Almost 3 months and nothings gotten easier.
It's hard to write lately. Hard to form my thoughts into sentences that make any kind of sense. Hard to slow my brain down enough to actually focus on one thing. Hard to remember without crying. I graduated 2 weeks ago but feel no satisfaction. I feel no closer to any kind of career. I feel suspended in time. Not knowing where im gonna go and not even really knowing where ive been. I look at my past and its sad to say, i feel like i havent learned from a majority of my mistakes. I feel trapped and lonely and stupid and worthless. I dont know what to do except sit here and daze off, thinking of what i wish i could be. Im waiting for someone to come and inspire me to be something amazing and beautiful..but the harsh reality is thats not going to happen. Nothing and no one can fix my rut except me. And thats the scariest part.