can not be hurried,” Ianto said placidly, arranging banana slices to his approval. He popped a banana chunk in Jack’s mouth. “That should tide you over.”
He glanced at Jack munching on the piece of banana and laughed. “You always look like you’re remembering a private joke when you eat bananas. Is it because they remind you of something else? Something - connected to me? Pun intended.” He winked at Jack and grinned.
Jack grinned back. “No, Mr. Smugness, that is not why.” He thought about it. Then he thought about it some more. A small shudder shimmied across his stomach. “Well, okay, that’s one of the reasons. But not the only one. It’s just -“ uh, no, no reason to bring the Doctor into this most pleasant conversation -“they make me happy. And they’re a good source of potassium, you know.”
“I do know,” Ianto said, laying strawberries next to the bananas. He was reaching for the whipped cream when the Hub alarms went off.
A once-in-a-trillion-years event had occurred: one of their teammates had voluntarily come to work on a day off.
Ianto and Jack froze, staring toward the door.
“Maybe they won’t see us,” Jack whispered loudly.
“Jack, this is the only room lit and the walls are made of glass. Whoever it is has already seen our shapes.” And why Jack was whispering was anyone’s guess.
They heard footsteps running up the stairs. “Jack!” Owen yelled, “I couldn’t sleep last night and figured out how to neutralize -“
Owen stopped dead at the door to the conference room, mouth frozen open in shock.
He gaped at Ianto, wearing nothing but a crown of daisies, now slipped rakishly across one brow.
He gaped at Jack, sprawled nonchalantly on the conference table, wearing nothing but breakfast foods and a wide smile.
The smile that showed all his teeth.
The smile that was almost as dangerous as Jack’s grin.
Ianto loved that smile. Owen thought it made Jack look like a bloody big shark.
“Just in time for breakfast!” Jack boomed cheerfully. “Come join us.”
“Of course, we are adhering strictly to the ‘no tie’ policy,” Ianto chimed in.
“No tie, no shirt…”
“… no shirt, no trousers…”
“…no trousers, no - anything,” Jack finished. He and Ianto beamed at each other.
Owen backed up. “I am going to find some bleach,” he said tightly, “to see if I can scour this image from my mind. You two carry on any way you want to. But for god’s sake, wash the table after you’re done!”
“As if I wouldn’t!” Ianto said acerbically.
Jack just chuckled. He knew that, he wasn’t going to be doing any cleaning.
They listened as Owen fled the Hub.
Ianto looked at Jack, currently acting as the most sublime serving platter in the world, and shook his head sadly. “Some people,” he tutted, “ just have no concept of the importance of good plating.”