I want to re-discover the feeling of feeling Appreciated.
This one is going to ramble. Emotional truths.
I used to like to think of myself as "the most successful failure that I personally knew." I was the only person I knew that didn't finish their Bachelor's, but still got to start and work in their chosen profession. Work at a Fortune500 even. A Fortune500 entertainment company that had 75years or so of existence when I started, even. Full benefits package for myself and My Little Family. ...Get a little glory even.
I got to do some Exciting stuff. Enterprise Java (J2EE), kinda popular, great self-esteem to be one of the Few that knew it. Did it. Not just J2EE, but using development software from IBM. High-powered Linux workstations. Databases from Oracle. Web sites running Websphere, and Apache. Working on things that many people knew. The website for that big blockbuster movie, this other one too, helped on it. Etc.
Then the dot-com implosion happened, and I decided the Risk of staying in dot-com was too much. I had started a family. I wanted stability for My Little Family. Wanted stability for myself, too.
Switched to working for a National Medical Service Provider. Also is of Fortune500 size. Also has been around for a long time. Fifty-plus years. Full benefits for My Little Family and myself.
But, sometimes, we end up noticing something Vital is missing. This year, 2018, I really notice something Vital is missing, for me, where I work, what I do.
What is am missing is a feeling that I am appreciated.
There are automatic benefit perks, that are given to all Employees in my Division. At 5years+1month, an Employee in my Division gets vested in the Pension. At 9years+1month, their "hours of vacation accrued per paycheck" jumps up. Good stuff. Wonderful stuff. They are given by Surviving. By being Useful. For years of Service. (They are impersonal perks.)
When I did my five years of dot-com, I was no one special. Yet, I still can remember occasions where I felt appreciated. When we would do a successful launch of a website, there would be a small celebration. The Executive would say a few words. Not just to the room, but to each of us that had worked on the Project. Pictures would be taken. I still have a framed picture from The Matrix Online launch. I felt appreciated.
So, now, 2018. Don't feel appreciated. Don't feel like my contributions matter. Don't feel like my Loyalty, Work Ethic, all the people I've mentored, matter to my Executive. Don't feel appreciated by my current Manager. I just work. It's a bit numbing, emotionally.
So, now, 2018, with thirteen years working for this National Medical Health Provider, I want to re-discover what I am missing. What I currently lack. I want to re-discover the feeling of feeling Appreciated.
With that Want, I've motivated myself to update my resume. Resume now updated. LinkedIn profile, now updated. LinkedIn contact list, now adjusted. I am going to actively look for my Next Place, where the Goal is to have Both the feelings of being appreciated, the benefits, and the stability for both My Little Family, and Myself.