Chronic Pain and BDSM
Another of those "easier on LJ" topics; I want it to be an open and available conversation, but I don't want to make anyone deal with it, either.
There are some forms of physical therapy that, while highly effective, are just going to be interesting to ever explain to the docs. *feels so much better*
...
*chuckle* true. most docs don't advertise their experience with bdsm as a form of pain relief...
I really don't like talking around things like that. It's not natural to me, and it's an intentional reaction to not having other easy ways to address opting out of reading just my sex-related stuff. I'll often make a relatively general or oblique reference in a status post, and then give more detail in the comments if I feel like that'll sort of function as an LJ-CUT/opt-in kind of thing.
So, here's something closer to what I would've said otherwise...
Intense impact play on my back, combined with massage and biting and a good hard multiorgasmic hitachi-assisted fuck does wonders for my overall pain and mobility level. I was hobbling by the time I got to bed last night, and could barely move. All I could really do was groan semi-incoherently at Chad about what I was craving. About an hour later, near-miraculous improvement. Didn't fix the insomnia, unfortunately, but for how little sleep I've had at this point, how physically exhausted I am, I'm still substantially more mobile and low-pain than I was 10 hours ago.
Orgasms certainly can be good that way in general, especially with lots of g-spot stimulation, but impact play adds a whole additional level of pain relief for me. It's certainly something I enjoy when I'm feeling fine, but when I can find the right balance to using it with the fibro flares it can be truly amazing for the muscle and full-body aches. Part of it is sort of like slapping an itchy spot to make it stop itching by triggering different nerves, but a lot of it is about the really thuddy hard impact; when I'm in pain I have very little tolerance for what I think of as the "higher registers" of sensation -- stingy toys, sharp intense sensation, focused clit play, high frequency vibes -- and much, much better with the "lower registers" -- pressure, impact, penetration play, fisting, hair pulling, Hitachi rumble. I have to be much closer to peak form for the higher registers to register as pleasurable instead of irritating or painful, I can respond to the lower registers pretty reliably when I'm in really bad shape physically. If I'm worrying about coital migraine, I also tend to do better dodging them when I stay mostly in those lower registers as well.
I know I've talked about this intermittently with other kinky folks who have chronic pain issues, and there's been some agreement that we find interesting intersections and overlaps in things, so I'm curious for more feedback from more people about that. Experiences?
Oh, and I've determined pretty conclusively that my fibro tender points are actually some of the points where I respond best to that kind of deep sensation, and where I'm extra-sensitive in a way that can be erotic and pleasurable in those circumstances. I think anyone who has been sexual with me knows how much my back is a central and primary erogenous zone for me, and this is nowhere more true that around the tender points on the back -- almost everything labelled on the back view (although almost no similar response with the tender points labelled from the front view) is a specific erotically reactive hot-button for me under the right circumstances. I sort of wonder whether the erotic response on my back or my tender points came first. I honestly don't recall at all, and my fibro was undiagnosed for almost five years before it was correctly identified when I was 20, so I didn't even know about tender points as an element of fibro when I was first learning about my own back's sensitivity on a sexual level.
There are some forms of physical therapy that, while highly effective, are just going to be interesting to ever explain to the docs. *feels so much better*
...
*chuckle* true. most docs don't advertise their experience with bdsm as a form of pain relief...
I really don't like talking around things like that. It's not natural to me, and it's an intentional reaction to not having other easy ways to address opting out of reading just my sex-related stuff. I'll often make a relatively general or oblique reference in a status post, and then give more detail in the comments if I feel like that'll sort of function as an LJ-CUT/opt-in kind of thing.
So, here's something closer to what I would've said otherwise...
Intense impact play on my back, combined with massage and biting and a good hard multiorgasmic hitachi-assisted fuck does wonders for my overall pain and mobility level. I was hobbling by the time I got to bed last night, and could barely move. All I could really do was groan semi-incoherently at Chad about what I was craving. About an hour later, near-miraculous improvement. Didn't fix the insomnia, unfortunately, but for how little sleep I've had at this point, how physically exhausted I am, I'm still substantially more mobile and low-pain than I was 10 hours ago.
Orgasms certainly can be good that way in general, especially with lots of g-spot stimulation, but impact play adds a whole additional level of pain relief for me. It's certainly something I enjoy when I'm feeling fine, but when I can find the right balance to using it with the fibro flares it can be truly amazing for the muscle and full-body aches. Part of it is sort of like slapping an itchy spot to make it stop itching by triggering different nerves, but a lot of it is about the really thuddy hard impact; when I'm in pain I have very little tolerance for what I think of as the "higher registers" of sensation -- stingy toys, sharp intense sensation, focused clit play, high frequency vibes -- and much, much better with the "lower registers" -- pressure, impact, penetration play, fisting, hair pulling, Hitachi rumble. I have to be much closer to peak form for the higher registers to register as pleasurable instead of irritating or painful, I can respond to the lower registers pretty reliably when I'm in really bad shape physically. If I'm worrying about coital migraine, I also tend to do better dodging them when I stay mostly in those lower registers as well.
I know I've talked about this intermittently with other kinky folks who have chronic pain issues, and there's been some agreement that we find interesting intersections and overlaps in things, so I'm curious for more feedback from more people about that. Experiences?
Oh, and I've determined pretty conclusively that my fibro tender points are actually some of the points where I respond best to that kind of deep sensation, and where I'm extra-sensitive in a way that can be erotic and pleasurable in those circumstances. I think anyone who has been sexual with me knows how much my back is a central and primary erogenous zone for me, and this is nowhere more true that around the tender points on the back -- almost everything labelled on the back view (although almost no similar response with the tender points labelled from the front view) is a specific erotically reactive hot-button for me under the right circumstances. I sort of wonder whether the erotic response on my back or my tender points came first. I honestly don't recall at all, and my fibro was undiagnosed for almost five years before it was correctly identified when I was 20, so I didn't even know about tender points as an element of fibro when I was first learning about my own back's sensitivity on a sexual level.
