I'm back!
Ha, wow.
Live Journal, the old chestnut. The old haunt. The old blank canvas for my brain splatters.
175 weeks ago was my last post…that’s 3.3 years, and boy how things have changed.
I’m now 7ft tall, making $500k a year in my job, and occasionally I fart lightening bolts.
But no seriously, it has been ages since my last post, so of course things are going to have changed…if in 3 years I HADN’T changed I think I’d be getting very worried. I think my last post was around about the time high school ended, at which point I’m pretty sure I had no Idea what I was going to do afterwards, uni, work, where to live, the normal shit. Well it turns out I went to university down Sydney way and got a Bachelor of Horticulture for the University of Western Sydney. Yeah, I know, UWS is basically the dud uni in Sydney, but it’s actually really good at offering the degrees no one else does, like my degree, and has a lot of cred and weight associated to certain degrees it offers in certain fields...like my degree! On the other side though, if you were say doing an arts degree at UWS…you’re probably a few crayons short of a picnic, if you know what I mean…(no offence to anyone actually doing that)
So, That was the last 3 years. Spent in Richmond, which funnily enough I really enjoyed and sort of miss in a way. The people I met and friends I made are probably more what made it enjoyable and what I mainly miss, but the place itself is also really nice.
Now I’m working full time. I wont get into too much about it, cause basically I don’t really want to…and there’s not much to say about it. I drive all around Sydney looking at peoples gardens. Could be better, could be worse - but at least I have a job unlike a lot of other unfortunate people.
One positive thing that does come out of my job is the large amount of hilarious stories that I come away with. Seriously, without them it would be the worst. When I was thinking of what I could write in my new post I was coming up with nothing, then I thought ‘hey, I can just write all my funny daily stories on here, that’ll work!’- And I will:
First story - I would give them titles, but meh, make your own up.
So I’m at work up in Katoomba in the blue mountains. Now for those of you who haven’t been to Katoomba before, it’s a little…shall we say…different. The people who live up there are a little alternative in their lifestyles. Now don’t get me wrong, lovely people, always willing to have a chat over a cup of tea and always interested in what I have to tell them…but still, just with that hint of weird. Sorta what you imagine the people in the wilderness regions of Tasmania to be like.
Anyway, I’m in the front yard of this house, doing my thing and I hear a rustle in the bushes then “oh shit, it’s someone from the water board…oh crap…shit, get rid of it”. Then I see a rolled cigarette fly out of the bush into some grass, followed by two 20-30 somethings jump up out of the bush and run to the house…completely naked.
As they ran to the house, a good 20m dash, I saw that one was male, and the other female.
The male go to the door first, and flew inside. In his haste to get inside, he managed to slam the door behind him, trapping the naked woman outside. The woman gets to the door, and realises its locked. She tries once with her shoulder to open it with no luck, followed by a harder 2nd attempt…still no luck.
She turns around quickly in sheer terror to see if I'm still watching, then uses her whole body to bust through the door and get inside.
I literally stood there for a good minute trying to process what I had just seen. Whilst standing there I smelt the un-mistakable odour of someone smoking a certain illegal plant leaf.
Again, I took a minute to think about what had happened, before just bursting out in laughter. Basically, 2 adults who clearly lived in their own house decided it would be a good idea to go smoke some weed in the bush in front of their house…naked. Now if that's not funny enough, why the hell would someone from the water board care what they were doing...If they didn't move or say anything I wouldn't have even noticed!
See what I mean about the mountains being just a little bit weird.
That’s it for now. More to come later