(no subject)
Chasing white rabbits is so tempting.
Today is one of those days I wish I didn't have a home.
I'd love to be anywhere but here. And I just got back.
It's because you get so, so tired of the same patterns, day in, day out.
Sleeping too much. Seeing the sun too little. Waiting.
You spend so much time waiting, dear one. For what?
This is how the cycle will always be. Things will be good for a while. I'll be settled into the goodness, all snuggled and satisfied and happy. Then I'll get restless. For what or where, I don't know. And it doesn't really matter. For anything but the familiar, the expected, the planned, and the regular.
I'm getting that feeling, deep down in my bones. It's getting stronger every day.
It starts off like an itch. Then it becomes a certain type of pressure, like all of the bones in my body are being uniformly compressed. A light heaviness. And then eventually it turns into invisible shakes. Not bad shakes, but like an energy. An imperceptible electricity, flowing through my arms and my legs, shaking up my whole body but leaving me steady.
And then I want to drive away, anywhere away, and I wish I didn't have a home.