(no subject)
Blah. I thought I was going to be able to convince myself that I can get over it, but who the hell am I kidding? It's just frustrating when you love someone so much and they won't even so much as talk to you. Yesterday, I just about had it when he signed off line without warning just because he got mad at me. I definitely stuck up for myself at least:
Megan
this is exactly what you are getting frustrated with me for!
how is it ok for you to do this but not me!?!
Mr
because i dont know how to deal with these situations and i'm learning from you
Megan
what is that supposed to mean?
Mr
that i'm stupid
Megan
?
Mr
that i'm not doing good either
Megan
ok well, if you want me to stop mistreating you then it NEEDS to go both ways
if you get frustrated with me, you can't just ignore me or sign off or completely avoid things
because then it won't get better
ever
Mr
but it can let me cool off
Megan
yes
but say i need to go cool off for a bit
we can talk again later
or something like that
i just need to be treated like a human
Mr
k
Megan
so go cool off
that's fine
we can talk later
i love you
I'm not sure if it's an improvement because he admitted he's not handling our situation well or not. It started up again just a bit ago when I was just trying to start a conversation about his day too. And I reminded him again, I need to be treated like a human.
I'm worried about him too. So are lots of people actually. They call or text me to see what's going on. Funny thing though--I don't know completely either! Someone made a comment today after asked how he's doing that he seems like he's back to who he was my freshman and first semester of sophomore year. I just laugh to myself about that because that's basically the time until we started dating. And now that we aren't he's back to that. Seven credits. But I still want nothing more than to be with him. I don't get why he doesn't just realize that. I won't step in and fix his classes. He can do that if it's worth it. But he should realize that despite the way he treats me like crap, keeps me hanging on a string, doesn't go to all of his classes, only takes seven credits, sleeps instead of working, never apologizes when he mistreats me despite the number of times I tell him I'm sorry every day....(I could keep going) I love him.
I
LOVE
HIM
And he doesn't even seem to realize this and the sacrifices that I would be making if we were back together again. If it's not love, how else could you explain me wanting to be with him so much after those qualifications I just wrote about his life?
Just give me another chance, and that's all you will ever need. Don't let what your brother called "the best thing that ever happened to you" (who knows if that's true or not, but look at your life when we were together compared to the before and after) drift away because you are too stubborn to accept me again. My mom asked when this had been going on for a bit if I thought you were keeping me in limbo because you liked the attention you got from me. I still don't want to believe that, but I will believe one thing with all my heart.
I love you.
Megan
this is exactly what you are getting frustrated with me for!
how is it ok for you to do this but not me!?!
Mr
because i dont know how to deal with these situations and i'm learning from you
Megan
what is that supposed to mean?
Mr
that i'm stupid
Megan
?
Mr
that i'm not doing good either
Megan
ok well, if you want me to stop mistreating you then it NEEDS to go both ways
if you get frustrated with me, you can't just ignore me or sign off or completely avoid things
because then it won't get better
ever
Mr
but it can let me cool off
Megan
yes
but say i need to go cool off for a bit
we can talk again later
or something like that
i just need to be treated like a human
Mr
k
Megan
so go cool off
that's fine
we can talk later
i love you
I'm not sure if it's an improvement because he admitted he's not handling our situation well or not. It started up again just a bit ago when I was just trying to start a conversation about his day too. And I reminded him again, I need to be treated like a human.
I'm worried about him too. So are lots of people actually. They call or text me to see what's going on. Funny thing though--I don't know completely either! Someone made a comment today after asked how he's doing that he seems like he's back to who he was my freshman and first semester of sophomore year. I just laugh to myself about that because that's basically the time until we started dating. And now that we aren't he's back to that. Seven credits. But I still want nothing more than to be with him. I don't get why he doesn't just realize that. I won't step in and fix his classes. He can do that if it's worth it. But he should realize that despite the way he treats me like crap, keeps me hanging on a string, doesn't go to all of his classes, only takes seven credits, sleeps instead of working, never apologizes when he mistreats me despite the number of times I tell him I'm sorry every day....(I could keep going) I love him.
I
LOVE
HIM
And he doesn't even seem to realize this and the sacrifices that I would be making if we were back together again. If it's not love, how else could you explain me wanting to be with him so much after those qualifications I just wrote about his life?
Just give me another chance, and that's all you will ever need. Don't let what your brother called "the best thing that ever happened to you" (who knows if that's true or not, but look at your life when we were together compared to the before and after) drift away because you are too stubborn to accept me again. My mom asked when this had been going on for a bit if I thought you were keeping me in limbo because you liked the attention you got from me. I still don't want to believe that, but I will believe one thing with all my heart.
I love you.