Ambivalence
Fandom- Gossip Girl
Pairing- Dan/Nate
Rating- PG
Word Count- 694
Prompt- Formargottenenbaum Sometimes the space between knowing what to do and actually doing it is a very short walk. Other times it is an impossible expanse.
Disclaimer- I don't own this! I'm just borrowing it for awhile.
What seem so small, so tiny became nothing more but an infinite cavern that had no end to it. One act he tried to commit in order to save his best friend (and lover) became the same plague that corrupted and ended Nate’s previous relationship. Now he's alone again. Vanessa was gone and now Nate was too.
Don't worry; the conversation never came to reality. It spent days locked away in Dan's subconscious for no one to hear but himself until its existence was forgotten. Dan didn't want to go through with it, no matter how much he knew it was the right thing to do. He couldn't face the consequences of doing for what was needed to be done. Yes he's coward but he's a coward in love.
Loneliness is an environment Dan is adapted to, it not only was something he was always trapped in but it became part of him. It molded him into the person who he was today; the nervous, shy, bookworm that was also an intellectual snob. However, ever since he became friends with Nate (the only guy friend he had in his entire 18 years of living) he's actually scared to go back to that lifestyle he grew up in. Becoming that same boy who everyone ignored was not who he wanted to be for the rest of his life.
So he did what he try to tell Vanessa, remain quiet.
A group of butlers place Nate's bag into the trunk, while Dan and Nate said their goodbyes.
"I'll call you when I get there."
"Okay." Dan didn't sound so convincing but it was enough to trick Nate.
The other boy smiled and kiss Dan on the check.
He waved goodbye before Nate got into the limo and observed the vehicle drive further away until in disappear from his sight.
Two weeks later
“Maybe I’m not as sharp as I used to be but didn’t you say you weren’t coming back in three months.”
“Yea, you see…what happen was-” The uncertainty in Nate’s voice triggered concern in Dan.
He let Nate inside and led him into the kitchen to get them something to drink. “May I ask what happen?”
“It started out fine but I had to quit.”
Dan passed a soda to Nate while he kept his, waiting for him to continue.
“I don’t how to say this.”
Now Dan was getting more worried, “What the hell happen in that office?”
He shook his head in disappointment, “The mayor tried to hit on me.”
When Dan popped the lid open, a loud sizzle escape from the bottle. Usually that was the same sound that always rattled Dan but not now. “W-Wait wait a minute-huh? Are you positive?”
He took a sip from his drink, “Oh yea.”
“Okay maybe you misinterpreted a friendly gesture or something. It can’t be, the mayor of New York is engaged to this woman he knew since middle school.”
“Dude, this guy is on the DL for sure. One afternoon, he puts his hand on my back and started rubbing it while I was filing his documents at my desk. Then his face is inches away from mine saying I smell 'nice'.”
Dan got closer, still not believing what’s he is hearing. “What did you do?”
“I hurried and got my ass out of there. I wanted to punch him but I didn't want to get arrested on spot. After I left I told my grandfather, he tried to make it up to me with a trip to the Hamptons with him to meet some his colleagues.” Nate had to take another sip from his drink; it was becoming hard to swallow now.
“Oh.”
“He was persistent but I turn him down gently.” He laid his head on Dan’s shoulder, “I think I should have a real vacation before school starts at Columbia. Being sexually assualted is too much to handle.”
Dan’s eyes looked over Nate who was staring at his drink, “Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your summer in Brooklyn.”
“As long as you’re here.”
終わり Owari / THE END