Fic: ‘knowing his heart’
Title: knowing his heart
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: (PG)
Time Period: Between AotC & RotS.
Summary: He knows his heart.
Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q.).
In order:
when first they meet
goodbye, my friend
within the crowd
what he does
an argument he wins
knowing his heart
goodbye
an unspoken apology
This leads into goodbye, which is probably a few months after this.
I’m gonna put a tissue warning, just in case.
Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of Lucas; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by him.
_______________________
Despite being an offshoot of a public office, this meeting room offers the most privacy on the planet: it’s checked for listening devices every day; recording devices are jammed.
It is also neutral.
“I cannot forget what I saw, what he feels.” His hands are lost within the sleeves of his outer robe. “I am with him every day, confronted by his feelings. He must know how I feel. We cannot hide from each other.”
Her lips press together as she stands, walking around the table. “He has been told what happened on Geonosis was a mistake that cannot happen again, that I was emotionally fraught.” Softly, her voice falls. She meets his eyes, brown holding blue; he has no escape from them. “I cannot lose you.”
He reaches under his robe and when his hand comes out, his lightsabre is in hand, between them. “I was never yours,” he states quietly. “This is who I am. You cannot take this away.”
“I did once.”
“You challenged me on who I would be were I not Jedi. I lost myself in you and when I saw Anakin kiss you, I knew fear and relief.” He lowers his hand. “Fear I had lost you and relief I had lost you.”
She arches an eyebrow.
“I was afraid Anakin held your heart. I was relieved because I truly knew mine at last, after all these years.
“It’s been torn in twain, Padmé,” the lightsabre is reattached. He doesn’t look away. “Am I Jedi or Obi-Wan Kenobi? Am I true to the oath I swore to the Jedi by loving you? Am I not worthy of your love? Would I be more worthy had I not known the Jedi Order, or if I had?
“I love you but I am Jedi. It is time I returned.”
Tears fall, sliding down her cheeks unheeded. She bites her bottom lip.
And nods.
“I could not ask you to not be who you are.” She folds her hands, fingers entwined. “You are more than Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” She reaches up, wipes her cheek. “Let me finish,” she entreats. “You are my friend, my lover. You are honourable. You are more than Jedi,” she repeats.
“You are a good man.”
“Padmé.”
“Don’t,” she shakes her head. “Don’t.”
He steps back, closer to the door. She looks down, both hands now on the table. When she looks up, finally, he is gone.
She sits in the chair behind her, tears beginning anew.
Fandom: Star Wars
Rating: (PG)
Time Period: Between AotC & RotS.
Summary: He knows his heart.
Author's Note: This is quick ‘n’ dirty (for definition see the F. A. Q.).
In order:
when first they meet
goodbye, my friend
within the crowd
what he does
an argument he wins
knowing his heart
goodbye
an unspoken apology
This leads into goodbye, which is probably a few months after this.
I’m gonna put a tissue warning, just in case.
Disclaimer
All characters contained herein are the intellectual property of Lucas; I am not affiliated with nor endorsed by him.
_______________________
Despite being an offshoot of a public office, this meeting room offers the most privacy on the planet: it’s checked for listening devices every day; recording devices are jammed.
It is also neutral.
“I cannot forget what I saw, what he feels.” His hands are lost within the sleeves of his outer robe. “I am with him every day, confronted by his feelings. He must know how I feel. We cannot hide from each other.”
Her lips press together as she stands, walking around the table. “He has been told what happened on Geonosis was a mistake that cannot happen again, that I was emotionally fraught.” Softly, her voice falls. She meets his eyes, brown holding blue; he has no escape from them. “I cannot lose you.”
He reaches under his robe and when his hand comes out, his lightsabre is in hand, between them. “I was never yours,” he states quietly. “This is who I am. You cannot take this away.”
“I did once.”
“You challenged me on who I would be were I not Jedi. I lost myself in you and when I saw Anakin kiss you, I knew fear and relief.” He lowers his hand. “Fear I had lost you and relief I had lost you.”
She arches an eyebrow.
“I was afraid Anakin held your heart. I was relieved because I truly knew mine at last, after all these years.
“It’s been torn in twain, Padmé,” the lightsabre is reattached. He doesn’t look away. “Am I Jedi or Obi-Wan Kenobi? Am I true to the oath I swore to the Jedi by loving you? Am I not worthy of your love? Would I be more worthy had I not known the Jedi Order, or if I had?
“I love you but I am Jedi. It is time I returned.”
Tears fall, sliding down her cheeks unheeded. She bites her bottom lip.
And nods.
“I could not ask you to not be who you are.” She folds her hands, fingers entwined. “You are more than Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” She reaches up, wipes her cheek. “Let me finish,” she entreats. “You are my friend, my lover. You are honourable. You are more than Jedi,” she repeats.
“You are a good man.”
“Padmé.”
“Don’t,” she shakes her head. “Don’t.”
He steps back, closer to the door. She looks down, both hands now on the table. When she looks up, finally, he is gone.
She sits in the chair behind her, tears beginning anew.