Ambivalence
Fandom- Gossip Girl
Pairing- Dan/Nate
Rating- PG
Word Count- 764
Prompt- For margottenenbaum Sometimes the space between knowing what to do and actually doing it is a very short walk. Other times it is an impossible expanse.
Disclaimer- I don't own this! I'm just borrowing it for awhile.
Six months later
They never did talked again, Vanessa and Nate. Why? That was for Dan to never tell anyone about, even Gossip Girl couldn't wrap her finger around it.
As Lonely Boy spent his remaining months as a senior at Nate’s side while Vanessa return to her life in Vermont with her parents, he couldn’t help but think about what Vanessa said before she left.
Maybe someone should talk to Nate about what’s happening. Someone, not him. Yes he shouldn't, he'll be going against what he said to Vanessa a few months ago. Don’t interfere; it’s not your place to judge or say anything when no one ask for your opinion. But if Dan really cares about Nate then he should tell him the truth, right? Even though it will leave Nate getting pissed like last time.
He's so excited too, that's the part that kills Dan the most. To think it will be his fault Nate's happines would be erase because he had to open his mouth.
XXXXXX
Then the day finally came.
"I can even participate in the meetings the mayor attends, sin't that cool! You know- to see up in person how his work is really done. I can't wait."
It was becoming harder to smile under these nauseating conditions. Dan was trying, it was the guilt that was eating him alive. The more Nate talked about that damn internship the more he felt like jumping out of the window.
Dan mumbled, "Right coming from the same guy who fell asleep in all of his government and politic classes."
He didn't mean to say it aloud for Nate to hear but it was too late. Dan mentally kicked himself repeatedly until Nate's eyes fell on him. Strangely he didn't give the well known Natefused appearance; but it was his eyes that said it all. Instead of the soft and gorgeous gaze, his eyes look as if they were piercing through Dan's flushed face.
Soon a strange laugh that didn't really sound like a laugh echoe in the room, "I know I know, I'm the worst guy for this job but I'm seriously happy about this opportunity my grandfather got me and I will take it seriously. I wish you could come."
Dan moved from one side of the room to the other, trying anything to tone down his jitteriness and frustration.
"Yea it's nice, you don't hear a lot of graduating seniors saying they are going to spend the majority of their summer incarcerated in an office."
Nate's lips were about to curved into a smile until he looked Dan's facial expression. Failing to notice the war of ambivalence Dan’s brain was caught in.
"Are you okay?”
"Excuse me?"
"You're acting weird today?" By weird he meant pessimistic.
"I have no idea what you are talking about..."
Nate pushed his bag aside, "If you have something on your mind you know you can tell me right?"
Dan spent five seconds exhaling uncoherent noises, stuttering and shaking his head at the same time.
Then he stopped and calmy spoke, "Nate."
"Yea."
"Are you sure about this?"
"Sure about what?"
"This 'thing' you are doing."
"Dan," Nate chuckled, "It just an internship. Why are you taking this so seriousl-"
Dan interrupted him, "Not the internship, it's more than that. This whole thing with your grandfather, don't you think this going overboard."
Nate’s voice started out playful then his tone change, "What the hell does that supposed to mean?"
"I know you want to repair the relationship you had with grandfather but this isn't helping, your spending more time making him happy than yourself."
“Do you know how stupid you sound right now?”
“I know this is something you don’t want to hear but come on. You know what Vanessa was trying to tell you had some truth to it.”
Nate started packing again, instead of neatly piling his clothes inside the luggage; he threw each pair of shirts and pants one by one. “All I wanted was my friends and my girlfriend at the time to be happy for me but all I get is this bullshit. For once Dan can you not be a judgmental prick with a chip on his shoulder all the time.”
“You can call me whatever you want but at least I'm not hiding from what's really going on here. However, if you want to be another Tripp Van der bilt clone then be my guest.” He stormed out of the room without looking back, still second guessing himself.