(no subject)
it's over.
it's completely 100% over.
and i feel completely empty inside.
i want to wake up from this nightmare.
and realize that's all it is.
because if one simple thing had never happened,
nothing would have ever changed.
i can't stop crying when i'm by myself,
but i'm keeping face around others
so they don't see how miserable i am.
i can't believe 30 seconds can mess up so much.
i'm still not giving up.
but i will respect his wishes for the time being.
and maybe,
someday,
somehow,
things will all be better
because
i still love him.
and it's so hard not to text him "goodnight i love you" right now.
i'm shaking while i make myself put my phone away and put away the things he brought back that i had left at his apartment.
and crying again.
it's completely 100% over.
and i feel completely empty inside.
i want to wake up from this nightmare.
and realize that's all it is.
because if one simple thing had never happened,
nothing would have ever changed.
i can't stop crying when i'm by myself,
but i'm keeping face around others
so they don't see how miserable i am.
i can't believe 30 seconds can mess up so much.
i'm still not giving up.
but i will respect his wishes for the time being.
and maybe,
someday,
somehow,
things will all be better
because
i still love him.
and it's so hard not to text him "goodnight i love you" right now.
i'm shaking while i make myself put my phone away and put away the things he brought back that i had left at his apartment.
and crying again.