(no subject)
I miss having the weekly meetings @ the ED clinic... I don't know why. I'm not sure it made it any better. But at least it was somewhere I could admit how insane this made me feel. I can eat. I am eating... but I feel psychotic doing it. I feel like the way I eat, how much I think about eating, how much I fear eating is SO CONSUMING.
I spend a lot of my day praying that this will go away. I keep saying GET OUT OF MY HEAD. But it remains. The rest of my time is spent telling myself how fat and ugly I am. God I just wish I could spare everyone from this... When I think of all the girls who are going on the pro-ed forums, who are refusing supper, who are counting... who are where I was three years ago. I want to save them. I want to warn them how much this RUINS your life.
I spend a lot of my day praying that this will go away. I keep saying GET OUT OF MY HEAD. But it remains. The rest of my time is spent telling myself how fat and ugly I am. God I just wish I could spare everyone from this... When I think of all the girls who are going on the pro-ed forums, who are refusing supper, who are counting... who are where I was three years ago. I want to save them. I want to warn them how much this RUINS your life.