Here's to cheers
In order to spur on the lads wearing the stars and stripes (no longer, it appears, the scars and strife) in their upcoming match against the African nation Ghana, I've helped to provide some cheers, which we seem to be lacking. As stated by Sports Illustrated writer Rick Reilly: "All we have is that crappy old U-S-A! U-S-A! chant. A stoned ferret could've thought of that one." So without further ado, here are three Ryan-created cheers designed to give American fans something to yell about and hopefully inspire our side to a win.
We've got AIDS!
Yes we do!
But not nearly as rampant
As you do!
If you eat well at night, stand up! (section by section stands up in a wave-like manner)
Ninety-nine cheetahs chasing your ass, ninety-nine bloodthirsty cats...
(That one'll last a while)
And if those don't work...
I'm a stoned ferret.