Yesterday's News...
These are a series of stories which began with the words, “Hello, Steve. Pleased to meet you. I AM SARBOX THE DESTROYER, SCOURGE OF THE ACTUARIAL BARBARIANS AND THE OMEN OF THE COMING DARKNESS OF THAT WHICH SHALL KNOW NO NAME!” Each of the stories of Sarbox the Destroyer is lifted from real-world news events, and twisted…with a very, very liberal mutation of the people, places and events from that news story. I also try to keep them under 300 words, in light of my well-known tendency to ramble on, ad nauseam.
So, please, play along and see if you can spot the nuggets of truth, thus earning you cool points and my everlasting respect. Or just enjoy watching my bizarre creation lay waste to stuff, and cheer him on.
11.
It was in the Third Reapportionment of the God-Whale, Avanc, when the soft-lunged Complainants of Ioc waged siege against the smoke-blackened walls of Pei-Ching. Suddenly, there was a great shaking of the ground and the mighty rumble of an earthquake shook the Porcelain Kingdom to its very foundations. Still, the Emerald Grenadiers of Kyoto and the Green Brigades hurled their might against the walls, unabated, but the forces of Pei-Ching did not return the fight, for their attention was to the rift rent in their land by the upheaval of the very earth. The Mad Shogun was heard to grunt a solemn and soulful grunt at the passing of his many loyal subjects and sent out his steel-faced armies to go provide sanctuary to those affected villages. As they passed, the Complainants of Ioc were made to momentarily stand aside and allow the Mad Shogun to heal his land. Though they stood aside, they did not lend a hand, and a great murmuring could be heard among their throng, “Pay attention to us. Don’t have sympathy for them.” For, like all fanatics, the Complainants of Ioc could only think of one thing at a time. And, high above them, standing astride an Alp, Sarbox the Destroyer bellowed a mighty laugh. For, to his left, the sky gods rained tornadoes down upon the land, to his right the tidal waves crashed, and before him the very earth made rebellion against the rulers of the land. And Sarbox the Destroyer knew this for what it was, an omen of the coming darkness of That Which Must Know No Name. And Sarbox did laugh and laugh until he was swept from his mountaintop by a flock of squawking Neo-Icaran Birdmen.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/05/14/photos.rocketman/index.html
So, please, play along and see if you can spot the nuggets of truth, thus earning you cool points and my everlasting respect. Or just enjoy watching my bizarre creation lay waste to stuff, and cheer him on.
11.
It was in the Third Reapportionment of the God-Whale, Avanc, when the soft-lunged Complainants of Ioc waged siege against the smoke-blackened walls of Pei-Ching. Suddenly, there was a great shaking of the ground and the mighty rumble of an earthquake shook the Porcelain Kingdom to its very foundations. Still, the Emerald Grenadiers of Kyoto and the Green Brigades hurled their might against the walls, unabated, but the forces of Pei-Ching did not return the fight, for their attention was to the rift rent in their land by the upheaval of the very earth. The Mad Shogun was heard to grunt a solemn and soulful grunt at the passing of his many loyal subjects and sent out his steel-faced armies to go provide sanctuary to those affected villages. As they passed, the Complainants of Ioc were made to momentarily stand aside and allow the Mad Shogun to heal his land. Though they stood aside, they did not lend a hand, and a great murmuring could be heard among their throng, “Pay attention to us. Don’t have sympathy for them.” For, like all fanatics, the Complainants of Ioc could only think of one thing at a time. And, high above them, standing astride an Alp, Sarbox the Destroyer bellowed a mighty laugh. For, to his left, the sky gods rained tornadoes down upon the land, to his right the tidal waves crashed, and before him the very earth made rebellion against the rulers of the land. And Sarbox the Destroyer knew this for what it was, an omen of the coming darkness of That Which Must Know No Name. And Sarbox did laugh and laugh until he was swept from his mountaintop by a flock of squawking Neo-Icaran Birdmen.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/05/14/photos.rocketman/index.html