I don't understand why certain products exist. I'm all for marketing, who doesn't love a good Geico gecko? They are so cute with their silly little accents. I'm getting one for my daughter for Christmas actually, but don't tell! I hope she doesn't read this. That could ruin stuff.

Geckos and hamburglers and Joe Camels aside, one product in the ( Read more... )

I don't know why anybody hasn't written about this before but the longest day is CLEARLY when we fall back for Daylight Savings Time. It adds an hour to a twenty four hour day, therefore making it twenty five hours. Done. What's there to debate about? Godless pagan people, don't you dare mention your heathen Summer Solstice. Just because the sun is ( Read more... )

Excuse me? No. Why do I need to talk about politics on my own free time just because you asked me to? You didn't even say please. In case you haven't heard, I have my own tv show on which I talk about politics and get PAID for it. If you want to hear me talk about how this country is going down the toilet due to tree huggers, hippies, the "musical ( Read more... )

Ok,  yeah, this quote is total bullshit. Do you know what really grows on you when you get older? Gray hairs. Gray with an a because that's the AMERICAN way to do it, I don't want to hear this gray with an e crap. That makes it grey then it's not gray anymore. Firefox spell check doesn't even count it as a word, so there ( Read more... )

I live in the greatest country in the world with the greatest family in world and the greatest dog in the world is currently drooling on the greatest shoes in the world. Get down, Ripper! Don't you know that these things cost more than your designer dog biscuits?! Crazy lil guy.

The biggest problem is that I'm away from the greatest state in the ( Read more... )

I fucking hate mimes. They come from France. By default everything from France sucks, especially the men, and you know exactly what they suck on. How can you trust a mime? They have all that makeup that they hide behind and if you haven't noticed, they wear the same clothes that prisoners wear. Coincidence? I think not. Clowns are inherently evil. ( Read more... )

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It's about time you people finally got your heads on straight. Everyone should know that I'm the best dancer. Apparently it took you two years to figure that out. I even had the videos to prove it! I'm not a great dancer... I'm the greatest dancer. Yet twice Tammy and her awards came around and twice she spurned me. Can you even name the winners ( Read more... )