ugh :(

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish ( Read more... )

world war 3 in my head. If i could just shut my brain off from time to time, i would. hello migrane.

My anxiety has been kicken lately. I broke down at a bar last night. (what the fuck). Thank god Court was there. Poor Ryan probably wouldn't have known how to deal with me like that. So not like me. Maybe once i get a job and feel more settled i will get better. Im happy. Im confused. I don't know if i can read people really well or i'm being an ( Read more... )

its been a while since ive been on this shit. seeing as i have more free time on my hands i may start using it again. maybe.

ive been sitting in bed for weeks now, getting depressed and not knowing what im gonna do. with my life, with my self, with my career, with anything. But tonight I decided even if I dont know what im gonna do with my career and my future, i can make the best out of right now and whats going on in the present. Every day Is a new day and I need to ( Read more... )

i sat in my bathroom for what seemed like forever crying so hard it made my chest hurt cause i miss ryan. Its just as hard as when i first found out. i hate this.

I miss him even though ill never admit to anyone but a pointless online journal. I pretend to hate him to cover up my bitterness for the fact that he probably never thinks about me and I probably think about him on a daily basis.

Dear Ryan,

( Read more... )

It's hard to write lately. Hard to form my thoughts into sentences that make any kind of sense. Hard to slow my brain down enough to actually focus on one thing. Hard to remember without crying. I graduated 2 weeks ago but feel no satisfaction. I feel no closer to any kind of career. I feel suspended in time. Not knowing where im gonna go and not ( Read more... )