Yesterday's News...
Prefix:
These are a series of stories which began with the words, “Hello, Steve. Pleased to meet you. I AM SARBOX THE DESTROYER, SCOURGE OF THE ACTUARIAL BARBARIANS AND THE OMEN OF THE COMING DARKNESS OF THAT WHICH SHALL KNOW NO NAME!” Each of the stories of Sarbox the Destroyer is lifted from real-world news events, and twisted…with a very, very liberal mutation of the people, places and events from that news story. I also try to keep them under 300 words, in light of my well-known tendency to ramble on, ad nauseam.
So, please, play along and see if you can spot the nuggets of truth, thus earning you cool points and my everlasting respect. Or just enjoy watching my bizarre creation lay waste to stuff, and cheer him on.
10.
The Tomorrow Land of Paguin Noca was swept up in a bitter conflict, and would soon be laid waste. What had begun as a skirmish in the Primal Forests of Nah had become a bitter rivalry that raged a swath of devestation across many lands, from the Horrorfields of Tix to the Light Realm of Nuv. Back and forth, the Mulatto King of the Oh-eit Blue Hordes grappled and strategized against the Witch Queen of the Azure Hells. For months, their armies had clashed fiercely on the plains of battle, while at home their people cried for the return of their sons and husbands-but they turned a deaf ear. Rumors surfaced that their armies, weary from months of combat, were infiltrated by the Sowers of Chaos-who lengthened their battles artificially, in order to weaken both rulers’ standing. Sarbox the Destroyer had returned the Spear of Hope to the Mulatto King, but it was diminished…now the Spear of Fading Hope. The Witch-Queen cried out for Sarbox not to return her the sword, Husband’s Misfortune, but he grunted in his stoic way, for she was too foolish to realize it had never truly been taken. For her Husband’s Misfortune would always be there to haunt her. As they marched their armies on to the lands of Kay and Orr, Sarbox surveyed the wasteland left in their wake and laughed a mighty laugh, for knowing these two foes only fed souls to the coming darkness of That Which Shall Know No Name. In the grim Aftermath of Paguin Noca, there could be only war. And from the shadows, the Son of Cain watched and rubbed his mandibles together hungrily, knowing the eventual victor would be weak and easy to pick off.
This one should be obvious...
These are a series of stories which began with the words, “Hello, Steve. Pleased to meet you. I AM SARBOX THE DESTROYER, SCOURGE OF THE ACTUARIAL BARBARIANS AND THE OMEN OF THE COMING DARKNESS OF THAT WHICH SHALL KNOW NO NAME!” Each of the stories of Sarbox the Destroyer is lifted from real-world news events, and twisted…with a very, very liberal mutation of the people, places and events from that news story. I also try to keep them under 300 words, in light of my well-known tendency to ramble on, ad nauseam.
So, please, play along and see if you can spot the nuggets of truth, thus earning you cool points and my everlasting respect. Or just enjoy watching my bizarre creation lay waste to stuff, and cheer him on.
10.
The Tomorrow Land of Paguin Noca was swept up in a bitter conflict, and would soon be laid waste. What had begun as a skirmish in the Primal Forests of Nah had become a bitter rivalry that raged a swath of devestation across many lands, from the Horrorfields of Tix to the Light Realm of Nuv. Back and forth, the Mulatto King of the Oh-eit Blue Hordes grappled and strategized against the Witch Queen of the Azure Hells. For months, their armies had clashed fiercely on the plains of battle, while at home their people cried for the return of their sons and husbands-but they turned a deaf ear. Rumors surfaced that their armies, weary from months of combat, were infiltrated by the Sowers of Chaos-who lengthened their battles artificially, in order to weaken both rulers’ standing. Sarbox the Destroyer had returned the Spear of Hope to the Mulatto King, but it was diminished…now the Spear of Fading Hope. The Witch-Queen cried out for Sarbox not to return her the sword, Husband’s Misfortune, but he grunted in his stoic way, for she was too foolish to realize it had never truly been taken. For her Husband’s Misfortune would always be there to haunt her. As they marched their armies on to the lands of Kay and Orr, Sarbox surveyed the wasteland left in their wake and laughed a mighty laugh, for knowing these two foes only fed souls to the coming darkness of That Which Shall Know No Name. In the grim Aftermath of Paguin Noca, there could be only war. And from the shadows, the Son of Cain watched and rubbed his mandibles together hungrily, knowing the eventual victor would be weak and easy to pick off.
This one should be obvious...