Another month and more..
Therapy tonight... I've asked for hypnotherapy referrals as well.
Sleep deprivation or insomnia, loss of appetite, always on edge, stressed and guilted into staying in some way or other.
Sell everything and put it into a trust fund. I would have inherited the house and other things.
I'm lost, I had a plan, I gathered information to let someone come in and help.
But no, when I've begged for help, stated or shown what's needed I'm told I'm the caretaker whether I like it or not.
Nobody who hasn't dealt with this gets it or the years of mental abuse beforehand.
Hope? Nah..used to have it. Dreams? Nope, used to have those too..talked down every time. Manipulated..? Yes, actually, by who ..? Well, something to think about there, wouldn't you say?
I'd like to wait until warmer weather, honestly.
I would like to have a hand or say in what gets sold or is given away.
Placating someone who's sick or can't get something I or someone else that still can reason and make decisions..
Why? It's not going to make them happy knowing they're burdening people they care for or used to if they have a moment where they think clearly and get that flash of understanding. Neither will putting them into a corner and forgetting them because you don't want to deal with them or the problem.
Being angry at them doesn't help, they already feel bad enough and they're trapped in their head as it is.
Y'all who've helped by giving me info to work with, thank you, you have no idea how much you've helped in those moments when I needed it most.
Insisting that because I'm here and because it's my father that I'm obligated to help when I can't even help myself most of the time.. You're not qualified to tell me anything when I question my own mental health and have good reason to.