Yesterday's News...
Prefix:
These are a series of stories which began with the words, “Hello, Steve. Pleased to meet you. I AM SARBOX THE DESTROYER, SCOURGE OF THE ACTUARIAL BARBARIANS AND THE OMEN OF THE COMING DARKNESS OF THAT WHICH SHALL KNOW NO NAME!” Each of the stories of Sarbox the Destroyer is lifted from real-world news events, and twisted…with a very, very liberal mutation of the people, places and events from that news story. I also try to keep them under 300 words, in light of my well-known tendency to ramble on, ad nauseam.
So, please, play along and see if you can spot the nuggets of truth, thus earning you cool points and my everlasting respect. Or just enjoy watching my bizarre creation lay waste to stuff, and cheer him on.
12.
In its Eighth Year, the Grindylow Festival of Flesh reached a peak of hitherto fore unseen audacity, and the lands of Mor’Eck were beset by a religious fervor. As though guided by an unseen voice, a multitude of hedge religions rose up from among the many villages and baronies of Mor’Eck, each claiming to be the greatest, and each worshipping at the feet of a different Idol. Each drawn by unseen forces, they converged upon the mighty fortress at the heart of the land and found that all the other idol worshippers had arrived at the same time. The many different Idols and avatars, and the many hordes of their penitent and faithful worshippers made fierce and terrible battle in the cracked streets of Mor’Eck, and many of the lesser idols were lost in the fray. The Obsidian Calf was made to shatter the Fearsome Sunlens and subjugate her dark skinned followers as its own. The Golden Crow was seen to swallow the Meat Puppet and sup upon the flesh of their grotesquerie of inarticulate flagellants. In the end, the Obsidian Calf pitted against the Radiant Crystal Skull of Nur, each backed by armies of faith-fueled lunacy-and that is when Sarbox the Destroyer made ready to pounce. Perched upon the highest spire of the Withered Cathedral, Sarbox readied his three karrakaul bone axes and leapt into the milling throng, that he may lay waste to all as the Omen of the Coming Darkness of That Which Shall Know No Name. In minutes, hundreds lay decimated before the feat of mighty Sarbox the Destroyer, and he made to mount the stage and destroy the false Idols. Moments before he could crush the idolatry, Sarbox was stopped! He locked blades and breathed hatred into the steely eyes of Narthex the Obviator, Condemnifex of the Catechumens and Keeper of the Sacred Reliquary of That Which Must Know No Light!
…to be continued
These are a series of stories which began with the words, “Hello, Steve. Pleased to meet you. I AM SARBOX THE DESTROYER, SCOURGE OF THE ACTUARIAL BARBARIANS AND THE OMEN OF THE COMING DARKNESS OF THAT WHICH SHALL KNOW NO NAME!” Each of the stories of Sarbox the Destroyer is lifted from real-world news events, and twisted…with a very, very liberal mutation of the people, places and events from that news story. I also try to keep them under 300 words, in light of my well-known tendency to ramble on, ad nauseam.
So, please, play along and see if you can spot the nuggets of truth, thus earning you cool points and my everlasting respect. Or just enjoy watching my bizarre creation lay waste to stuff, and cheer him on.
12.
In its Eighth Year, the Grindylow Festival of Flesh reached a peak of hitherto fore unseen audacity, and the lands of Mor’Eck were beset by a religious fervor. As though guided by an unseen voice, a multitude of hedge religions rose up from among the many villages and baronies of Mor’Eck, each claiming to be the greatest, and each worshipping at the feet of a different Idol. Each drawn by unseen forces, they converged upon the mighty fortress at the heart of the land and found that all the other idol worshippers had arrived at the same time. The many different Idols and avatars, and the many hordes of their penitent and faithful worshippers made fierce and terrible battle in the cracked streets of Mor’Eck, and many of the lesser idols were lost in the fray. The Obsidian Calf was made to shatter the Fearsome Sunlens and subjugate her dark skinned followers as its own. The Golden Crow was seen to swallow the Meat Puppet and sup upon the flesh of their grotesquerie of inarticulate flagellants. In the end, the Obsidian Calf pitted against the Radiant Crystal Skull of Nur, each backed by armies of faith-fueled lunacy-and that is when Sarbox the Destroyer made ready to pounce. Perched upon the highest spire of the Withered Cathedral, Sarbox readied his three karrakaul bone axes and leapt into the milling throng, that he may lay waste to all as the Omen of the Coming Darkness of That Which Shall Know No Name. In minutes, hundreds lay decimated before the feat of mighty Sarbox the Destroyer, and he made to mount the stage and destroy the false Idols. Moments before he could crush the idolatry, Sarbox was stopped! He locked blades and breathed hatred into the steely eyes of Narthex the Obviator, Condemnifex of the Catechumens and Keeper of the Sacred Reliquary of That Which Must Know No Light!
…to be continued