Sucks
How is it that I continue to be so naive? I tell myself each time not to get too involved, not to feel so much, but when I'm in it, I can't help myself. I mentally, physically, and emotionally cannot stop myself from falling too hard too fast. That is just how I live life, how I've always lived life. I'm passionate as fuck and sometimes it is good, but when it comes to the opposite sex, it is the worst thing ever.
I should know by now that lies surround me, just waiting for their opportunity to spill out of some new guy's mouth. Lies that hit me and enter my core like a bullet, paralyzing me, spinning around inside of me, making loops around my heart. Without fail, some new guy comes around and stays long enough to tell me they would never hurt me like the last one did, never treat me so shitty. They seem genuine enough and then I fall. Before long, all I can do is look up, attempt to climb up, retract some of those intense feelings I had cultivated. However, by the time I get back up, the new guy who "would never hurt me" is nowhere in sight. The truth is, he took off running directly after I first began my fall.
I can't kid myself anymore. My passion is driving every guy away from me. It possesses me, obsesses me, drives me to psychosis. I become dependent, needy, jealous and at the root of it all is my vulnerability and self-consciousness.
They always lie and they always leave. I can't even blame them anymore.
I should know by now that lies surround me, just waiting for their opportunity to spill out of some new guy's mouth. Lies that hit me and enter my core like a bullet, paralyzing me, spinning around inside of me, making loops around my heart. Without fail, some new guy comes around and stays long enough to tell me they would never hurt me like the last one did, never treat me so shitty. They seem genuine enough and then I fall. Before long, all I can do is look up, attempt to climb up, retract some of those intense feelings I had cultivated. However, by the time I get back up, the new guy who "would never hurt me" is nowhere in sight. The truth is, he took off running directly after I first began my fall.
I can't kid myself anymore. My passion is driving every guy away from me. It possesses me, obsesses me, drives me to psychosis. I become dependent, needy, jealous and at the root of it all is my vulnerability and self-consciousness.
They always lie and they always leave. I can't even blame them anymore.